Top things not to say during sex

[Stoli]

I think I'm going to go read the Bible instead...

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled."

 

[Pillar]

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled."

God dammit, it's not Puritan enough!

 

[Stoli]

God dammit, it's not Puritan enough!

It's almost zoo enough lol

 

[Pillar]

"Uh.... I would love to have sex with you, but I take my celibacy vows seriously." ?

 

[Pillar]

If I have sex with you, does that mean I'm cheating on my future partner?

 

[Painted Pony]

Who is your future partner?

 

[Painted Pony]

Oh, shit, I wasn't supposed to say that.

 

[Painted Pony]

I'll have sex with you, but I consider it cheating on my mare.

 

[Pillar]

Who is your future partner?

Whomever that may be - as of the moment I don't have a future partner. I want to be loyal to that *special* person I've never met.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

You may have the IQ of a doorknob, but at least you look pretty, so you have that going for ya!

 

[Pillar]

You may have the IQ of a doorknob, but at least you look pretty!

I know I'm dumb, goddammit!

 

[Mickflare]

I want you to slap me in the face and call me AOC the donkey punch squad leader.

 

[Pillar]

Comrade Putin knows best!

 

[Mickflare]

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers!

 

[Pillar]

Shhhhh.... I'm huntin' wabbits.

 

[Pillar]

Jesus, SAVE ME!!!! ?

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Comrade Putin knows best!

Damn girl, you have the the face of Vladimir Putin. It feels like I'll be Putin my dick in your cunt!

 

[Painted Pony]

You felt that? After all the videos you made?

 

[Pillar]

Hail Stan.

(Yes, I mean Stan and not the other guy.)

 

[Painted Pony]

Stan the Man Musical.

 

[Pillar]

I want to do this the Puritan way - put your clothes back on!

 

[FutureSugarDaddy]

*giggles*
*covers mouth and points*

 

[FutureSugarDaddy]

Mother said it would be like this...

 

[Pillar]

*giggles*
*covers mouth and points*

Damnit, I knew it!

 

[Pillar]

*giggles*
*covers mouth and points*

Uhh... Are you laughing at me?

 

[Painted Pony]

Uhh... Are you laughing at me?

I hate it when he does that! MY STUFFED PONY, NOT YOURS, GO AWAY!

 

[Furf2b2b]

ARF ! I see why you like to NOSE ass FUCK , Now PONOKYOU !!! TELL another LIE and then TRUTH, ! Faster!!

 

[Painted Pony]

The Statue of Liberty is Kaput. (quoting)

 

[Pillar]

Das auto, Volkswagen.

 

[Painted Pony]

My F-250 can eat your VW for lunch.

Oh, that's your VW.

Wait, I can get hard again!