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Deep quotes you heard or made up?

"The biggest misconception humans have about the universe is that it's enormous. It's not. It's tiny. It's also finite and smells of slightly burnt caramel corn."
 
"Being an alien is easier than being a human. We have evolved past having emotions, so we are not forced to deal with things like seasonal depression and road rage. We also have no roads, so nobody and cut you off. Not even Alpha Draconians, who are lizard-faced dick heads."
 
"If I had 6 arms I could cut my shower time in half. Could get my nuts my butt and my pits and still have a pair to spare."
 
if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them
 
"When you're dead I'm going to freeze you and make snowcones from your gross dead ice, and add the worse snowcone flavor to it. Papaya!"
 
"Humans live to consume, and their appetites are endless. They drop garbage on the ground wherever they go. Earth is like a house they lit on fire but continue to live in. They use Earth's resources to make ugly things, like teal croks and truck nuts."
 
"I appreciate mythical creatures, alright I really do... well, expect for mermaids. You know, where do they get off sittin' up on rocks all high and mighty expecting you to ask them out on a date. I mean, why they so stuck up? I mean, if you half fish you gonna smell all like fish. You understand?"
 
"I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. Everyone who is alive has been born, it is not special. A birthday party is just a participation trophy."
 
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