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Deep quotes you heard or made up?

"I like unexplained things. Unexplained things ooze low expectations. If something is unexplained, that means even the best thinkers havn’t come up with a rational reason for its existence, which gives everyone else the freedom not to bother worrying about it."
Like when a webserver returns the error message “an unexpected error occured…”
I always wants to ask what an expected error is then.
 
I am not an alcoholic.
Alcoholics go to meetings. I go to parties.
OK, I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I've heard/read that (or a *VERY* close variation of it) SOMEWHERE before, but I'l be damned if I can remember the source... Seems to me like something Stephen King might have had one (or several over the years?) of his characters say, but there are so many possibilities for "who delivered the line" that would fit that it doesn't help much to narrow it down...
 
OK, I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I've heard/read that (or a *VERY* close variation of it) SOMEWHERE before, but I'l be damned if I can remember the source... Seems to me like something Stephen King might have had one (or several over the years?) of his characters say, but there are so many possibilities for "who delivered the line" that would fit that it doesn't help much to narrow it down...
I have just translated it from my language. But where it came from originally ?
 
OK, I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I've heard/read that (or a *VERY* close variation of it) SOMEWHERE before, but I'l be damned if I can remember the source... Seems to me like something Stephen King might have had one (or several over the years?) of his characters say, but there are so many possibilities for "who delivered the line" that would fit that it doesn't help much to narrow it down...
I have just translated it from my language. But where it came from originally ?
Will Ferrell - Old School (and he repeated it in Anchor Man)
“I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings, I’m a drunk, I go to parties“
 
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"There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now you remember that and you'll live a long and happy life."
 
"There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now you remember that and you'll live a long and happy life."
Unless you are dating a guy, then your fries are your fries and his fries are your fries. If he says “no”. Remember that when you get in the bedroom.
 
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