Deep quotes you heard or made up?

[humananimal]

Old people - your secrets are safe with your friends, they can‘t remember them either.

 

[dartel]

"I never get lost, I just can't figure out where I am sometimes."

 

[humananimal]

On the back of a girls T-shirt - ”don’t follow me, I am lost too”

 

[coomerfarm]

"went from happy to angry, skip sad
now I feel like kicking kicking his ass." chuck from anger management

 

[sarahsingletono98]

OK, I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I've heard/read that (or a *VERY* close variation of it) SOMEWHERE before, but I'l be damned if I can remember the source... Seems to me like something Stephen King might have had one (or several over the years?) of his characters say, but there are so many possibilities for "who delivered the line" that would fit that it doesn't help much to narrow it down...

I have just translated it from my language. But where it came from originally ?

Will Ferrell - Old School (and he repeated it in Anchor Man)
“I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings, I’m a drunk, I go to parties“

 

[dartel]

"The art of diplomacy is knowing when to compromise. The art of security is knowing when to not."

 

[wishboner]

The wetter the better!

 

[dartel]

"What kind of psychopath spells John without an h?"

 

[UR20Z]

"What kind of psychopath spells John without an h?"

Jim Davis would be one... Garfield's person is Jon Q. Arbuckle

 

[dartel]

"There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now you remember that and you'll live a long and happy life."

 

[Derek18]

"being fearless does not make you brave fear makes you brave without fear there would be nothing to be brave about"

 

[sarahsingletono98]

"There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now you remember that and you'll live a long and happy life."

Unless you are dating a guy, then your fries are your fries and his fries are your fries. If he says “no”. Remember that when you get in the bedroom.

 

[wishboner]

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence." - Oscar Wilde

 

[wishboner]

Sargasm: When the urge to make a sarcastic reply is so overwhelming, you can only roll your eyes and grunt incoherently.

 

[Beastkin]

You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.

 

[dartel]

"I have stood next to death, and he won."

 

[Beastkin]

 

[MickeyBear95]

“Why should we feel anger at the world? As if the world would notice. The best answer to anger is silence”

Marcu Aurelius Antoninus

 

[dartel]

"A fool who takes up arms only threatens himself."

 

[SxaBeast]

"What kind of psychopath spells John without an h?"

Juan. Ivan.

 

[wishboner]

“When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.” probably why I record my conversations with my boss...

 

[Cyon]

"Don't take the advice of every elder. Even fools grow old"

 

[MickeyBear95]

"Don't take the advice of every elder. Even fools grow old"

Thats a really good one, actually!

 

[nynjtransplant]

Give me your deep as the depths quotes

People with no pride can’t feel shame.

 

[Derek18]

where there is less opportunity there is more opportunity because you can make your own opportunity one my dad used to always say

 

[DesireWolf]

"Be curious, not judgmental."

 

[dartel]

"If the universe had a scale for intelligence, humans would land right below lizards."

 

[Inquisitive]

dyslexic agnostic... "Is there a dog" ?

 

[dartel]

"The leading cause of death isn't heart disease, it's almond milk."

 

[humananimal]

A cow is more flexible than a cat !
She can stand up and lick her behind, a cat has to sit ?