Bad Genie

[Reconscope]

(Why can't we grant wishes in order?)

Granted, you will now find one piece of garbage.

I wish I could space travel.

Granted have fun breathing in space

I wish I was an extrovert

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

(Why can't we grant wishes in order?)

Granted, you will now find one piece of garbage.

I wish I could space travel.

granted, and you immediately fall into a blackhole

I wish I could switch bodies with people

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted have fun breathing in space

I wish I was an extrovert

Granted, but you go too far and become an exhibitionist

I wish I could lift a bus

 

[jeffs_ fantasies]

Granted have fun breathing in space

I wish I was an extrovert

Granted, but you r the last person on earth

I wish I could score highly without studying

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but everyone thinks you cheated and you get expelled

I wish I could learn everything in a book by sleeping with it under my pillow

 

[son1911]

Granted, but it has to be the book of Mormon.

I wish to write a bestseller.

 

[Reconscope]

Granted the bestseller you can write is in your garage sale.


I wish I can save the universe with no effort and unlimited powers

 

[ShanoirII]

granted: you have unlimited power to do anything, but not unlimited knowledge to know how to use it

i wish zoophilia was more widespread

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, but only rectal injection of worms are accepted.

I wish I won the Nobel prize in biology.

 

[Reconscope]

Granted now everybody looks at you for advice.

I wish I was a friend to all animals like some Snow White

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, now you have the burden of taking it more personally when they die because theyre your friends

i wish zooville was a real place (actually... do I? lol)

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but without the anonymity of the internet nobody is brave enough to visit.

I wish I could control the weather.

 

[son1911]

Granted, you can now make rain, more rain and even more rain.

I wish I had a job.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted. Just granted.

I wish I had more free time.

 

[son1911]

Granted, Willy the killer whale is waiting for you.

I wish I could do the split.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, but you cant control when you do it

i wish i could mold figures out of clay and make them come to life

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but your creations will run amok and you'll be forced to destroy them.

I wish a had a dragon friend.

 

[son1911]

Granted, you now have a dragon boyfriend.

I wish I were less shy.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, lets start by having a 24/7 reality tv show of you that includes you going to the bathroom and posting smut on zooville.


i wish i could compose good music

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but your lyrics suck.

I wish for ice cream for dessert.

 

[son1911]

Granted, your dragon boyfriend has iced his "cream" for you.

I wish I had a boyfriend.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, but you soon discover hes a vampire werewolf, hope you liked Twilight

i wish mcdonalds coffee recipe was consistent(ly good)

 

[son1911]

Granted, you've lost your taste.

I wish Iiked Twilight.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, now you must join r/twilight

i wish the structure of the universe conformed to euclidean geometry

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but since I don't know what that is, and my search engine inquiries didn't help me much, let's just say that the entire universe begins to implode.

I wish I had $1 million USD in my bank account right now.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted. but whenever you spend it, it must be in cash

i wish the earth were flat disc, resting on pillars, and enclosed by a glass dome

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but since we only have the one @Pillar the earth ends up toppling over!

I wish that I had the ability to see through any object.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, so now you cant tell where the floor is when youre trying to walk because its transparent

i wish everyone in the world spontaneously gained 30 points of IQ

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, everyone gains 30 IQ points... except for you.

I wish the that every dog finds a loving home.

 

[son1911]

Granted, you now have every dog in your home.

I wish I had a pair of cool sunglasses.