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Bad Genie

CarolinaHorseGirl said:
Granted, but now you are in a tournament of the gods and your next opponents are the norse ones.

I wish I was more popular with the ladies.
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Wait, if you're a woman why would you need to do that?
YIMBY said:
Granted. All the grandmas in town dote on you.

I wish I had a motorcycle.
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Granted. It's a 1960s vintage bike and it's beyond repair and can't be used for salvage parts.


I wish I could know the secrets of the universe.
 
granted. you have now reached a state of such immaculate enlightenment and wisdom that, by comparison, all other people seem brutish and foolish, and you cannot stand to be in the company of other people, for they are either unable or, more likely, unwilling to "get on your level".

i wish my closet door was a two-way portal into an extradimensional space, leading to a wide plane consisting of a fantastical wilderness scape, full of a variety of biomes and creatures
 
Granted, however you lost the key and can only listen to the fun everyone is having on the other side of the door

I wish I had a key to Shanoirll's closet
 
Granted. You see yourself in Hell and me on the throne on the right side of Satan. Now pray for mercy!

I wish I could travel in time.
 
Granted. You now exist as subatomic particles and can exist in two places at once.

I wish to defeat Satan.
 
granted. now everything in the universe conforms to god's immaculately holy will.
which means no more fornication, gambling, exotic dancing, pot-smoking, masturbation, cussing, women usurping authority over men, etc.

i wish my mind had the processing power of a supercomputer
 
Granted. You gain speed, but, now your brain is much much more primitive than an average human brain with all that quadrillion synapses.

I wish I had a house on the Moon!
 
Granted. You have the drives but don't have the keys.

I wish I could understand this allegedly "perfect" will of GOD (no fornication, pot smoking, etc.).
 
Pillar said:
Granted. You have the drives but don't have the keys.

I wish I could understand this allegedly "perfect" will of GOD (no fornication, pot smoking, etc.).
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granted. you now understand the will of god, and - oh no! - its all so clear to you now, and you agree with it!
you are now just as much of a puritanical crusader as god is! his most devout follower!


i wish i could withstand blazing heat or fatal cold as if it were standard room temperature
 
Granted. Your nerves no longer exist and you can no longer feel anything, no pain, no pleasure.

I wish I could kill God and Satan and both their armies simultaneously.
 
Granted, now because you can kill something immortal we suddenly live in a universe where paradoxes are possible and logic has no meaning, and everything falls apart at the quantum seams....

I wish I could cum like a fire hose.
 
Granted. You get pushed off an airplane with skydiving gear that may or may not malfunction on you in order to overcome your fear.

I wish to know the truth.
 
Pillar said:
Granted. Your nerves no longer exist and you can no longer feel anything, no pain, no pleasure.

I wish I could kill God and Satan and both their armies simultaneously.
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Granted

But how are you going to deal with the left-overs? :)
 
Pillar said:
Granted. You get pushed off an airplane with skydiving gear that may or may not malfunction on you in order to overcome your fear.

I wish to know the truth.
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Granted - Come visit me in the here-after, and I'll tell you my truth!

I wish I could swallow a double edged sword!
 
Granted - you swallow that sword and you die.

I wish I could know the truth WHILE ALIVE.
 
Granted - You will know the truth, but the longer you know the truth, the less inteligent you will be

I wish i could increase a probability of something happening, just by thinking about that thing while crossing my fingers
 
Granted. You now suffer aphantasia and you can't think clearly about what you want anymore.

I wish I could meet God in person without dying.
 
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