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Bad Genie

ShanoirII said:
granted. you are now responsible for the entire universe, meaning you will be the target of all the collective expletives and profanities that all lifeforms hurl into the void, since they will have you to blame for every little thing that goes wrong. "Oh, Steven Raccoon damn it" will be the most common blasphemous cuss word from now on

i wish i had clothes and sheets that kept themselves clean
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If I was the target of collective profanities that's a price worth paying if I didn't have to lift a finger.

And your wish has been granted. Each square foot of self cleaning cloth is $150,000 meaning that obtaining the fabric you want is above your net worth.

I wish I was more omnipotent and omniscient than God.
 
Granted, but you are one of the gods that no one believes in anymore so you can't change anything.

I wish I could sleep for 1 minute and feel fully rested.
 
Ted Danson Machine said:
Granted, but you are one of the gods that no one believes in anymore so you can't change anything.

I wish I could sleep for 1 minute and feel fully rested.
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Granted. Due to the little need for sleep your lifespan is now cut by 99 percent.

I wish I could know why people need to believe in a god for things to change.
 
Granted, you now know how scared the masses are of there being nothing out there and are depressed

I wish I could read every language that has yet to be deciphered
 
Granted. It only works once and the destination is the Jurassic Age prior to the Chixilub impact.

I wish I knew what I looked like if I was god this time (not the same as the last one).
 
Granted, you look like yourself because we were made in his image, you feel depressed even more than when you learned about the scared masses

I wish I could create a cure for cancer
 
Granted, you see the fallacy and your mind cannot handle the paradox (should have wished for god brain too lol), you are now insane as well as depressed

I wish I had unlimited resources to conduct psychological research
 
Ted Danson Machine said:
Granted, you see the fallacy and your mind cannot handle the paradox (should have wished for god brain too lol), you are now insane as well as depressed

I wish I had unlimited resources to conduct psychological research
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Granted, you’re the test subject.

I wish I had the exact amount of money to pay for something in my pocket in the least possible amounts of bills/change of the local currency.
 
granted, you have untangled the paradox and found that, nothing is interesting when it's easy to understand.........you are depressed and bored now
lol

I wish my internet wasn't being a little bitch today and being slower than molasses
 
Granted. It only works at night and is melted into your skin and cannot be surgically removed.

I wish to have a long conversation with God.
 
granted. the conversation is at the Great White Throne Judgment before the Lord casts you into the everlasting Lake of Fire, and the subject matter is all of your sins, blasphemy, and unbelief. youre not a zoophile, but youre going to the same place that zoophiles go when they die
???????????????

i wish, when i was typing a message and get a notification, that when i clicked on the bell box it would just show me the popup menu instead of taking me to a separate page and erasing the big chunk of text that i will have to rewrite
 
granted. you meant "God's Power", as in the move in Breath of Fire II for the SNES, where Deathevn steals 30% of all party members' HP and MP, right?

i wish for an unlimited supply of sugar free french vanilla iced coffee that never went stale or got warm
 
No, I meant being all powerful.

Granted, your iced coffee is stored at absolute zero and will vaporize the moment it gets a degree warmer than that.


I wish I was a mind reader.
 
well, Breath of Fire II was a game about destroying a church made by a demonic god who created an evil religion with a loving facade for the purpose of devoting the world to him so he could channel the power of their fanaticism. so it may be mildly relevant lol

granted. you now know exactly how little everyone around you actually thinks about you, which is simultaneously liberating and kind of depressing

i wish that mcdonalds frappe machine worked.
 
granted. you run so fast that you dont have time to realize that youre about to collide with a tree at over 150 miles per hour. ouch

i wish we had a full copy of the original epic of the twelve labors of Heracles
 
granted. you did not clarify the nature of these powers, so ill give you the supernatural ability, 'Detect Honor', so you can know the social standing of everyone you meet at a glance

i wish i could sculpt things out of clay and make them come to life
 
granted. since the number of the dead outdoes the number of the living by several orders of magnitude, the world is so thick with souls that you cannot actually see much of anything else past them.

i wish i fell slowly and could not get hurt from a long drop
 
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