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Bad Genie

Granted. We now have many more examples of ancient poetry.

I wish for something really impressive but not harmful to happen outside my window.
 
Granted. Ball lightning drops out of the clear blue sky right outside your window, settles on the ground, then disintegrates. However, another person happened to be looking out their window at the same time, saw the ball lighting, and started a religious cult around it right next door.

I wish that I had a notebook that caused whatever items that are written on the lines of its pages to be materialized right before it in three dimensional reality.
 
ShanoirII said:
...and started a religious cult around it right next door.
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That sounds pretty harmful.
ShanoirII said:
I wish that I had a notebook that caused whatever items that are written on the lines of its pages to be materialized right before it in three dimensional reality.
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Granted, but somebody has written "ball lightning" halfway across every margin, so it has a 50/50 chance of appearing every time you write something else.

I wish I could ride a unicycle.
 
YIMBY said:
That sounds pretty harmful.
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the cult didnt start without your window, it started in your neighbor's basement

Granted, but it's to a floppy disk.

I wish i could think into existence thought creatures to live in my mind and talk to me
 
Granted, you know have the ability to create imaginary friends. But you also have to run a home for all of them.
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I wish that I could spend more time on reading.
 
Granted, your reading comprehension speed is now slower.

I wish the interior of my closet was an infinite plane of procedurally generated wilderness
 
Granted, but it's the same type of wilderness and completely uninhabited.

I wish I had more self-motivation.
 
Granted, you are even more motivated to stay in bed all day long.

I wish I always knew what to have for dinner.
 
Granted. You are such a good cook that Gordon Ramsey hears about you and comes to your house to personally taste your food. Best of luck.

I wish I could see ultraviolet and infrared colors outside the visible human spectrum
 
Granted, but it is cursed such that all the ink ground using it will relocate itself once applied to a page to spell out evil hexes and incantations. (i had to stretch on that one)

I wish that, the next time a self-important person goes to sleep, they will have a 3D trumpet man tell them in their dream that they're not perfect.
 
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Granted, but I stole their secret recipes and start making bootleg mcdonalds that i sell in back alleys for a fortune.

I wish for a chalice with a bezoar stone in it
 
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granted, your garbage cans, dishwashers, washing machines, and brooms are now possessed.

i wish nofap really gave you superpowers
 
i wish that i could send telepathic messages to characters in movies to make the story change and have new animations/lines/etc be produced in real-time as if the characters were actually making decisions and not following a premade script
 
Granted, but you will always forget the whole movie 5 minutes after the end.

I wish pink colour to be banned worldwide.
 
granted. the law of conservation of energy must be violated to fulfill your wish, since any light waves with a wavelength in the visible pink spectrum must either spontaneously gain or lose energy to be converted to another color, resulting in runaway hot and cold snaps that occur with no cause. this also has the effect of eliminating near-pink colors, like many reds and whites, because colors are as well-defined as a shoreline during a tsunami.

i wish our bodies were self-sustaining so we would not die if we did not have food, water, or air
 
Granted. Since you're self sustaining, all pores, holes, sphincters anal or otherwise becomes nonessential therefore are all sealed up. Never to eat, piss, shit, fuck and even not able to get that delicious greeny that took 10 minutes to fish out of your nostril.

I wish I could murder God to take over just like he murdered hundreds of gods and millions of people in the old testament.
 
granted. you are now responsible for the entire universe, meaning you will be the target of all the collective expletives and profanities that all lifeforms hurl into the void, since they will have you to blame for every little thing that goes wrong. "Oh, Steven Raccoon damn it" will be the most common blasphemous cuss word from now on

i wish i had clothes and sheets that kept themselves clean
 
ShanoirII said:
granted. you are now responsible for the entire universe, meaning you will be the target of all the collective expletives and profanities that all lifeforms hurl into the void, since they will have you to blame for every little thing that goes wrong. "Oh, Steven Raccoon damn it" will be the most common blasphemous cuss word from now on

i wish i had clothes and sheets that kept themselves clean
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If I was the target of collective profanities that's a price worth paying if I didn't have to lift a finger.

And your wish has been granted. Each square foot of self cleaning cloth is $150,000 meaning that obtaining the fabric you want is above your net worth.

I wish I was more omnipotent and omniscient than God.
 
Granted, but you are one of the gods that no one believes in anymore so you can't change anything.

I wish I could sleep for 1 minute and feel fully rested.
 
Ted Danson Machine said:
Granted, but you are one of the gods that no one believes in anymore so you can't change anything.

I wish I could sleep for 1 minute and feel fully rested.
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Granted. Due to the little need for sleep your lifespan is now cut by 99 percent.

I wish I could know why people need to believe in a god for things to change.
 
Granted, you now know how scared the masses are of there being nothing out there and are depressed

I wish I could read every language that has yet to be deciphered
 
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