Bad Genie

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, welcome back Mr. President

I wish I were more knowledgeable about topical humor

 

[Deleted member 76481]

You now know everything about tropical humor

I wish I wouldn't make typos

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted. You no longer can use the O button

I wish I didn't have wolves looking through my fridge

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Granted, they are nw hwling inside yur washing machine. Try running it n 40°C

I wish I got my ?️ back

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but.......it's actually just another 0

I wish the wolves would just come chill. I'm friendly lol

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Granted, they are n0w chilled inside y0u fridge again

I wish the heatwaves would leave and never came back

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted....you've just wished for another ice age.. oh and your o magically reappeared, kudos

I wish I could survive sub zero temperatures

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, you are now a Batman villain. Prepare to be punched.

Granted, but it only has 0.00000001 megapixels.

That's physically impossible.

I wish Floofy wouldn't defy logic and physics.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are now a Batman villain. Prepare to be punched.

That's physically impossible.

I wish Floofy wouldn't defy logic and physics.

you mean "prepare to be iced"?

Granted floofy is now floofbeyond

I wish I could have come up with a better name

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, you are henceforth known only as "The 7 incher"

I wish more people was as good at me at making up nick names.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you're now the Luna Wolf

I wish I could turn into a jet

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, after holding a long time, I pee you out really fast in a splattering stream.

I wish I could have this fun everyday.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are constantly peeing nonstop

I wish I had a towel

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, it's all an intergalactic hitchhiker like you will ever need.

I wish that the weekend were longer.

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, but the sun never rises and it's constantly raining.

I wish I had an umbrella.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but it does that thing where it constantly flips upwards and you can't fix it

I wish I had waterproof everything

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, including your digestive system.

I wish I had a clothes dryer.

 

[Ghost.River]

Granted, enjoy the heatwave!

I wish I had a Slip N Slide

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but it's always set up where you don't expect it.

I wish I had more time to relax.

 

[Johnterry4658]

Very well, done. The bones in your feet, legs, hands and arms have disappeared.

I wish I was able to communicate with other animals.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, but you cant find any animal that wants to communicate with you

i wish there were more polymaths and intellectuals around in the public sphere today like leonardo davinci, aristotle, david hume, and voltaire

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but their knowledge is several centuries out of date.

I wish for my next meal to be truly excellent.

 

[Sasha6904]

Granted your next meal will be eggs

I wish I could shapeshift into supernatural creatures.

 

[Johnterry4658]

Granted, you are now used as a children's mythical saddle ride in an amusement park.

I wish I knew how to sail a boat.

 

[Bad & Blue]

Granted, you are now a master at delicately placing tiny sails on ships in bottles.

I wish I was taller.

 

[ice bear]

Granted, but you still have human testicles.

I wish I had more furniture.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but it is severely uncomfortable to sit/lie on.

I wish that I could bench press 300 lbs.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted but they always call you a moron. Lol

I wish that I could resurrect the dead.

 

[ice bear]

Granted, but only the Grateful Dead.

I wish my dishes would wash themselves.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, you're now homeless and unemployed.

I wish that I had a harem of female dogs.