Bad Genie

[son1911]

Granted, you now have a moustache.

Family Guy - Speaking Italian

very funny

m.youtube.com

I wish I had my hair.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, here are my moustache clippings, they are now yours

I wish I could turn invisible

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but it's done by light refraction so you either have to stumble around blind or be a pair of floating eyeballs.

I wish we were in a post-scarcity society.

 

[son1911]

Granted, but Postman Pat won't like you for this.

I wish I could see radiowaves.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, the radio grows arms and waves at you

I wish I could talk to plants

 

[son1911]

Granted, you're home is now full of cacti. Talk to them.

I wish cacti exploded when you talk to them.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Gr

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

ahem....
granted, you ass hat....
I wish all lemurs would become cacti

 

[son1911]

I wish @Mikedncn would come back to life!

 

[son1911]

ahem....
granted, you ass hat....
I wish all lemurs would become cacti

Granted, but this cactus is going to whoop your ass.

I wish could digivolve.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but you didn't specify which direction..you are now a seed...

I wish I knew anything about digimon...and could fight a cactus with ease

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I wish @Mikedncn would come back to life!

came back to this notification to see your pfp as a cactus. Had almost taken a bit of my breakfast, would definitely have choked to death from laughing.

 

[son1911]

Granted, but you didn't specify which direction..you are now a seed...

I wish I knew anything about digimon...and could fight a cactus with ease

Granted. Digimons are born from eggs. Here are you boxing gloves. En garde!

I wish I would win.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you win 2nd place!!

I wish winning always felt this amazing

 

[son1911]

Granted, but not for you.

I wish I came first.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted....this is too easy son.....and now all the girls giggle about it

I wish I didn't have such a degenerate mind lol

 

[son1911]

Granted, you now got women on your mind.

Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime ORIGINAL 1970

This video clip was made in 1970, and is the original Mungo Jerry line up that recorded In The Summertime, this is not to be confused with the version that h...

m.youtube.com

I wish the boys could laugh about it too.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, every guy who sees the movie it just laughs and laughs at the child murder

I wish I had a dollar for every time I have blinked in my life

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, you were born without eyelids.

I wish I owned a Harley.

 

[Taopony]

Granted, but it breaks apart after 100 miles

I wish I had a ton of gold

 

[Valkiria]

Granted, but you have to go to take it on your own from an asteroid near Jupiter.

I wish I would live in a cyber punk dystopia.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but you are one of the random mutated forms of vegetation

I wish I could talk to Loki

 

[Valkiria]

Granted, but after 200 years, because Odin locked Loki in a cave for sexual abuse.

I wish I have 6 hands.

 

[son1911]

Granted, you now have 6 cut-off hands.

I wish I had a fireproof dick.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, your dick is now water........

I wish I could turn back time, wish I could find a way........

 

[son1911]

Granted, enjoy your hourglass.

I wish I had a bucket for my liquid dick.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, too bad you didn't notice it is the toy "Mr. Bucket" and has a big hole in the side
I wish I had the rights to the Spiderverse

 

[son1911]

Granted, you now how the rights to "Itsy bitsy spider".

I wish I had a cork for the hole in my Mr Bucket.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, your penis is now a cork

I wish I could make all Mr Buckets hole-less

 

[son1911]

Granted, you now has as many cork penises as there are Mr. Buckets.

I wish my cork penis were so buoyant that I didn't have to use a life vest.