Bad Genie

[ShanoirII]

granted. the criteria were "big, gorgeous, and furry". being a mammal wasnt one of them

Spoiler: here is your furred reptile

i wish the philosophers and polymaths of old came back to life to once again spread their wisdom

 

[son1911]

Granted, the zombie philosopher/polymath apocalypse has been unleashed.

I wish I never had to do the dishes.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted. i give you disposable paper plates, utensils, cups, and pans.

i wish i could identify who was secretly a zoo

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but you accidentally out them every time. ?‍?️

I wish I were more persuasive.

 

[son1911]

Granted, but you can only persuade them to take your money.

I wish I could the use the Force.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, but every action you perform on another object causes an equal reaction onto you

i wish for o m n i s c i e n c e

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, every detail of every thing in the universe is now being processed by your puny human brain.

I wish for a quality beverage, right now.

 

[son1911]

Granted, the quality beverage is very grateful for you giving away your wish like that.

I wish the weather were better.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, because 24-7 thunderstorms would be awesome! (also ref. the best afternoon of my life)

I wish that I'd thought to buy guacamole earlier today.

 

[son1911]

Granted, but you forgot to buy it anyway.

I wish I could to Hogwarts.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but being a muggle you never realised it was there.

I wish that Saturday was pizza day.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, but its papa johns pizza, and they never listen to your orders so ordering from them is like playing the slots.

i wish the moon had native life on it

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but the lack of atmosphere means it won't be there for long.

I wish faster-than-light travel to be possible in my lifetime.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted. someone takes their ftl vehicle out for a ride, hits a tiny pebble, and generates the force of dozens of atomic bombs in the crash

i wish we had a more complete archaeological record

 

[son1911]

Granted, it was in Ukraine. It was bombed by the Russians.

I wish I were a little more sociable.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, your countrymen now find you rude and uncouth.

I wish I were a little more sociable.

 

[son1911]

Granted, black widows can't get enough of you now.

I wish I didn't have to eat.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, now all your food is consumed in a smoothie form that you drink, and is mouthfed to you by mama birds

i wish i could see into the distant future

 

[son1911]

Granted, but it will drive you insane.

I wish I could eat more food with my fingers.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, you now suffer gigantism in your hands.

I wish necessities were effortless.

 

[son1911]

Granted, you are now a buddhist monk.

I wish I could live in a monastery.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, enjoy your vow of celibacy!

I wish the urban sprawl was little less urban and a little less sprawling.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted, now we have suburbs that are built deep into the ground

i wish for a non-papajohns pizza that stayed fresh and regenerated every time i took a slice out

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but it's from that place I got it from last year. ?

I wish that I never got sick.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, you never feel sick nor do you feel ill. You always feel "meh."

I wish I could travel the entire world.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted. you will get on a train whose tracks cover every square foot of the plane(t)


i wish e621 was a real place

 

[son1911]

Granted, but it's location is top secret.

I wish for a vacation.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, but it's a working holiday.

I wish the weekend were longer.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but you have to work through it.

I wish the next person that posts a good day!

 

[son1911]

Thank you! It's better than I deserve.

I wish the next person that posts a nice weekend.