Bad Genie

[son1911]

Granted, but they can only speak Sumerian.

I wish I didn't have to die.

 

[Bloodwolf]

Granted, but your doing life in a penitentiary.
Wish my vision was like a hawks

 

[UR20Z]

Granted - but you're guaranteed to develop cancer somewhere around age 110, give or take a couple years.

I wish my talking pancakes could speak pig-latin.

 

[Taopony]

Granted, but they speak only when you're not around

I wish I could speak every language on Earth

 

[son1911]

Granted, but you're also deaf and blind.

I wish I knew the vowel system in Ancient Egyptian.

 

[Taopony]

Granted, but you have to be mummified first

I wish I had a rhinoceros who was house-broken

 

[UR20Z]

Granted, but you have to be mummified first

I wish I had a rhinoceros who was house-broken

Granted, but he's epileptic as a side-effect of the housebreaking.

I wish Joe Biden's failure as a president wouldn't screw over everybody in America... <sigh> Everybody got their preps ready?

 

[Taopony]

Granted, but you have to eat bugs from now on

I wish I could see into the future

 

[Johnterry4658]

I'll grant your wish, you can see into the future, but you can only see the eventual fate of every living being, blackness.

I wish I was able shape-shift.

 

[Bloodwolf]

Granted, but all you see is the deaths of anyone you pass.

 

[Taopony]

I'll grant your wish, you can see into the future, but you can only see the eventual fate of every living being, blackness.

I wish I was able shape-shift.

Granted, but you can't shape-shift at will, only randomly

I wish I had a coffee mug that refilled itself

 

[K9trucker]

Granted,but it only refills itself after you spill it on yourself.

I wish i had supermans powers

 

[UR20Z]

Granted,but it only refills itself after you spill it on yourself.

I wish i had supermans powers

Granted, but your underwear is green kryptonite, and for some reason, you can't manage to take it off, no matter how you try.

I wish donut holes were a negative-calorie food.

 

[Johnterry4658]

Strange wish, but okay, granted. You lose all muscle mass after biting into that succulent donut.

I wish I was able to fly.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but you're unable to control it.

I wish that I could talk to the animals.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but you disagree with every one of their political views

I wish I could have lucid dreams

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but you can never wake up from them.

I wish that there were no suffering in the world.

 

[Bloodwolf]

Granted, but the absence of suffering leads to an absence of pleasure.
I wish I was taller.?

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Just as a moderator sidenote... Since there's already a thread with the same premise, I've moved all the replies to the previously existing thread.

Carry on...

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

lol, i searched high and low for wishes, never considered Genies

 

[UR20Z]

Granted, but the absence of suffering leads to an absence of pleasure.
I wish I was taller.?

Granted - You're now 73 feet, 4 inches tall. Don't forget to duck for doorways...

I wish the weather would figure out how to read a calendar - this is JUNE, fergawdsake, not January!
(WA weather this year has been bizarre - Normally by this time of year, the rain should have stopped about 3 weeks or a month ago, and the temp ought to be hitting 70 or better 3 days out of 5. As of this moment, it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, and the temp is a "balmy" 54 degrees... WTF?!?!?)

 

[Bloodwolf]

Granted - You're now 73 feet, 4 inches tall. Don't forget to duck for doorways...

I wish the weather would figure out how to read a calendar - this is JUNE, fergawdsake, not January!
(WA weather this year has been bizarre - Normally by this time of year, the rain should have stopped about 3 weeks or a month ago, and the temp ought to be hitting 70 or better 3 days out of 5. As of this moment, it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, and the temp is a "balmy" 54 degrees... WTF?!?!?)

Lucky you.?

 

[K9trucker]

Granted - You're now 73 feet, 4 inches tall. Don't forget to duck for doorways...

I wish the weather would figure out how to read a calendar - this is JUNE, fergawdsake, not January!
(WA weather this year has been bizarre - Normally by this time of year, the rain should have stopped about 3 weeks or a month ago, and the temp ought to be hitting 70 or better 3 days out of 5. As of this moment, it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, and the temp is a "balmy" 54 degrees... WTF?!?!?)

Granted,now everyday is in june & its 120*f

I wish i lived on my own private island

 

[jakem31]

Granted, wilson says hi(but only in your mind cause he is a vollyball.)

I wish i had a big house and lots of land.

 

[UR20Z]

Granted, wilson says hi(but only in your mind cause he is a vollyball.)

I wish i had a big house and lots of land.

Granted - you're now an inmate at Angola State Prison serving 37 consecutive life terms.

I wish clickbait/scaremonger youtubers would vanish in a puff of smoke, never to be heard from again.

 

[K9trucker]

Granted,but it is the smoke monster from lost and forever surrounds you

I wish to have thanos glove with all 6 infinity stones

 

[UR20Z]

Granted,but it is the smoke monster from lost and forever surrounds you

I wish to have thanos glove with all 6 infinity stones

Granted, but the batteries are dead and nobody knows what it takes to recharge 'em.

I wish gas was significantly cheaper than $5.58/gallon
(Just got home from a store run and fill-up - the gas cost twice as much as the groceries - and I only put in 11 gallons! Thanks, Joe... <eyeroll>)

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but the cost of electricity goes up 400%.

I wish I had a space craft with unlimited fuel.

 

[UR20Z]

Granted, but the cost of electricity goes up 400%.

I wish I had a space craft with unlimited fuel.

Granted - but your ship runs on coal, and only has space on board for 8 pounds.

I wish Biden would lose (what's left of) his mind while in a meeting with Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi, and Diane Feinstein, assault one of his secret service guys, taking his gun, and waste all three of them before turning the gun on himself.

 

[Cajlatsa]

Granted but not in America

I wish I could buy Twitter off Elon