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Bad Genie

Granted - but you're guaranteed to develop cancer somewhere around age 110, give or take a couple years.

I wish my talking pancakes could speak pig-latin.
 
Granted, but they speak only when you're not around

I wish I could speak every language on Earth
 
Equitatus6 said:
Granted, but you have to be mummified first

I wish I had a rhinoceros who was house-broken
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Granted, but he's epileptic as a side-effect of the housebreaking.

I wish Joe Biden's failure as a president wouldn't screw over everybody in America... <sigh> Everybody got their preps ready?
 
I'll grant your wish, you can see into the future, but you can only see the eventual fate of every living being, blackness.

I wish I was able shape-shift.
 
Johnterry4658 said:
I'll grant your wish, you can see into the future, but you can only see the eventual fate of every living being, blackness.

I wish I was able shape-shift.
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Granted, but you can't shape-shift at will, only randomly

I wish I had a coffee mug that refilled itself
 
K9trucker said:
Granted,but it only refills itself after you spill it on yourself.

I wish i had supermans powers
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Granted, but your underwear is green kryptonite, and for some reason, you can't manage to take it off, no matter how you try.

I wish donut holes were a negative-calorie food.
 
Bloodwolf said:
Granted, but the absence of suffering leads to an absence of pleasure.
I wish I was taller.?
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Granted - You're now 73 feet, 4 inches tall. Don't forget to duck for doorways...

I wish the weather would figure out how to read a calendar - this is JUNE, fergawdsake, not January!
(WA weather this year has been bizarre - Normally by this time of year, the rain should have stopped about 3 weeks or a month ago, and the temp ought to be hitting 70 or better 3 days out of 5. As of this moment, it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, and the temp is a "balmy" 54 degrees... WTF?!?!?)
 
UR20Z said:
Granted - You're now 73 feet, 4 inches tall. Don't forget to duck for doorways...

I wish the weather would figure out how to read a calendar - this is JUNE, fergawdsake, not January!
(WA weather this year has been bizarre - Normally by this time of year, the rain should have stopped about 3 weeks or a month ago, and the temp ought to be hitting 70 or better 3 days out of 5. As of this moment, it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, and the temp is a "balmy" 54 degrees... WTF?!?!?)
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Lucky you.?
 
UR20Z said:
Granted - You're now 73 feet, 4 inches tall. Don't forget to duck for doorways...

I wish the weather would figure out how to read a calendar - this is JUNE, fergawdsake, not January!
(WA weather this year has been bizarre - Normally by this time of year, the rain should have stopped about 3 weeks or a month ago, and the temp ought to be hitting 70 or better 3 days out of 5. As of this moment, it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, and the temp is a "balmy" 54 degrees... WTF?!?!?)
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Granted,now everyday is in june & its 120*f

I wish i lived on my own private island
 
Granted, wilson says hi(but only in your mind cause he is a vollyball.)

I wish i had a big house and lots of land.
 
jakem31 said:
Granted, wilson says hi(but only in your mind cause he is a vollyball.)

I wish i had a big house and lots of land.
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Granted - you're now an inmate at Angola State Prison serving 37 consecutive life terms.

I wish clickbait/scaremonger youtubers would vanish in a puff of smoke, never to be heard from again.
 
Granted,but it is the smoke monster from lost and forever surrounds you

I wish to have thanos glove with all 6 infinity stones
 
K9trucker said:
Granted,but it is the smoke monster from lost and forever surrounds you

I wish to have thanos glove with all 6 infinity stones
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Granted, but the batteries are dead and nobody knows what it takes to recharge 'em.

I wish gas was significantly cheaper than $5.58/gallon
(Just got home from a store run and fill-up - the gas cost twice as much as the groceries - and I only put in 11 gallons! Thanks, Joe... <eyeroll>)
 
Granted, but the cost of electricity goes up 400%.

I wish I had a space craft with unlimited fuel.
 
FloofyNewfie said:
Granted, but the cost of electricity goes up 400%.

I wish I had a space craft with unlimited fuel.
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Granted - but your ship runs on coal, and only has space on board for 8 pounds.

I wish Biden would lose (what's left of) his mind while in a meeting with Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi, and Diane Feinstein, assault one of his secret service guys, taking his gun, and waste all three of them before turning the gun on himself.
 
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