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What would you do if you were caught having sex with animals?

humananimal said:
Your father apparently accepted that you fucked cows. So he chose to keep your secret.
If he did the cows too he ought to talk to you about it. So probably not, just accepted how you are ?
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Or perhaps he simply turned a blind eye, like some would. Either way, he was lucky, I wouldn't get that if that was me ?
 
1Ostwind1 said:
The answer might be: "I'm just doing a vaginal exam. Why am I using a penis? Because my fingers aren't long enough.??
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My mind went there some years ago apros a goat I needed to treat with cream as deep as possible?

But I never considered any third party would buy it if even I knew it was an excuse Hahaha
 
Goattobeloved said:
Someone, time ago said:

When someone says "It is not what it looks like" and "I can explain it" I can asure you two things:
1 - It is exactly what it looks like
2 - No, you can't

?
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Couldn’t find it, so I rewrite by memory :

A man was sobbing at the bar, and a friend came and asked, “what has happened”?
He said, “there is something, you simply can‘t explain”
”I had to milk a cow separated from the others because she was given medicine. She knocked my cap off several times with her tail, so I tied it with a string. Began to milk her and she knocked over the bucket, so I tied her foot to the post. But then she knocked it over with her right foot. I then tied it to the right post with my belt.
Then my trousers dropped down and just at that moment my wife walked into the stable!
There is something you simply can‘t explain!
 
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humananimal said:
Couldn’t find it, so I rewrite by memory :

A man was sobbing at the bar, and a friend came and asked, “what has happened”?
He said, “there is something, you simply can‘t explain”
”I had to milk a cow seperated from the others because she had been on medication. She repeatedly knocked of my cap with her tail, so I tied it with a string. Began to milk her and she knocked over the bucket, so I tied her foot to the post. But then she knocked it over with her right foot. I then tied it to the right post with my belt.
Then my trousers dropped down and just at that moment my wife walked into the stable!
There is something you simply can‘t explain!
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I remember that one recreated on public TV years ago.
One farmer playing the joke for some sort of "funnies home videos" type of program at the time.
 
zetababe said:
This is why I’m no longer a fence hopper. Someone came out with a gun and I ran like hell
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Yeah I agree with Dogluver
That's what you get, and honestly it’s a miracle you’re alive? if I caught someone having sex with an animal of mine they wouldn’t get away…
 
As I wrote in another thread, there is very big differences between countries.
In my country - unless it was in self defence - then I would be charged and convicted for (attempted) murder if I went out and shot a fencehopper.
If the hopper survives he would be charged for sexual misconduct if it could be proved.
 
Yeah for context I was a lonely horny teenager and it was a family attraction park with a bunch of animals. I wasn’t able to get close to the critters but definitely acted suspiciously. This happened in Australia so it’s pretty rare to get shot here but I tried to learn my lesson. I’d ideally love to build an intimate relationship with an animal now and see what transpires.
 
I nearly got caught a few years back by my brother but was able to play it off as I typically wrestled with my dog so it didn’t look too out of the ordinary
 
I almost did get caught years ago. Heard someone open the door a room over and never in my life have a covered up and ran so fast ?‍?
 
The other day I heard an internet meme, the wife caught her husband fucking a pig, she said that her husband was eating the pig's pussy and said that he hit the guy so much... lol... it was really funny. I don't know if it was true but it was funny.
 
erphy said:
I would say that I tripped and fell into the dog this way. I just so happened to have a hard on from watching human porn, its so crazy right?! Just glad everyone is OK!
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I was once asked what those scratches on my back were, ... I fell mom... lol
 
DobieDogo said:
me and my buddy got caught fucking a dude’s mare when we were teenagers… Thankfully I had already nutted in her and was rubbing her cheeks while waiting for my friend to finish in her but when the owner opened the doors to the barn at 1:30 AM in the morning and yelled “what’s going on in here“ my buddy slipped out of her and fell to the ground and then time seemed to freeze for a moment before we realized what was happening and then we both came to our senses and bolted out the side door to her stall. I don’t think I’ve ever ran faster in my life!
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I was imagining the scene!!!! lol
 
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