Top things not to say during sex

[Painted Pony]

Positive? For what species?

 

[Tgzoogirl]

I forgot to tell you, I'm HIV.

 

[Painted Pony]

It was still good for me.

 

[Tgzoogirl]

It was still good for me.

That's all that matters.

 

[Painted Pony]

That's all that matters.

Indeed it is, babe.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Your chest is non-existent, and your ass is flat as walls. But come here girl, come suck daddy's balls!

 

[Pillar]

What, are you a child?

 

[Pillar]

''Bbrrrrrrrmmm, here comes the airplane''

Any bet some guy wearing diapers already said that! Bahahahahaha!

 

[Pillar]

"Here comes the choo-choo train!"

 

[Pillar]

Baby does not want that bottle. Waah!

 

[Pillar]

You pig!

 

[Tgzoogirl]

Can't you hurry? I have to go see my other girlfriend.

 

[EstridLes]

Really? Get a clue it's not that hard.

 

[Pillar]

Really? Get a clue it's not that hard.

Can you please explain it to me? I am a dumbass.

Can't you hurry? I have to go see my other girlfriend.

If I was dating (fat chance now) I would actually say (and do) this. Gotta keep your relations open, if it's closed only, I'm moving on.

Now, what not to say...

You're really turning me off, do you know that?

 

[Painted Pony]

You're really turning me off, do you know that?

I've been trying for a year, and you're just now starting to get the vibe?

 

[Pillar]

You know I won't last more than two minutes, right?

 

[Painted Pony]

I might argue your stamina is better than mine!

 

[Pillar]

I didn't know you could be such a creep!

 

[Painted Pony]

I didn't know you could be such a creep!

I don't try to be, it comes natural.

And besides, "creep" is an outdated term.

 

[MaeveHart01]

"Don't worry about making me cum, my dog will take care of that later"
Apologies if this ones been said already ?

 

[Painted Pony]

"...my mare will take care of that later."

 

[swampy]

I think that new lube you used was super glue!

 

[Painted Pony]

Oh, crap!

 

[Pillar]

I think that new lube you used was super glue!

Does this mean my penis will be locked in to that vagina for the next hour? Hope you'll like it! That's sweet - a human knot!

 

[420Fatty]

I'm gonna rape a baby into you.

 

[Pillar]

You make me soft. I'm going home. You do it yourself.

 

[MrCLASSnKINK]

Stop

 

[420Fatty]

Before we go any further, Can you sign this consent app?

 

[MaeveHart01]

Did I leave the stove on?

 

[Tgzoogirl]

Here, let me put this paper bag over your head.