Top things not to say during sex

[knotinterested]

When will you guys learn

 

[EstridLes]

Want me to show you how it works?

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Stop posting and fuck me

 

[EstridLes]

I think you read the manual upside down?

 

[mares4me]

I love you more than words could say

 

[EstridLes]

Like father like son!

 

[Erja]

Stop watching Cornation street and get on all four.

 

[Erja]

You look like a seal down there, smell like one too

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Do I smell a Big Mac on your breath?

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

No it’s kippers

 

[Darkowl]

Fuck the bag fell off

 

[K9funfan]

Be right back, I just threw up in my mouth.

 

[Erja]

Stop talking about your mom

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

I’m glad I got the all clear about my aids test

 

[MareButtUddrrLovrr]

Oh crap, I need to poop.

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

I’ll just pick the scabs off first ?

 

[Erja]

I have this itch under my left ball, could you ….. ???

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

No I don’t have any junior sized condoms

 

[Erja]

Frontdoor ? .... backdoor ??? put up a sign please

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

My husband will be back in a minute

 

[Erja]

Get under the bed, i wanne play with myself

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Turn the FUCKING light off

 

[Erja]

lunch break

 

[knotinterested]

Here use some breath spray

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Damn, your snatch smells like the shit house Door on a tuna boat.

 

[EstridLes]

Why aren't you hard?

 

[CK4957 STD]

Sorry...but I think I picked the wrong guy to be my hero.

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Having sex with you reminds me of House Hunters on HGTV; it’s going to happen whether I want to or not, and once it’s all said and done, it’s nothing but regret and self loathing for months.

 

[Darkowl]

Turn on the music I don't want to hear you

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Guy: Oooohh! May I record this on my phone?
Girl: Pull your phone out and I pull your dick off!