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Deep quotes you heard or made up?

"How? Well, when 2 hydrogen atoms love each other very much, they bond with an oxygen atom and..."
 
"There are 2 kinds of people in this world. The kind with loaded guns, and the kind who open doors. You, open doors."
 
"Of all the creatures, man is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he's the one that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures, but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot." - Mark Twain
 
The HUSTLER Dictionary defines "crying shame as:
when a man goes through one inch of hair, then
one inch of pussy and runs out of peter".
 
Time for a little laughter ... You need to think around "old people". A tale from the wild, wild West ...

"An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.
As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

He looked at the woman and laughed,
"Hey old woman, have you ever danced?"
The woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... Never really wanted to"

A crowd has gathered as the young gunslinger grinned and said, "Well you old bag, you're gonna dance now!", and started shooting at the old woman's feet.

The old woman prospector - not wanting to have her toes blown off- started hopping around. Many were laughing.

When his last bullet was fired, the gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.


The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.

The gunslinger heard the sounds too, and turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched tensely as he stared at the woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in her hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No m'am, but I've always wanted too"

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid."
 
The soil you stand upon holds the recycled remains of innumerable corpses.
No matter where you go on the surface of the world, you can be certain that a life ended there in the past.
You have surely trodden over a thousand skeletons unawares.
The Earth itself is a graveyard. A mass tomb.
 
Some people take the elevator up, some run up the stairs, some walk up the stairs...but not Spiderman...he blazes his own way up.
 
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