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Just gotta reply...

Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
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Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
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Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Hello and welcome to the forum.

To all the new members of the forum in the introductions section. Bam! 16 counted posts right there! ?
 
140499

Wow, a lot of activity here! Welcome to the newly arrived floofs! ? ❤️

@caboose : I've read your story before some other work which had to be done.

Your story, which is written finely (in terms of the development of it) and with an interesting character building, is written quite well (in terms of writing style), the typos or grammar errors are (as far as I can analyze this as a non-native English speaker) ways below the common amounts in the story category, it offers an adequate spacing between the sentences and clear differing as to recognize the specific communication ways that are used. (y)

Only in regards of the free lines near the end (between the "picture send" notices as example) I would say that one is enough, it creates quite a big empty room which distracts from a smooth reading over multiple lines.


@Mare Lover 1975 : I can fully understand you. And if it were possible, I would smack the shit out over the internet lines of all those posting or praising such crap. Especially those participating in it - hours of smacking until they forget that they even are alive. ?‍♂️ I still feel unwell from analyzing it. Reading the initial thread I didn't assume that it would be this bad and continuing to get worse.
 
YanchaOkami said:
140499

@caboose : I've read your story before some other work which had to be done.

Your story, which is written finely (in terms of the development of it) and with an interesting character building, is written quite well (in terms of writing style), the typos or grammar errors are (as far as I can analyze this as a non-native English speaker) ways below the common amounts in the story category, it offers an adequate spacing between the sentences and clear differing as to recognize the specific communication ways that are used. (y)

Only in regards of the free lines near the end (between the "picture send" notices as example) I would say that one is enough, it creates quite a big empty room which distracts from a smooth reading over multiple lines.
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140502

Thank you so much for the review. I hate how the formatting ended up I did my best to fix it but the spacing is still not how I would like. The Picture send replies were kinda designed to mimic how pictures would look like on a chat phone window. I was trying to dynamically space things in a way that tactile pulls you into the scene.

Thanks again for the review I really appreciate seeing how people feel about it.
 
140505

Mare Lover 1975 said:
.. was definitely such a time.
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Absolutely. How people don't see the distressed looks and tries to leave such a situation, that's shocking. Instead they like it. What the fuck.

caboose said:
.. There's alien technology in here and they are hiding it

I am convinced the tech is hidden in this thread
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Nah, I'm not participating that much in there, don't worry. :ROFLMAO:

caboose said:
Thanks again for the review I really appreciate seeing how people feel about it.
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Not a problem! The topic of "a young adult female human" doesn't interest me much, but regarding the story and what / how it happens is - even more compared to what mostly gets written on those story sub fora - realistic. As well as described in a neutral way - without an explicit focus on "erotic" ingredients. At least in this first chapter.

If you would want a grammar / spelling check, I saw a few small mistakes, but I don't think it's fair or necessary to throw them around, as they don't play a role in how well this story is readable.

And it is well readable, as such if you don't "need" to hear those from me, I'll just keep on ignoring them.
 
140513

Exactly.. due to consummating too much toxic stuff. :ROFLMAO: Chocolate is toxic even for humans, just their metabolization keeps it on acceptable levels.

But not only humans, as well those rodents which lived in their vicinity for at least 50.000 years+ and are specialized on stealing / eating whichever food the humans lay to waste or leave unlocked. Mice and rats have an astonishingly high metabolizing of theobromine.
 
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