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I still feel unwell from analyzing it. Reading the initial thread I didn't assume that it would be this bad and continuing to get worse.
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@caboose : I've read your story before some other work which had to be done.
Your story, which is written finely (in terms of the development of it) and with an interesting character building, is written quite well (in terms of writing style), the typos or grammar errors are (as far as I can analyze this as a non-native English speaker) ways below the common amounts in the story category, it offers an adequate spacing between the sentences and clear differing as to recognize the specific communication ways that are used.
Only in regards of the free lines near the end (between the "picture send" notices as example) I would say that one is enough, it creates quite a big empty room which distracts from a smooth reading over multiple lines.
Absolutely. How people don't see the distressed looks and tries to leave such a situation, that's shocking. Instead they like it. What the fuck.
Nah, I'm not participating that much in there, don't worry.
Not a problem! The topic of "a young adult female human" doesn't interest me much, but regarding the story and what / how it happens is - even more compared to what mostly gets written on those story sub fora - realistic. As well as described in a neutral way - without an explicit focus on "erotic" ingredients. At least in this first chapter.
