Bad Genie

[son1911]

Granted, but you accidentally kill John Lennon.

I wish I had a kimono.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, it is way too small so you end up using it as a hand towel

I wish I could win that dam last to post race

 

[KitsuneMichiru]

You won... For a second

I wish I didn't have to worry about bills anymore.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted even though you skipped me...you no longer worry about bills....welcome to homelessness

I wish I had enough money to gift my parents a house

 

[KitsuneMichiru]

Here's enough money for a doll house for them.

I wish I could type faster.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but there are horrid grammatical errors every time you write something

I wish I could turn a dollhouse into a mansion

 

[son1911]

Granted, you can shrink people to fit into dollhouses.

I wish I had pants.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, same as with the kimono...sadge lol

I wish I could paint better than any artist ever

 

[son1911]

Granted, but only in monochrome.

I wish I were small enough to fit into my kimono and pants.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you also have to move into a dollhouse

I wish I could do a barrel roll

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Granted, but it will be at this time of day, in this part of country, localised entirely within your kitchen

I wish to be a better cook

Ed: Damn these refreshes, @Mikedncn is granted barelrolls, but you can roll only inside that barrel

 

[Taopony]

Granted, but it's so good that everyone keeps bugging you to make them food

I wish the next person wouldn't ruin my wish

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you didn't wish for anything really so........

I wish that i had 100 wishes

 

[son1911]

Granted, but due to inflation each wish is only worth 0.000364 wishes.

I wish I were a MOD.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are a Monkey Ordering Donuts...you're welcome

I wish I could do sign language

 

[son1911]

Granted, but it's a conlang and you're its only speaker.

I wish I could a sword.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you can a sword..whatever that means I am sure it's not what you wanted

I wish I could speak to the dead

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, but you can no longer speak with the living.

I wish I was taller.

 

[son1911]

Granted, you got yourself a Marge Simpson hair.

I wish I never made any writing mistakes.

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, but you can only write in ancient sumerian.

I wish the genie above me turned my hair back the way it was before my last wish.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

granted, you are short again

I wish I could actually write and understand ancient sumerian

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, you have been dead for 5,000 years.

I wish you all a wonderful summer.

 

[son1911]

Granted, but we won't enjoy it.

I wish I were a dictator.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are a very cruel lemur king...making everyone move it move it even if they don't want to

I wish I could do a backflip

 

[son1911]

Granted, you are now a gymnast. With a sexy gymnast bod. Living in my basement. ?

I wish I had a basement. ?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

granted.....shit another one of your traps!!!! luckily I was prepared and the FBI are on the way

I wish i had called the FBI

 

[son1911]

Granted, you have now called a Former Bodybuilder Instructor.

I wish I could speak Finnish.

 

[K9trucker]

Granted,you are now the only finnish speaker in the world

I wish i was a supervillan

 

[son1911]

Granted, your biggest weakness is you ego and your cape.

I wish people stopped getting tattoos.

 

[K9trucker]

Granted,now everyone gets branded like cattle

I wish i had telekenesis