Top things not to say during sex

[oldgoat75]

if you were a $100 whore i'd gladly pay $5.50

 

[Rick]

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. ?

 

[Rick]

I asked my wife, “On a scale from one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?”
She said, “You know I’m no good at fractions.”

 

[Rick]

I told my girlfriend that unless she expressed her feelings and told me what she liked, I wouldn’t be able to please her. So she said, “Get off me.”

 

[Rick]

On second thought let’s turn the light off.

 

[Rick]

I’m sobering up and you’re getting ugly.

 

[Rick]

What’s your name again?

 

[saddlebum66]

I told the judge the other woman was a bitch! All he did was laugh!

 

[Furf2b2b]

ARF ? SO ? YOU like TOOTSIE ROLL'S ? Just KEEP RIMMING HIS K9 TailHole !! HE'll give YOU one SOON !

 

[Zebby]

Let's get your sister to join in

 

[Zebby]

*checks my watch* I'm afraid our time has come to an end for this session...kindly send in your sister on your way out? Thank-you.

A colleague got to party with a working girl in North America. I think what she said was complete downer for him. "Move over honey, I can't see the TV"

 

[oldgoat75]

i'm bored

 

[saddlebum66]

Say....are you gonna eat the rest of that apple?

 

[oldgoat75]

thanks for the quickie ,you can clean up the mess,i'm outa here

 

[Alpha Cat]

Her: I have HIV.

Me: What the fuck?!

 

[oldgoat75]

i'm closing my eyes because your face is putting me off

 

[Furf2b2b]

ARF ? WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING PAPER BAG , you need to wear it for the vid's , Bitch

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Get ready for the best 10 and a half second of your lifetime, baby!

 

[saddlebum66]

Why two bags? One's for you to wear.....the othrrs for me, in case YOURS falls off

 

[oldgoat75]

Yaaaawwwwnnnn

 

[saddlebum66]

That was fun, dear. . Got change for a five?

 

[oldgoat75]

Is burning natural ??

 

[saddlebum66]

Doll....I think you need to wait til the hair grows back

 

[Kristy]

NEXT!

 

[saddlebum66]

NEXT!

Lol....its NOT to say< grinnnn>
"Hmmm....thought I was wearing a condom...."

 

[Anonimka2]

Isn't today your grandmas birthday?

 

[saddlebum66]

Oops

 

[oldgoat75]

if that's your husband home early he is going to have to wait his turn

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Therapy...

◙ Expensive
◙ It is time consuming
◙ It will make you cry

Sex with me...

◙ Free
◙ It'll be over before you know it
◙ You'll probably just cry afterwards

 

[saddlebum66]

Of course it will fit there.... Bigger things have come out, darling