Top things not to say during sex

[oldgoat75]

what do you mean your wife doesn't know you like screwing men,,really looking forward to the look on her face when i tell her.

 

[Mammal-lover]

The dogs name. Most men wouldn't like hearing that lol

 

[MareButtUddrrLovrr]

Put it in my eyes.

 

[420Fatty]

I can't wait to infect you.

 

[oldgoat75]

Sorry ,I thought you said ''ass me first'' anyway since i'm already in stop screaming.

 

[saddlebum66]

When you said "Friends with Bennies, Dear, I didn't know you meant Bennie Carson, Bennie Crump, AND Bennie Franklin....How'd you dig HIM up, anyway?"

 

[FloofyNewfie]

I was planning to creampie my dog, but she wasn't in the mood, so I guess I'll make do with you instead.

 

[oldgoat75]

Don't be sad,yes it's small,yes it's limp but you have a nice smile

 

[Doggo513]

my mom was better

 

[Rev216]

Never had sex so for all I know any one of these comments could actually be a turn on ?

 

[Dgfker]

Your dad was better.

 

[Espedus]

Do you like it? ???

 

[420Fatty]

Bitch if you tell anyone about this I will come back, Kill everyone and make you watch.

 

[oldgoat75]

never could get the blood stains off this mattress

 

[Rev216]

never could get the blood stains off this mattress

Okay well that one is just true for me from my girl going into heat

 

[FloofyNewfie]

You soon know what it's like to burn while peeing.

 

[Rev216]

You soon know what it's like to burn while peeing.

If it means a night with you I'm willing to burn ?

 

[FloofyNewfie]

If it means a night with you I'm willing to burn ?

Remember kids, it's not Gonorrhea, it's "Lé Spicý Pişs"???

 

[Rev216]

Remember kids, it's not Gonorrhea, it's "Lé Spicý Pişs"???

I'm a Firecrotch anyways ?

 

[iph]

dont worry, this wont take long anyway, footballs kicking off in a minute or 2... been looking forward to the footy all week so vome on lets get it over an done with

 

[iph]

ive had that rash for months dont worry

 

[saddlebum66]

Now, darlin',....its nowhere near as big as you think it is......

 

[Zebby]

Just wait until you try the elephant.

 

[CK4957 STD]

- How many people know about us and about this?

- Only you and I.

- Keep it that way. Don't refer to our arrangement by phone or email, ever.

 

[Kristy]

*wriggles out of my strapon*
Tell your hubby I'm sorry about those bruises on your inner thighs...

 

[saddlebum66]

Sometimes, dear one, you just have to stick the pillow under your ass....close your eyes....and think of England. Thats what I'm doing right now.....

 

[TheDarkOneAgain]

Honey pass the remote would you?

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Guy: Fuck!! Shit!!
Woman: What?! What happened?!
Guy: My testicles fell out again.

 

[oldgoat75]

i think my penile implant just ruptured

 

[saddlebum66]

Sorry, love....Im only doing this because the guys asked me to" take one for the team..."