Top things not to say during sex

[Painted Pony]

*giggle*

(Actually, my last human lover and I would be watching Three's Company while I mounted her from behind, and we'd laugh and carry on until the end credits, when I'd finish her up. Good times.)

 

[Stoli]

Are you picking your nose?

 

[Pillar]

Are you picking your nose?

Yeah I am.

 

[Stoli]

Yeah I am.

Hey baby, let's do nasal

 

[swampy]

hey theres a condom hanging out of you and I still have mine on.

 

[Pillar]

Hey baby, let's do nasal

But you don't have a pencil dick, and I'm not into men.

 

[Stoli]

But you don't have a pencil dick, and I'm not into men.

I meant don't say that during sex lol

I'm not gay I just like getting fucked by dogs... I shouldn't say that during sex either

 

[Pillar]

Are you a hermaphrodite?

 

[Furf2b2b]

Are you a hermaphrodite?

ARF ? You like K9 too then !! MMMMM

 

[Pillar]

Eww, toenail fungus.

 

[Stoli]

Are you coming or having another stroke?

Don't turn the lights on, it's that time of the month.

Define "incest"

 

[NorthernViking]

"Do i have shit on my dick? Well it must be yours so you better clean up your mess"

 

[Pillar]

This is boring, I'm going to read the newspaper.

 

[PrivateJerker]

Sorry, I nodded off. Oh we're still going?

 

[Kynophile]

My grandpa taught me this trick when I was 9!

 

[Pillar]

I'm going to go back to picking my nose now.

 

[Painted Pony]

What? I didn't feel anything...

 

[Reconscope]

My gosh your doing it in the ear!!! (Wife to guy)

 

[Pillar]

My gosh your doing it in the ear!!! (Wife to guy)

I guess that makes me a mindfucker, huh?

 

[Pillar]

Why does it feel like there's something crawling on my dick?

 

[Beastman666]

Shhhhh.......go back to sleep

 

[KingHiddenone]

Dad? Is that you?

 

[Pillar]

Hail Satan.

 

[KingHiddenone]

Top of the morning to you laddies

 

[Pillar]

Top of the morning to you laddies

Where's me drink?

 

[ZooDogLover320]

My dog knows 2 commands. "wanna get your dick out?" and "wanna go for a walk?" Well, just don't say the second one while knotted.

 

[Pillar]

Fuck me? No, fuck you.

 

[Pillar]

The itsy bitsy spider... ROFL

 

[swampy]

Is that a mole or is it a tick

 

[Pillar]

Don't tell me that's a rat in your fridge.