Top things not to say during sex

[FloofyNewfie]

Did someone light an M-80 in your pussy, because you're a disaster down there!

 

[Pillar]

What is this? You can call the next door neighbor, I'm done here.

 

[420Fatty]

Don't tell your parents.

 

[Pillar]

Jesus Christ, your pussy is making my dick itch!

 

[Furf2b2b]

You'll need a Crane to get that up , MR. Limpdick

 

[Pillar]

Hurry up, I wanna get to sleep.

 

[420Fatty]

Did you see the Kobe crash video?

 

[Pillar]

Did you see the Kobe crash video?

Yikes.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

I have't washed my dick in a month, so I could match the smell of your pussy.

 

[420Fatty]

Can we go back to foreplay? At least that was fun.

 

[CetaceanLover23]

(A fat couple)
Guy: I can't find your fuckin' pussy!

 

[420Fatty]

(Things not to say when fingering an SSBBW and realizing there's no physical way the two of you could fuck)

"Yeah, it's getting late, lets just go to sleep." (Based on true events)

 

[CK4957 STD]

I would say you're going to enjoy what´s happening next, but you'd know I was lying..

 

[FloofyNewfie]

(A fat couple)
Guy: I can't find your fuckin' pussy!

Old Guy: I can't find your fuckin' pussy, Margaret!

Old Girl: Yeah well, I can't exactly find your dick either, Harold!

Old guy: Well let's just slap then two areas together and maybe we'll find a connection!?

 

[Pillar]

I would say you're going to enjoy what´s happening next, but you'd know I was lying..

To add onto this:

...can we call it quits while we still can?

 

[Knottypat]

Can the dog fuck me instead.

 

[Pillar]

Go call your ex, I'll have the dog instead.

 

[Zlob1960]

The dog is bigger and kisses better than you

 

[Pillar]

I just don't want to fuck anymore.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Pay no mind to the green slime that's coming out of my dick. It's been doing that for 4 months now, so it's normal for me.

 

[puch44]

That's never happened to me before

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Yo pussy is too moldy
And yo ass is too grody
But what them lips do
Come on girl, show me.??

MC Newfie out! *drops mic*

 

[420Fatty]

"Are you fucking serious? We have to go to your parents again?!"

 

[Pillar]

"Are you fucking serious? We have to go to your parents again?!"

Mommy says play nice.

 

[CK4957 STD]

Look, darling, if you think all you´ve gotta do is nod your head, confirming what I´ve already said, then we´ve
got a problem.

 

[Zlob1960]

Mum said if the three of us play nicely we can play the lollipop game with dad tonight

 

[Kynophile]

Stolen shamelessly from Scrubs:

"Have you gotten thicker? You feel like you've gotten thicker."

or

"Mmm... you smell like my mom."

 

[I<3horses]

I wish you still would be alive.

 

[Zlob1960]

You used to be more flexible when you were breathing

 

[I<3horses]

Funny, you taste exactly like my stallion down there