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Deep quotes you heard or made up?

"If the police did they job, nobody would hate 'em. Ain't nobody made a song called Fuck the Fire Department"

Partially true, but also very funny ?
 
dartel said:
"I think the dead are beyond caring about what people think about them."
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I was thinking about that not long ago. I was putting away something a little bit zooey and suddenly thought, "If I drop dead tomorrow, my parents will find this when looking through my stuff."

I was concerned for minute before I realised, I'll be dead then. It's a little late to be concerned about anything at that point. Then I laughed, because imagining the look on their faces was absolutely priceless.
 
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YIMBY said:
I was thinking about that not long ago. I was putting away something a little bit zooey and suddenly thought, "If I drop dead tomorrow, my parent's will find this when looking through my stuff."

I was concerned for minute before I realised, I'll be dead then. It's a little late to be concerned about anything at that point. Then I laughed, because imagining the look on their faces was absolutely priceless.
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There's a question among OKCupid's thousands of profile building questions "Would your family/loved ones be surprised going through your possessions after your death?".
 
YIMBY said:
I was thinking about that not long ago. I was putting away something a little bit zooey and suddenly thought, "If I drop dead tomorrow, my parents will find this when looking through my stuff."

I was concerned for minute before I realised, I'll be dead then. It's a little late to be concerned about anything at that point. Then I laughed, because imagining the look on their faces was absolutely priceless.
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Another ZV member posted about when he fucked a cow.
She was on her side, so in a sort of missionary intercourse he was between her legs with his dick in her pussy, fondling her udder and licking her teats, she strechted her legs (probably enjoying it) and squeezed him.
Out of breath he thought that it was the ultimate way to end everything.
I agree - nothing better than to die while fucking a cow
 
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dartel said:
"Do you know, Gods of Death love apples?"
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Yes... Yes I do, well that's certainly what I thought when I climbed on an ex-race horse one day, and saw my life flash before my eyes when something spooked him and he took off through the bush.
 
"There is now a Starbucks in my pants"

"I have never fucked a 10. But I have f*cked five two's. And I think that should count"

"I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people"

"Whenever I see a large crowd people, I often wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies."
 
dartel said:
"The shop is the way it is because it is the way it is. If it wasn't the way it is it wouldn't be the way it is."
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Suggestion : swap ‘shop’ with something else, and you can still use it.
Examples - house, car, dog, horse, cow and another sort - fait, frienship, life ….
 
"Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of great sculpture. The silent bear no witness against themselves." - Aldous Huxley
 
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