Bad Genie

[Pillar]

Not granted? Now THAT'S a bad genie.

And your wish is granted. @Michioliphant is yours but he will be your only lover for eternity.

I wish I had the power to slay god.

 

[Steven Raccoon]

Granted. You slay the invisible figment of imagination that billions of humans still worship.

I wish the human race is extinct.

 

[southernkiwi]

Granted. The humans have uploaded themselves into machines and are functionally extinct.

I wish my penis was the same as a horse's penis.

 

[Ruben]

Granted. You get an erection and die because your brain doesn't get enough blood and oxygen anymore.
(This was in an X-Files episode!)

I wish that @QuantumHusky posts the next wish.

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You get an erection and die because your brain doesn't get enough blood and oxygen anymore.
(This was in an X-Files episode!)

I wish that @QuantumHusky posts the next wish.

Granted.

This was a really thought-out post thanks for taking the time to write this!

I wish I could meet the all-powerful.

?

 

[Michioliphant]

Granted, you’ve met the Bad Genie.

I wish I was like Peter Pan and never grew up.

 

[Pillar]

Granted, you’ve met the Bad Genie.

I wish I was like Peter Pan and never grew up.

Granted. You now live a life of eternal and neverending pain in Nevernever Land. (You thought it would've been easy, didn't you?)

I wish I could slay god.

 

[southernkiwi]

Wish granted! God is now dead and now life has no meaning and the world is full of nihilists.

I wish I could teleport to any place I wanted to on command.

 

[ManGoatLove]

Granted. Now you can meet aliens on other planets, and get probed.

I wish I could shapeshift into any animal.

 

[southernkiwi]

Granted, you loose all human memories as the animal and forget to shift back to human.

I wish I had animals I could make love to anytime I wanted.

 

[southernkiwi]

Granted, The lamps have burnt you to death.

I wish I had a winking pussy

 

[southernkiwi]

Granted, you forgot to take any lifesupport and died from exposure in less than 5 minutes.

I wish I had a flying car

 

[Pillar]

Granted. Each car you have slides off a bridge any time you cross one.

I wish hell didn't exist.

 

[Michioliphant]

Granted. Each car you have slides off a bridge any time you cross one.

I wish hell didn't exist.

Granted, nothings changed as Hell already was a fantasy and you wasted your only wish.

I WISH to live 500 years having sex 20 hours a day.

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You're kept up overnights to have sex no matter how tired you are for the next 500 years.

I wish hell was real, just so my last wish was true.

 

[feellikeasir181]

Granted: Hell is now real but is its own continent

I wish i could have any female animal i can think of appear when i snap my fingers

 

[Memprys]

Granted. She immediately rejects you and runs away.

I wish I was wealthy.

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You now have 1 quadrillion Zimbabwe bank notes.

I wish I could destroy hell and the unpleasant side of heaven.

 

[Michioliphant]

Granted. You now have 1 quadrillion Zimbabwe bank notes.

I wish I could destroy hell and the unpleasant side of heaven.

Granted the sign outside Hell changes to Heaven. Nothing else just how things are named.

I wish I had a penis like Horse.

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You become an involuntary lab rat for your unusually large penis.

I wish I could meet your god.

 

[Cajlatsa]

Granted. She has an hour-glass figure and a mind like a steel trap!

I wish I could screw an ascending Angel

 

[Michioliphant]

Granted. She has an hour-glass figure and a mind like a steel trap!

I wish I could screw an ascending Angel

Granted. You’ve successfully screwed the feet of an Angel to the floor and suffer the wailing cries of misery for all eternity.


I wish I wasnt butt ugly.

 

[Pillar]

Granted. Instead of being butt ugly you're as ugly as an angler fish.

I wish I could open the portal into nothingness and rest there for eternity.

 

[Michioliphant]

Granted. Instead of being butt ugly you're as ugly as an angler fish.

I wish I could open the portal into nothingness and rest there for eternity.

Granted. Your dead.

I wish my charisma was so powerful people begged me to bed them

 

[Pillar]

Granted. Insomniacs chase you for your charismatic ability to get them to sleep and rest peacefully in bed.

I wish I could go into nothingness without dying.

 

[Cajlatsa]

Granted - Join the Democratic Party

I wish I was strong, virtuous and honest like the Don

 

[southernkiwi]

Granted - You ego and narcissism have been inflated as much as humanly possible, you believe you are the strongest, most virtuous and honest while being horrible to everyone around you.

I wish my avatar was real.

 

[Cajlatsa]

Poof! Granted

I wish my approaching thrust is not a surprise

 

[southernkiwi]

Granted - The horse butt pushes backwards into you

I wish this wasnt just fantasy

 

[Michioliphant]

Granted - Join the Democratic Party

I wish I was strong, virtuous and honest like the Don

Truly hope that’s Don Corleone

IW I hadn’t just broke 7 bones in that Nazi’s face (1977) but buried his ass in the grave instead.