I had a wild experience in college that I swore was just going to be one a one off. It was a weird situation. but I had a zoo experience that was supposed to be basically shared with my roommate at the time, but she freaked out, leaving me to basically plunge into the zoo experience solo. It became something of a regular thing for a bit until I just stopped talking to the dog's owner.
I went out and did my own thing for a long time and I'd think about what happened, but tried to bury it for a long time. It was kind of like my internal, dirty secret that I didn't want anyone to know about. I still ended up gravitating back to places that let me experience it again in fiction and roleplay while always being evasive about it, but I got to know a few people I really started to trust, I took a chance, and I just admitted to my past, figured they'd be the first people I told about it.
Honestly it scared the heck out of me and I still think one of them judges me, but my other friend was super supportive, so I broadened the type of people I told, and when I felt less like I was a piece of shit and that it was something I could jump into with excitement or even be proud of, I wanted to kind of, I donno, figure it out again, get back into it.
That's hard though you know?
So I started with zoo forums to see about testing the waters and meeting people and seeing what happens.