Top things not to say during sex

[Ted Danson Machine]

A midget war way higher on the ladder...

I once paid a midget hooker to go up on me

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I haven't been fucked this hard since grade school.

What is the first dam rule of Fight Club??

 

[goodboy1uk]

Can you pass me the TV remote.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Hurry, we need to finish before the cops show up

 

[raylenek9lover]

Your dog was bigger

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Your dog was bigger

nice

 

[stumpy bill]

Do I know you?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Do I know you?

Those encounters can be fun sometimes lol

 

[stumpy bill]

"Holy shit"..." You give a new meaning to fat"

 

[fistingmike]

Your sister was much better.

 

[stumpy bill]

Let's not and say we did

 

[Foxxy90]

You missed a hair while shaving/trimming.

 

[stumpy bill]

Your brother said your a dead fuxx. Just has to see for myself.

 

[MrsShemon]

Is it in yet?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Is it in yet?

wait, that's not a normal thing to hear...............................


fml

 

[MrsShemon]

wait, that's not a normal thing to hear...............................


fml

I know I hurt your feelings when I said that.
But look on the bright side, you will always remember that night ?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I know I hurt your feelings when I said that.
But look on the bright side, you will always remember that night ?

Yea, hard to forget my fantasy.
or should I say, my MrsDogFantasy!!!
amirite?



I'll see myself out..........lol

 

[Daedalus]

I haven't washed that since the last time you were over here.

 

[Daedalus]

I just come over to your place for the motorcycle ride down here. What a thrill! Its got nothing to do with the sex anymore; I think its just an excuse to ride. My bike is the true joy of all this.

 

[nitchanan]

Get the hell out of me......

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Get the hell out of me......

HOLY SHIT!!!!
You just won the internet for the day lol

 

[dogluver101]

God damn, your hot. Is she intact?

 

[Daedalus]

And if the owner says yes, pull up your phone's calendar while you ask when her last heat was!

 

[stumpy bill]

Don't quit your day job

 

[Chiara2003]

I am paid by the hour…. Not seconds?‍?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Hey, you don't mind if my friend's watch from the window do you?

 

[Chiara2003]

Can u jus look some place else??

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Hey, do you have like, $10 I can borrow for some wart ointment?

 

[Puhp]

Hello! Hello. Hello.

 

[Chiara2003]

U keeps going ….. I will be back in a minute ??