Top things not to say during sex

[funminx]

Your quicker than the egg timer.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Why is it so blue and patchy?

 

[thatgboi2000s]

You’re better than my uncle!

 

[Cjarsa831]

I know you said you’re fast, but my dog is slower than you

 

[Danbeast]

Yikes how did *that* happen

 

[rainbowzluzhy]

Oh yea Mr krabs

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

You smell like fear

 

[humananimal]

Sorry my little angel, I have to stop - my wife is here now.

 

[1Lonely-Heart]

Have you had an orgasm, If you said that you have had to stop, and obviously dont know what a woman does when she orgasms

 

[Chiara2003]

Have you had an orgasm, If you said that you have had to stop, and obviously dont know what a woman does when she orgasms

I kinda disagree…. I’ve had that asked of meee…. Sometimes I might have a few small ones… he might not even know…. I’m kinda vocal anyway so he sometimes does ask.

 

[Duramax96]

Can you feel that? ?

 

[FloofyNewfie]

I hope you don't mind that I have pubic crabs? They're friendly though, just a bit itchy. Meet Jerry, Terry, Sherry, Harry, Berry, and Perry!

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Me: I call my dick the "Bulldozer."
Her: Sigh... Why? Because it's going to plow me?
Me: No because it's dirty, greasy, and the color yellow!

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Me: I call my dick the "Bulldozer."
Her: Sigh... Why? Because it's going to plow me?
Me: No because it's dirty, greasy, and the color yellow!

I call mine the lie because it's a little white one.


HA

 

[FloofyNewfie]

I call mine the lie because it's a little white one.


HA

Okay, now that's clever! ?

 

[Chiara2003]

I call mine the lie because it's a little white one.


HA

How long did it take 2come up with that one?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

How long did it take 2come up with that one?

Hey now, you can't deny my quick wit.
One of the many things quick about me lol

 

[Chiara2003]

Hey now, you can't deny my quick wit.
One of the many things quick about me lol

Yes but I jus imagine it was a bit … even 4U

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Yes but I jus imagine it was a bit … even 4U

 

[PonyLove]

Hey now, you can't deny my quick wit.
One of the many things quick about me lol

and maybe also how long your sex session lasts...,quite quick....LOL

 

[PonyLove]

what's that smell??

 

[Vermilion]

Hyah!

 

[Steven Raccoon]

You suck in bed. It's like fucking a corpse.

 

[Duramax96]

I hope you don't mind that I have pubic crabs? They're friendly though. Meet Jerry, Terry, Sherry, Harry, Berry, and Perry!

They all wave at her ?

You suck in bed. It's like fucking a corpse.

then she's a DEAD lay

 

[humananimal]

When comparing you feels like my cow in stall 19.

 

[1Lonely-Heart]

I kinda disagree…. I’ve had that asked of meee…. Sometimes I might have a few small ones… he might not even know…. I’m kinda vocal anyway so he sometimes does ask.

Would you prefer them to keep going until you cant take much more, rather than asking.

 

[Chiara2003]

Would you prefer them to keep going until you cant take much more, rather than asking.

Most guys seem to go until they finish….. also I like pleasing my man.

 

[1Lonely-Heart]

Most guys seem to go until they finish….. also I like pleasing my man.

He sounds like a lucky man

 

[KnotReady]

I just took a big dump

 

[Chiara2003]

Been trying 2get in touch with you about ur car warranty ?