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The Most Embarrassing Zoo Thing You Have Said To a Non-Zoo

I (f35) once was with a group of friends, at an outdoor bar in a park, and two dogs really went at it. So, the guys started making jokes about it, as you can expect, but I just watched. Then the dogs knotted, and turned back-to-back. So one of them wondered why on Earth they would do that, and said without thinking: "Oh, he just keeps cumming and cumming, believe me..." Then they all realized that I had some experience in the matter.
 
When I was young and had a zoo gf. A friend made a joke about doggy style and I said something about how my gf loved it with the dog. I did my best to play it off, but the look my gf gave me though. I was super embarrassed, but we were in middle school so no one really believed us that we had done anything more than hold hands and kiss, so we got away with it.
 
I don't get embarrassed from things I say... and most people around me know me for having a twisted sense of humor, no filter and too much weird knowledge.

More than likely they get embarrassed by some of the things I say. Especially girl friends when they are whining to me about a breakup, or needing a guy in their life. I tell them to get a male dog, they will have a better time anyway.
 
Playing World of Warcraft with a friend. I mistakenly referred to the Beast Master talent specialization as 'Bestiality Spec'. Good job she found it hilarious.
 
Anja123 said:
I (f35) once was with a group of friends, at an outdoor bar in a park, and two dogs really went at it. So, the guys started making jokes about it, as you can expect, but I just watched. Then the dogs knotted, and turned back-to-back. So one of them wondered why on Earth they would do that, and said without thinking: "Oh, he just keeps cumming and cumming, believe me..." Then they all realized that I had some experience in the matter.
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thats a good one..
 
I remember once, group of friends on a forest track, someone comes riding a horse, I was first.
One of the guys coments "Wow, That sure is a sexy mare coming"
I was about to say... No, no that is a horse.Then it downed on me it was a young fit lady riding the horse...

Other than that, I have made occasional jokes and some wisdom bits but nothing too bad. We usually tend to think everyone will suspect, but they seldom do

Oh, not long ago, with some dogs, one was trying to mount a bitch in heat. They say... Wasn't he fixed? The owner, saying he was actually poking out while trying.
I of course had to be the wiseass asking what age they had fixed him. Over a year "Oh, yes, balls or not, then the instict will be there and he may even do the deed, but as long as no balls, no harm done if they want fun"
 
Before me and my husband confessed to each other that we wanted to have animal sex we watched one of the bulls on are farm jump an mount a heifer he plunged in and was doing his thing I was lost watching him and my husband grabbed me and asked if I was OK all I could say is can u imagine how much cum he's pumping into her suddenly I snapped out of it and he was just staring at me i brushed it off and tried joking 3 years later learning I got him excited with the ideo of me takeing a bull but God he fucked me good that night
 
skiguy31 said:
When I was young and had a zoo gf. A friend made a joke about doggy style and I said something about how my gf loved it with the dog. I did my best to play it off, but the look my gf gave me though. I was super embarrassed, but we were in middle school so no one really believed us that we had done anything more than hold hands and kiss, so we got away with it.
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Good one
 
FloofyNewfie said:
Oh God, this reminds me of something I did like 5 years back. I had just gotten my wisdom teeth pulled and I was on Vicodin at the time. This was maybe the 2nd or 3rd day I was on the medication so my body wasn't used to it yet. I was in the living room talking to my mother and somehow the topic of horses came up. In my opioid induced delirium I blurted out "Horse dicks are bigger than those Maglite flashlights!" My mother had the look on her face that said, "WTF did you just say?" But once I realized what I had just said I tried to quickly change the subject. I don't remember much else, but I do remember that bit!
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Well, you weren't lyin!
 
Not said but with my bf’s 3 pups deciding that they ready... it can get alittle embarrassing to explain why they pushing me
 
DogSweden said:
I talked to my friend and he says how good sex he has with his human girlfriend
Before my brain connected, I say that I have sex daily with my dog girls and you will never feel such a tight pussy.


:gsd_tired: :gsd_tired: :gsd_tired: :gsd_tired:
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This is so true. I've been with a human partner recently and there is no comparison. Dog pussy is incredible.
 
i was just finishing enjoying a ewe and a cop car rolled up. as i was exiting the field shining his light at me and started talking to me. i was doing a pretty good job of arranging my face in a 'not just been fucking a ewe until you rolled up' kind of way, but then I noticed my black sweat shirt was covered in wool all down the front. I turned away as the cop looked up my deets, and plucked as much wool off as possible. I was asked what i was doing out at night and just said i work until late so do other things at night .
 
Farmersutra said:
i was just finishing enjoying a ewe and a cop car rolled up. as i was exiting the field shining his light at me and started talking to me. i was doing a pretty good job of arranging my face in a 'not just been fucking a ewe until you rolled up' kind of way, but then I noticed my black sweat shirt was covered in wool all down the front. I turned away as the cop looked up my deets, and plucked as much wool off as possible. I was asked what i was doing out at night and just said i work until late so do other things at night .
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*looks at the policeman*
What were *YOU* up to, officer, coming here for no reason so late at night?
??
 
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