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The Most Embarrassing Zoo Thing You Have Said To a Non-Zoo

petite-pony said:
Unfortunately no :gsd_laughing: It was a giant neo mastiff though and he was bigger than me but almost a foot on his back legs (i'm TINY) and lots of people took pics and there were many jokes he was going tos teal me from my bf at the time

I loved it lmao
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Nice, you should of taken him for a walk lol
 
Alphaking said:
That's pretty dam hot
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Done that I know how you feel, but for anyone who hasn't.. forensic psychology goes onto what was considered deviant behaviour and what is deviant behaviour and zoophilia pops up in both sk j can explain if away with that excuse..
 
When I was a young boy I was put in a group home/residential treatment center, and we would go to the park a lot and dogs were very common in the park, one day we were out at the park and me and my friend were walking around when a man walked by, with a very sexy female husky, and my brain for some reason stopped working and everything I was thinking came out of my mouth lol, and I said, “ that’s a hot dog” and my friend I was standing with laughed at me, he didn’t judge me tho because we were in the group home/ residential treatment center for things specifically like that.
 
Me and one of my non zoo buddies were hanging out and my dog came downstairs. When she came in the room without even thinking, probably because we had been drinking, I said, “there’s my sexy girl”. He gave me a funny look, but never said anything about it.
 
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mammalsexual said:
This doesn't quite qualify, but I can't help but include this story...

Waaaayyy back when I was a kid, say 11 or 12 YO, I was riding thru our neighborhood in the family car my mom driving, my best friend Eli with us. Even back then I was a horny little fucker, and was strongly attracted to animals. That said, I was apt to surreptitiously check out the naughty bits of any animal in eyesight. So I notice we are approaching a large black dog sorta squatting on a lawn with a huge orange appendage hanging beneath his butt. At first glance I thought he was taking a shit, but as we got closer it soon became apparent that it was a HUGE doggy boner with a shocking bright orange color. Just completely giant, especially in relation to the size of his body. A regular John Holmes of the canine world. It was kinda mindblowing to realize a dog could be so well hung. Hard as it was to take my eyes off such a magnificent member, I managed not to stare directly at it as we passed him by. I remember thinking how odd that he was completely alone with such a gigantic erection, and the gears started turning in my mind as to how the mutt got to be in such an excited state. Obviously had just tied with a mate, but whether it was canine or human it was no where to be seen.

My friend was oblivious at first, chatting away inconsequentially the way kids do, but I knew my mom had seen it and although both of us were awkwardly in awe of the sight we were doing our best to ignore it to avoid any social embarrassment. Just as we were passing him, my innocent friend finally notices the mutt and blurts out to my mom " Oh my god Mrs. ******, that dog's taking a big orange crap!"

Without missing a beat my mom dead-pans "Eli, that's not a crap!"???

My friend was speechless...

Precious childhood memories...?
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Gotta ask. Was your mom into dogs too?
 
Bluephoenyx said:
Hahahahahahahahah xD !!!! i know right? when something like that happens i often just say that since i'm a furry i know about these stuff
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Thankfully o grew up on the country. Knowing about animal mating comes with the territory. So it's the easiest thing ever to pass off
 
DogSweden said:
I talked to my friend and he says how good sex he has with his human girlfriend
Before my brain connected, I say that I have sex daily with my dog girls and you will never feel such a tight pussy.


:gsd_tired: :gsd_tired: :gsd_tired: :gsd_tired:
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Ooops I mean it's true. What was your friends response? I hope your still safe and friends regardless of that accidental coming out as a zoo
 
A few years ago I was on a trip to Europe that my college sponsored and one of the places we went had horse drawn carriages all over the city. I was with a few of my friends when we stopped because one such carriage was coming down the street. I couldn't help but notice the massive semi flopping around on this draft horse as he was walking by. One of the guys I was with gave me a weird look and all I could think to say was that's a boy. Luckily they were used to me saying off the wall shit and we wound up spending the next few days making a game out of who could spot the horses junk first. Needless to say we were getting some strange looks by the time we left there lol.
On that same trip I did have a pretty big embarrassing moment. We were on the bus going back to the hotel one night and I had been drinking for a large part of the day. Someone in the back pissed me off earlier and I kept wanting to go back there and talk to him but my friend next to me stopped me. He finally got me to sit down by googling pictures of horses asses on his phone. If that wasn't bad enough I was saying things like oh damn she's sexy and that's some nice mare pussy. Luckily this was the same guy I knew was into furry stuff but we never did talk about it after the next morning.
 
I've had a few embarrassing moments. Not really something I said, though...

I remember one time, a friend who had caught me a couple times already (once with her mom's dog, another with her girlfriend's daughter's dog) was with me at another friend's house, and she had some "interesting" pictures pulled up on the internet. Just random pics that make you go "Wow!" or "WTF!?"... well one of the pics was a person holding up a cocker spaniel in their lap showing the dogs full blown knot & hard-on, and the friend who owned the computer/house said "Is that real!? Na... that can't be real!?" And with the corner of my eye, I could see my other friend smiling, as if she was trying not to laugh... and I SWEAR I had the power to read her mind at that moment, because I could almost hear her say "I dunno... ask ******!"

Another time was, with the same friend who caught me, we were watching some comedian doing stand up, who was talking about getting drunk on Jagermeister and doing embarrassing things, and trying to blame the drink by exclaiming "Jager!" Well my dog at the time's name WAS Jager... and the guy made a comment about wrestling with the dog and getting a boner, and exclaimed "Jager!"..... I saw her again crack that familiar "I'm trying not to bust out laughing" smile. To make things worse there was a crowd of people at my house that day. I could've just died right then and there. I almost can recall in that very moment, damn near cursing my maker for putting me in such a horribly coincidental moment... how often does THAT happen!?

As for embarrassing things I may have said, I can't really recall any. I've always been pretty careful about what flies out of my mouth :LOL:
(Though I obviously wasn't quite as careful about not getting caught)

:whistle:
 
I didn't say it but someone I know who is a major perv and always makes really inappropriate jokes. Anyway he tried to make fun of me by making a joke saying if I had a dog I would probably put peanut butter on myself to let the dog lick it off. I just avoided eye contact and was like whatever and changed the conversation. Little did he know I would let the dog do so much more than just lick me.
 
The most embarrassing thing was when I was “coming out” to my whole family, my parents, relatives, close friends.
I am 30+ years old, living alone and not looking for anyone, I buried 2 girl dogs and now I live with 4 girl dogs. Because of this, they suspected it anyway. My two dogs died almost simultaneously, I became depressed after their funeral and then I told everyone close to me. It was a brave and dangerous thing, but I know them were ready for it.

There was a barbecue party in the family, most of them were there. Then I told you.
I thought they understood. But no, at first they thought I was joking. Funny they asked and what to with a girl dog? And I told them in DETAIL. The smell, the taste, the feeling, the muscle rings, the bitch dancing, the squeezing, the hot, etc. Why can't a puppy be born out of this. And the emotional part, love, affection. How a dog indicates if she wants sex and if she doesn’t want to. Etc. Then I saw some of them have red heads and cover their faces, shake their heads and laugh in the process. Then they realized that everything I was saying was true.
They were accepted me. They're glad I'm happy.
They fully understand my relationship with her dogs. I’ve loved dogs since I was young, sometimes called me “whispering with dogs”. They understand that because of the great love, I also have sex with my dogs.
The zoo-exclusive part has a harder time they understanding, why I only like dogs and not people. I told them it was genetics, I was since young, when my hormones started work (12-13 years old), I have loved dogs and not people.
They accept.

The coming out is very dangerous, I would not recommend it to anyone. I also did it just because I was depressed after the deaths of my two dogs and I was very lucky that it didn’t get in trouble.
 
I had been invited out to the horse races with some friends awhile back, and used the opportunity to be open without actually being open. Between the races they basically parade the horses around as they make their way to the track. Well each time we'd be out there watching them I'd make comments about the horses, talking about how hot they are, saying how nice their asses are, etc. My friends get a kick out of it cause they think I'm joking, but I'm 100% honest without them realizing it. It's fun to be able to actually say those things out loud around others, even if they don't know you're being serious.
 
The only zoo-related embarassment I've had was, years earlier, a friend had emailed me that animated gif clip of a woman sucking off a horse, gagging and coughing out a bunch of semen after he came hard down her throat. My friend was visiting and started talking about porn in general, and I mentioned some recent dog vids. Oops, he'd only sent that horse gag vid as a joke, not because he was even slightly into it. . . .
 
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ZooDonna said:
I casually mentioned to a gf that I was still oozing cum from the night before when she absolutely knew for a fact I didn’t have a man over. She looked at me with this look on her face and I realized it was an oops moment.
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Wow! the imagery of that is so hot!! :)
 
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