Step 1: Find a stray in question.
Step 2: Make friends by taking care of him and getting to know his mannerisms and giving him lots of pets.
Step 3: He is in your car now, and you are heading down to your friendly neighborhood veterinarian for a full physical exam and everything—the works—because now he’s your bud and you want what’s best for him.
Step 4: The vet asks you for a name, and you give him one on the spot since you weren’t prepared.
Step 5: Now you’re heading home, and you just decide to let him hang out at your house to a while.
Step 6: A while becomes forever, and you’ve adopted your new friend and given him a loving, caring home.
Step 7: You are no longer single, and you have a doggo that becomes the light of your life.
Step 8: Then you can happily give him your bottom
.
For inspiration: look at photos of doggos before and after they had been given homes for a year. Now imagine that happy dog lives with you, and you share everything together, AND you have amazing sex. What are you waiting for?