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Forum seems to be dying?

People had a lot of time on their hands over quarentine. But the truth is most of us have professional lives that are starting to pick back up. I'm sad I don't have a lot of time to be as active as I used to be. But I'm also am very happy for those of us who are picking back up the pieces of the lives that got smashed due to covid.

And don't worry. I've still been spending plenty of time with my boy. He's helped me both emotionally and sexually through these crazy times. ?
 
It'll pick up soon. There is a lot going on in America because of the upcoming election. Mark my words 2021 is going to be a good year for us; you'll see. :husky_wink:
 
I've found it some what harder to get on during the pandemic as I don't have the same time to myself to safely journey to this lovely oasis lol
 
I have a theory, but it will likely get me attacked, flamed, and ridiculed. However, since I'm expecting it, and I know where the block button is, and how to use it, I'm going to expand.

It's a combination of factors. First, there seems to be a fair amount of gatekeeping going on. As in, those who are "insiders" are sometimes inadvertently, and sometimes actively, making it unpleasant to be interested in seeking information or guidance. Anyone making any kind of inquiry is labeled a "porn-seeker" or "someone who wants to hurt animals" or some other triggering thing. This will keep many from ever saying anything at all.
The second part of it is, there are those who talk a big game, and never back it up. As my grandmother used to say, these people have "a bulldog mouth and a Mickey Mouse ass" (grandma was cool). The third part is, no one seems to be very welcoming, in a general way. What I mean is, there are lots of "hi, welcome, glad you're here" type posts, but nobody actively contacts people. In one particular case, I know of someone who came on the forum looking for information, and guidance, and aside from the "send me nudes" group, no one else ever responded to anything she posted. She indicated her interest in wanting to chat, and no one ever sent any messages beyond the "wanna get together" bunch.

Speaking only for myself, I personally don't feel very welcome here either. I should state up front, for transparency purposes, that I am not the kind of guy who will immediately jump into the middle of things with a "here I am" attitude, and actively message people to start conversations. I just don't feel comfortable being an "in your face" extrovert. However, I've stated on multiple occasions, on multiple local forums that I'm more than willing to talk, hang out, or anything else, and I've never had any conversation that ever lasted more than one or two back and forths. All because nobody seems to be interested in being communicative. No one seems interested in putting forth any effort whatsoever to actively engage others. If you want me to be a part of things, then I've expressed my interest, so you have to actively include me. Since I've never been actively included in anything, I can only come to the conclusion that nobody wants to include anyone else. Particularly me.

If we want a forum that is open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant, then we all have to be open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant.

And that's my take on it. Critics will be ignored, flamers will be blocked, and those seeking solutions will be welcomed.
 
Sissyinheat said:
I just got here today but I hope it isn’t dying!
Click to expand...
Don't worry. With hundreds of new members daily, and forum thread activity rising every day, this site is extremely alive.
Do not listen to someone who hardly participates, limiting most of their activity to "likes" and "loves," or people with needs that are not being met and never will be, when they claim the site (forum) is dying. To them, it will always look that way.
To you, welcome to the site!
 
Kristy said:
Don't worry. With hundreds of new members daily, and forum thread activity rising every day, this site is extremely alive.
Do not listen to someone who hardly participates, limiting most of their activity to "likes" and "loves," or people with needs that are not being met and never will be, when they claim the site (forum) is dying. To them, it will always look that way.
To you, welcome to the site!
Click to expand...

Good to hear that, tbh. I’m quite curious to make decent friends in the community and learn more about these relationships/dynamics. <3
 
Kristy said:
Don't worry. With hundreds of new members daily, and forum thread activity rising every day, this site is extremely alive.
Do not listen to someone who hardly participates, limiting most of their activity to "likes" and "loves," or people with needs that are not being met and never will be, when they claim the site (forum) is dying. To them, it will always look that way.
To you, welcome to the site!
Click to expand...

well said
 
Sissyinheat said:
Good to hear that, tbh. I’m quite curious to make decent friends in the community and learn more about these relationships/dynamics. <3
Click to expand...
As long as the law doesnt bust the site it will survive. As long as you dont get too depressed by the opinions of others who seem to think they have a right to a free-for-all sans rules, regulations, and Brains....you'll survive too. Welcome to the House
 
aintgottaandwanna said:
I have a theory, but it will likely get me attacked, flamed, and ridiculed. However, since I'm expecting it, and I know where the block button is, and how to use it, I'm going to expand.

It's a combination of factors. First, there seems to be a fair amount of gatekeeping going on. As in, those who are "insiders" are sometimes inadvertently, and sometimes actively, making it unpleasant to be interested in seeking information or guidance. Anyone making any kind of inquiry is labeled a "porn-seeker" or "someone who wants to hurt animals" or some other triggering thing. This will keep many from ever saying anything at all.
The second part of it is, there are those who talk a big game, and never back it up. As my grandmother used to say, these people have "a bulldog mouth and a Mickey Mouse ass" (grandma was cool). The third part is, no one seems to be very welcoming, in a general way. What I mean is, there are lots of "hi, welcome, glad you're here" type posts, but nobody actively contacts people. In one particular case, I know of someone who came on the forum looking for information, and guidance, and aside from the "send me nudes" group, no one else ever responded to anything she posted. She indicated her interest in wanting to chat, and no one ever sent any messages beyond the "wanna get together" bunch.

Speaking only for myself, I personally don't feel very welcome here either. I should state up front, for transparency purposes, that I am not the kind of guy who will immediately jump into the middle of things with a "here I am" attitude, and actively message people to start conversations. I just don't feel comfortable being an "in your face" extrovert. However, I've stated on multiple occasions, on multiple local forums that I'm more than willing to talk, hang out, or anything else, and I've never had any conversation that ever lasted more than one or two back and forths. All because nobody seems to be interested in being communicative. No one seems interested in putting forth any effort whatsoever to actively engage others. If you want me to be a part of things, then I've expressed my interest, so you have to actively include me. Since I've never been actively included in anything, I can only come to the conclusion that nobody wants to include anyone else. Particularly me.

If we want a forum that is open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant, then we all have to be open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant.

And that's my take on it. Critics will be ignored, flamers will be blocked, and those seeking solutions will be welcomed.
Click to expand...
oooh look....flames and disapproval....
 
Sissyinheat said:
Good to hear that, tbh. I’m quite curious to make decent friends in the community and learn more about these relationships/dynamics. <3
Click to expand...
There are LOTS of good people to make friends with, here. And like anywhere else in life, online of offline, there are some who are not. Best advice: hang back a little and learn those dynamics while doing a little friendly commenting, and you will be fine.
 
I know for myself it took a lot of courage for me to join this site as an ‘active member and participant’.I have kept this side of me a secret for so long it was really hard to actually be open about it, even here. I don’t think I am the only one.
I am trying to be open with others and honest and welcoming. I feel better about it every day, but it was hard at 1st. I was so nervous to be open, but to be honest I have met a few really great people and I am thankful for that.
As an active woman with a German Shepard there is some paranoia associated with being open, I have kept it a secret for most of my life.
the people I have met here have been encouraging and great to chat with. I hope others havea similar experience
 
Usually the chats here are slow. I do message people back but a lot of time we will exchange one or two a day and then people just stop messaging. It is how things go. People have lives and stuff. If people message me I respond if they don't they don't.
 
aintgottaandwanna said:
I have a theory, but it will likely get me attacked, flamed, and ridiculed. However, since I'm expecting it, and I know where the block button is, and how to use it, I'm going to expand.

It's a combination of factors. First, there seems to be a fair amount of gatekeeping going on. As in, those who are "insiders" are sometimes inadvertently, and sometimes actively, making it unpleasant to be interested in seeking information or guidance. Anyone making any kind of inquiry is labeled a "porn-seeker" or "someone who wants to hurt animals" or some other triggering thing. This will keep many from ever saying anything at all.
The second part of it is, there are those who talk a big game, and never back it up. As my grandmother used to say, these people have "a bulldog mouth and a Mickey Mouse ass" (grandma was cool). The third part is, no one seems to be very welcoming, in a general way. What I mean is, there are lots of "hi, welcome, glad you're here" type posts, but nobody actively contacts people. In one particular case, I know of someone who came on the forum looking for information, and guidance, and aside from the "send me nudes" group, no one else ever responded to anything she posted. She indicated her interest in wanting to chat, and no one ever sent any messages beyond the "wanna get together" bunch.

Speaking only for myself, I personally don't feel very welcome here either. I should state up front, for transparency purposes, that I am not the kind of guy who will immediately jump into the middle of things with a "here I am" attitude, and actively message people to start conversations. I just don't feel comfortable being an "in your face" extrovert. However, I've stated on multiple occasions, on multiple local forums that I'm more than willing to talk, hang out, or anything else, and I've never had any conversation that ever lasted more than one or two back and forths. All because nobody seems to be interested in being communicative. No one seems interested in putting forth any effort whatsoever to actively engage others. If you want me to be a part of things, then I've expressed my interest, so you have to actively include me. Since I've never been actively included in anything, I can only come to the conclusion that nobody wants to include anyone else. Particularly me.

If we want a forum that is open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant, then we all have to be open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant.

And that's my take on it. Critics will be ignored, flamers will be blocked, and those seeking solutions will be welcomed.
Click to expand...
You mean you don’t want to make the effort to join in but moan that nobody contacts you
well boo hoo the only way to get the benefits of a forum is by actually joining in conversations because sure as hell you won’t be invited
 
aintgottaandwanna said:
I have a theory, but it will likely get me attacked, flamed, and ridiculed. However, since I'm expecting it, and I know where the block button is, and how to use it, I'm going to expand.

It's a combination of factors. First, there seems to be a fair amount of gatekeeping going on. As in, those who are "insiders" are sometimes inadvertently, and sometimes actively, making it unpleasant to be interested in seeking information or guidance. Anyone making any kind of inquiry is labeled a "porn-seeker" or "someone who wants to hurt animals" or some other triggering thing. This will keep many from ever saying anything at all.
The second part of it is, there are those who talk a big game, and never back it up. As my grandmother used to say, these people have "a bulldog mouth and a Mickey Mouse ass" (grandma was cool). The third part is, no one seems to be very welcoming, in a general way. What I mean is, there are lots of "hi, welcome, glad you're here" type posts, but nobody actively contacts people. In one particular case, I know of someone who came on the forum looking for information, and guidance, and aside from the "send me nudes" group, no one else ever responded to anything she posted. She indicated her interest in wanting to chat, and no one ever sent any messages beyond the "wanna get together" bunch.

Speaking only for myself, I personally don't feel very welcome here either. I should state up front, for transparency purposes, that I am not the kind of guy who will immediately jump into the middle of things with a "here I am" attitude, and actively message people to start conversations. I just don't feel comfortable being an "in your face" extrovert. However, I've stated on multiple occasions, on multiple local forums that I'm more than willing to talk, hang out, or anything else, and I've never had any conversation that ever lasted more than one or two back and forths. All because nobody seems to be interested in being communicative. No one seems interested in putting forth any effort whatsoever to actively engage others. If you want me to be a part of things, then I've expressed my interest, so you have to actively include me. Since I've never been actively included in anything, I can only come to the conclusion that nobody wants to include anyone else. Particularly me.

If we want a forum that is open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant, then we all have to be open, welcoming, inclusive and pleasant.

And that's my take on it. Critics will be ignored, flamers will be blocked, and those seeking solutions will be welcomed.
Click to expand...
There's a pretty good amount to unpack here, so I'm probably going to miss a few points, maybe several...

There definitely are "insiders" on this forum, but their "in the know" comes from years and years of experience within the zoo realm. We've all started from the bottom at some point and eventually by posting, posting, and posting, you'll make a name for yourself on here and potentially any place you wind up in the future. A fresh face is an unknown face, while a weathered face is the face of experience.

There are also those that are owners, those that were owners, those that want to be owners, those that are voyeurists only and never wish to own any animals, those that are porn seekers only, those that are here to seek friendship for guidance, and those that are here to seek people out to boink their animals without putting in the work of feeding them and taking care of said animal's daily needs. There are all kinds of people on here for many differing reasons. But make no mistake, there are people labeled as ""porn-seeker" or "someone who wants to hurt animals" or some other triggering thing." for very good reasons, because those descriptions are sometimes accurate. Not everyone that IS here, IS here for good kindhearted reasons.

I can't remember who exactly said this on this forum, but one good piece of advice for newbies wanting to learn about the zoo lifestyle from scratch is to lurk around for a few months and post sparingly. Read the information that is already here by browsing the forum or using the search function up at the top of the screen. If you are a newbie wanting to learn, great! But keep in mind that your questions will more than likely have been asked and answered at some point in time and if you put forth a little bit of effort you'll find the information you desire. A question such as "how can you tell when a female dog is enjoying sex, what are the signs to look out for?" is a question that has been asked and answered many many many MANY times over. If you waltz in and ask the same type of question that has already been answered many many many MANY times expect no response, or expect pushback from other users telling you that it's been asked and answered before and to "get off your lazy bum and look for it" because it's already here. This all boils down to the old saying "look before you leap."

Friendships are hard to obtain and maintain over time. Take it from me, I'm busy... I'm VERY busy most of the time and don't have a lot of time to sit down and talk to people. I'll try to find some time, but other times I just don't put forth the effort when someone reaches out to me wanting friendship. I've made the mistake of taking on way too many friends at one given time. There was a time in my life where I was talking to 3-6 various people a day, all at the same time as one another. It's something that's exhausting, jumping back and forth between conversations is stressful. In my opinion, it's not worth the draining effort. If someone blows you off, don't take it personally. I tend to really click with a small handful of people. That's just the way it is. If you look, eventually you'll find someone that you'll click with as well. It all goes back to putting effort into things, and not expecting those things to be handed to you.

This forum is only as welcoming as you make it, but not everyone is suited to the forum environment.
 
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