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Deep quotes you heard or made up?

Sedirae said:
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment
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Yep. There's a reason the myth of Pandora had it in the box with all the world's evils, and that it was considered a good thing that she closed the box before hope could enter the world.
 
"A gay musical called Gay, that's quiet, gay. A gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay? This must be the gayest musical ever made."
 
“a child tells about his teacher miss Jones, who leaned forward to explain something, and then one of her lungs fell out”
 
humananimal said:
no straight lines on the women at Hooters.
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Is that why the police officers on the COPS TV show don't pull out an inflatable woman to lie on the ground for the sobriety test when doing a traffic stop?

In this country our cops just present you with a tubular object to put in your mouth as they are standing at your car window and ask you to blow for them.
 
HugDoggy said:
Is that why the police officers on the COPS TV show don't pull out an inflatable woman to lie on the ground for the sobriety test when doing a traffic stop?

In this country our cops just present you with a tubular object to put in your mouth as they are standing at your car window and ask you to blow for them.
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Not sure I get it right, you write for real or joking?
I tried to be funny about women at Hooters - no straight line, they are all to curvy.
 
humananimal said:
Not sure I get it right, you write for real or joking?
I tried to be funny about women at Hooters - no straight line, they are all to curvy.
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Police used to ask you to walk a straight line if they thought you were drunk, so the inflatable woman's curves wouldn't work.

Then he's equating putting the breathalyzer they now use to test blood alcohol level to a penis.
 
dartel said:
Police used to ask you to walk a straight line if they thought you were drunk, so the inflatable woman's curves wouldn't work.

Then he's equating putting the breathalyzer they now use to test blood alcohol level to a penis.
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I think the police could then use the inflatable woman to test if he is ‘straight’ ? well, and sober too.
(in ‘MacBeth’ by Shakespeare, the porter says about drinking : ‘it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance’)
 
humananimal said:
Not sure I get it right, you write for real or joking?
I tried to be funny about women at Hooters - no straight line, they are all to curvy.
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Sorry Humananimal, I was responding to your joke with a joke, Dartel interpreted it correctly.

I suspect inflatable sex toys for animals may not be a good idea though, particularly in the case of felines; those guys are just loaded full of things to make their lovers pop.
 
"Life. Is like a box of chocolates. A cheap thoughtless perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindless wolf down because there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup, english toffee, but they're gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth shattering nuts. If you're desperate enough to eat those all you're left with is, an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers."
 
If you are confused and in a tough spot, though it may be tempting, do not envy someone who has their life figured out.
They just don't know how screwed they really are yet.
 
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