Top things not to say during sex

[KenGinMo]

I thought it was just gas, do you need a towel?

 

[k9Queen]

Hurry up, your Uber is almost here.

 

[Goattobeloved]

Classic one:
"Keep sucking. (this time) I'll warn you before I cum"

 

[Duramax96]

Me: Damn you got a big pussy. Damn you got a big pussy.

Why did you say it twice?

Me: I didn’t

 

[saddlebum66]

No..
Nooooo......
Noooooooooooooooooh!

 

[Vermilion]

Boom, gonorrhea, baby!!!

 

[FloofyNewfie]

"2.2 seconds, well I'll be damned, I broke my previous record!"

 

[K_9River_rat]

Can you taste your sister on it?

 

[Deleted member 217368]

You're adopted ?

 

[SweetyK9]

"Honey, i've got VIH!" When you are cumming.

 

[Txcowboy23]

My aunts pussy is tighter than yours

 

[saddlebum66]

This will hurt ME more than it'll hurt you....I think.

 

[BruceD77]

damn, all those were funnier than shit.
i couldn't stop laughing. my sides hurt now. i even have the after giggles. tomorrow im going to be thinking of some and start laughing out of nowhere. you all rock...

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I don't use birth control

Sweet neither do I

 

[justadsmguy]

Did you cum?

 

[saddlebum66]

Awww, Mooooom.....!

 

[Dutch35]

Wait... You said we were out of peanut butter... But where did the jar go?!

 

[Intriguedbyu]

Hope that pelican worked.

 

[Intriguedbyu]

damn, your mom was right said she was tighter.

 

[Dutch35]

Cancel lunch with my wife tomorrow..

 

[saddlebum66]

Oh...that? Never seen a buggy whip before?

 

[K_9River_rat]

Awww, Mooooom.....!

Gold medal!!

 

[saddlebum66]

Gold medal!!

No it wasnt....she was barely even trying?

 

[ZooDonna]

Who let the dog out?

 

[nessaknotts]

It looked bigger in the picture.

 

[saddlebum66]

I never SENT you a picture...?

 

[saddlebum66]

The Rope? Its a safety line, if your hub gets home early.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Damn, your clit is bigger than my dick!

 

[saddlebum66]

No such thing as too tall, sweetie....if it comes to that you can hang a bucket on my head, and swing on the handle....

 

[JazzyPaws]

Shouldn't have eaten that cheese earlier...........

???