Top things not to say during sex

[CetaceanLover23]

"Do you really need to be checking your email right now?"

 

[CritterFunatic]

"I just turned 15 last month..."

 

[Moosekub]

Any mention of an impending release of gas. Big no no

 

[Zlob1960]

Just form an orderly que

 

[CritterFunatic]

Don't worry about having forgotten to take the pill, I'll pull out in ti...uuuh...me. Oopsie...

 

[DLMEM202]

I can fake better than you.

 

[Zlob1960]

Is that as big as it gets

 

[420Fatty]

What the fuck is wrong with your pussy? Did you get fisted by a gorilla? This thing is worthless.

 

[Zlob1960]

I'll try the other door

 

[CetaceanLover23]

N.Y. METS FAN: "Your pussy feels soooo good!!!"

Yankees Fan: "I'm a Yankees fan."

*Only baseball fans will truly get this*

 

[fractalelf]

Whoops, sorry, dad!

 

[Furf2b2b]

Are You Ready ? After ME ! There's Another 99 MEN Waitng in Line , Tobe Next !!!!

 

[DLMEM202]

I've had better wanks.

 

[CritterFunatic]

I can't feel a thing. I never knew my groin could fall asleep...

 

[VoyeurGraham]

I feel like ordering a pizza. Want some?
Today at work I...
Is your sister coming to visit soon?

 

[Erja]

.... If you re ready looking in that mirror .....

 

[Zlob1960]

Are you going to put it in me........OH you have already.....small then

 

[DLMEM202]

I need a drink

 

[Furf2b2b]

Your What Hurt's ?? I Haven't done Anything YET ???

 

[FrauHunde]

I havent been fuct like that since grade school!

A favorite line from Fight Club ?

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Guy: "Oh Shit!!!"
Girl: "WHAT!!!"
Guy: "My dick fell off again"
Girl: "Wait? What do you mean 'again'?"

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

"Gooooooooooooooal!"

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Guy: "Oh Shit!!!"
Girl: "WHAT!!!"
Guy: "My dick fell off again"
Girl: "Wait? What do you mean 'again'?"

 

[Darkowl]

Wait do you smell fish?

 

[Zlob1960]

Have to gorilla glue

 

[CK4957 STD]

So far this is not blowing my skirt up..

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

"I need a Popsicle stick, some medical tape, and a dirty magazine STAT!"

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Is it you or approximately you

 

[Zlob1960]

Is this going to take long

 

[viviancisawesome]

Is that a JoJo reference?