The curse of an exclusively zoophilic attraction

[Brutalphelan]

There is some amazing perspective and wisdom in this thread. I'm proud to call myself a human after reading your replies Bluebeard. Much respect.

 

[bordercollie2]

This is going to be a wall of self-pity. Readers beware. I just need to vent, and hopefully hear something encouraging from people who have more experience in life than I do.

For as long as I can remember, I had sexual interest towards animals. When I was young, I looked forward to every occasion I had to be alone with the family’s dog. I knew even back then nothing much would happen. He was old but the time I started exploring my sexuality, small and neutered. But even if there wasn’t much we could do, I wanted to be with him. To feel him against my naked body. It filled me with such excitement. Growing up, I never had much interest in girls, or boys for that matter, but I kept the option open because it was the “normal” thing to do. I had a few short relationships with a few girls, but they were mostly glorified friendships rather than anything romantic and none of these relationships ever resulted in sex. When I was around 17 or 18, I took a good hard look at my life and realized that chasing women wasn’t for me, and that longing for a “normal” relationship just for the sake of being normal was doing me more harm than good. I decided then to fully commit to zoo exclusivity.

A few (lonely) years passed and I met a female dog for who I felt things I could never feel for any human. I knew then I had no choice but to embrace the zoo exclusive lifestyle. It was who I was, and there was no turning back. I had already been longing for a relationship with a bitch for a few years before, but then having felt that for an actual dog who appeared to be everything I could ever ask for made that as solid as stone. We had to part ways, and I never saw her again. That point in my life marked the start of my descent into Hell. It warped my mind. Everything I could think about was having my own doggy girlfriend and everything I did was towards that end. Years passed with minimal dog contact and it made me very ill. I often considered suicide during that time.

My path thankfully led me to meet many dogs since then. I even managed to (finally) adopt one, too. And while I’m incredibly thankful for all for all that, I still never had a chance to enjoy intimacy with any dog. It’s driving me crazy. I’m afraid the lack of sex will drive me to resent my current companion. I’m already seeing it happening. When I first met her, I loved her so much. I wanted her to be “the one” like no other. But now I’m not seeing that ever happening. On my side of things, the relationship is deteriorating a bit more every day. It makes me feel like a monster, but I can’t help it. I am not satisfied with her and I’m getting increasingly unhappy with my current predicament. I’m already thinking about adopting more dogs, but my current situation doesn’t allow it and I despair.

I feel like everything is going from bad to worse. The economy is shit. Getting into a stable condition and living by yourself, especially in a house, seems to turn into a pipe dream just a bit more every day. Everything is getting so expensive and salaries don’t keep up. Younger people or anyone who couldn’t get ahead in life when the time was right are left with very little to aspire to in life. And on top of that, every week it seems there’s new law against bestiality somewhere in the world. While I’m aware laws aren’t the end of the world and that if you are smart about what you are doing the likelihood of getting caught is small, the practice is getting attention in the public eye and that is undeniable. A lot of what saved zoos in the past I feel is that society didn’t care much about it. For some reason or another, people care now. And that can be felt in the community. People are paranoid. It’s almost impossible to meet another zoo nowadays (and believe me, I did try.) Very few are willing to produce content and share it. I don’t blame anybody. I’m the same, really.

In many parts of the world, sterilizing animals is at best common practice or at worst mandatory and many animals are robbed of their sexuality because of that. Trying to find a partner by meeting dogs that aren’t yours is a waste of time.

I don’t have a problem with being zoo in and of itself. I’m not ashamed of this sexuality. I don’t feel guilty because of it. But the life it forces me to live is simply awful. I visit places like this forum and I get so envious of others… I know it’s not healthy to compare to others, but I seemingly can’t help it. So many people get so lucky while others get absolutely nothing. I know my life could be much worse and some will be eager to point that out to me. I am aware of that. But no amount of knowing how others have it worse brings any happiness in my life. All the people in my life have relationships. Even my other zoo friends have (zoo) relationships. I feel like I’m missing out. I feel like some perpetual child who never seems to make it to the next step.

I’ve been zoo my whole life, and it has never once felt like a blessing. I read others here saying it's a blessing, but I just can’t see it. It’s a curse. It makes me long for things I just can’t seem to manifest in my life and swallows my entire existence in this downwards vortex that never ends. It has never brought me anything but pain, sadness and yearning. Once again, I reach a point where I see no way out of this nightmare except suicide. The desires are never satisfied, the frustration builds up and there is no outlet for it. I think about suicide on a daily basis...

Well, that’s all the bullshit off my chest. Thanks for reading.

This is going to be a wall of self-pity. Readers beware. I just need to vent, and hopefully hear something encouraging from people who have more experience in life than I do.

For as long as I can remember, I had sexual interest towards animals. When I was young, I looked forward to every occasion I had to be alone with the family’s dog. I knew even back then nothing much would happen. He was old but the time I started exploring my sexuality, small and neutered. But even if there wasn’t much we could do, I wanted to be with him. To feel him against my naked body. It filled me with such excitement. Growing up, I never had much interest in girls, or boys for that matter, but I kept the option open because it was the “normal” thing to do. I had a few short relationships with a few girls, but they were mostly glorified friendships rather than anything romantic and none of these relationships ever resulted in sex. When I was around 17 or 18, I took a good hard look at my life and realized that chasing women wasn’t for me, and that longing for a “normal” relationship just for the sake of being normal was doing me more harm than good. I decided then to fully commit to zoo exclusivity.

A few (lonely) years passed and I met a female dog for who I felt things I could never feel for any human. I knew then I had no choice but to embrace the zoo exclusive lifestyle. It was who I was, and there was no turning back. I had already been longing for a relationship with a bitch for a few years before, but then having felt that for an actual dog who appeared to be everything I could ever ask for made that as solid as stone. We had to part ways, and I never saw her again. That point in my life marked the start of my descent into Hell. It warped my mind. Everything I could think about was having my own doggy girlfriend and everything I did was towards that end. Years passed with minimal dog contact and it made me very ill. I often considered suicide during that time.

My path thankfully led me to meet many dogs since then. I even managed to (finally) adopt one, too. And while I’m incredibly thankful for all for all that, I still never had a chance to enjoy intimacy with any dog. It’s driving me crazy. I’m afraid the lack of sex will drive me to resent my current companion. I’m already seeing it happening. When I first met her, I loved her so much. I wanted her to be “the one” like no other. But now I’m not seeing that ever happening. On my side of things, the relationship is deteriorating a bit more every day. It makes me feel like a monster, but I can’t help it. I am not satisfied with her and I’m getting increasingly unhappy with my current predicament. I’m already thinking about adopting more dogs, but my current situation doesn’t allow it and I despair.

I feel like everything is going from bad to worse. The economy is shit. Getting into a stable condition and living by yourself, especially in a house, seems to turn into a pipe dream just a bit more every day. Everything is getting so expensive and salaries don’t keep up. Younger people or anyone who couldn’t get ahead in life when the time was right are left with very little to aspire to in life. And on top of that, every week it seems there’s new law against bestiality somewhere in the world. While I’m aware laws aren’t the end of the world and that if you are smart about what you are doing the likelihood of getting caught is small, the practice is getting attention in the public eye and that is undeniable. A lot of what saved zoos in the past I feel is that society didn’t care much about it. For some reason or another, people care now. And that can be felt in the community. People are paranoid. It’s almost impossible to meet another zoo nowadays (and believe me, I did try.) Very few are willing to produce content and share it. I don’t blame anybody. I’m the same, really.

In many parts of the world, sterilizing animals is at best common practice or at worst mandatory and many animals are robbed of their sexuality because of that. Trying to find a partner by meeting dogs that aren’t yours is a waste of time.

I don’t have a problem with being zoo in and of itself. I’m not ashamed of this sexuality. I don’t feel guilty because of it. But the life it forces me to live is simply awful. I visit places like this forum and I get so envious of others… I know it’s not healthy to compare to others, but I seemingly can’t help it. So many people get so lucky while others get absolutely nothing. I know my life could be much worse and some will be eager to point that out to me. I am aware of that. But no amount of knowing how others have it worse brings any happiness in my life. All the people in my life have relationships. Even my other zoo friends have (zoo) relationships. I feel like I’m missing out. I feel like some perpetual child who never seems to make it to the next step.

I’ve been zoo my whole life, and it has never once felt like a blessing. I read others here saying it's a blessing, but I just can’t see it. It’s a curse. It makes me long for things I just can’t seem to manifest in my life and swallows my entire existence in this downwards vortex that never ends. It has never brought me anything but pain, sadness and yearning. Once again, I reach a point where I see no way out of this nightmare except suicide. The desires are never satisfied, the frustration builds up and there is no outlet for it. I think about suicide on a daily basis...

Well, that’s all the bullshit off my chest. Thanks for reading.

I feel the same way, I think I'm a monster, sick and I don't think I deserve good things to happen to me! And I wanted to understand why I was born that way, I was always attracted to dogs and when I was a child I loved watching beauty and the beast, when the beast became human I hated it! I liked the wild version, and then when I entered adolescence I fell in love with a border collie dog it was beautiful! he was black and white and very intelligent, the dog was a mascot of a canine products store, I was just going to buy things from there just to look at him, I had no loving contact with humans and I never felt anything for them ! I thought I was a lesbian and wanted to believe that I was but I'm not

 

[Juan Lobo]

En muchas partes del mundo, esterilizar animales es, en el mejor de los casos, una práctica común o, en el peor de los casos, obligatoria, y muchos animales son despojados de su sexualidad debido a eso. Intentar encontrar pareja conociendo perros que no son tuyos es una pérdida de tiempo.

Never in my life will I understand why there is such an obsession with depriving animals of their sexuality.

 

[Ouinq~]

Wow I know the bulk if this post is years old now but it helped a lot to read. I hope everyone involved has found some sembance of fulfillment since then. Being exclusively in love with pigs hasn't been a mental cakewalk by any means. They frown on making catcalls down at the state fair. Can't even own a pig where I live, I can barely remember what they smell like. They can be as gentle and soft as a dog though. I sympathize with anyone who struggles with these definitions of love.

 

[Doggyluv]

This is going to be a wall of self-pity. Readers beware. I just need to vent, and hopefully hear something encouraging from people who have more experience in life than I do.

For as long as I can remember, I had sexual interest towards animals. When I was young, I looked forward to every occasion I had to be alone with the family’s dog. I knew even back then nothing much would happen. He was old but the time I started exploring my sexuality, small and neutered. But even if there wasn’t much we could do, I wanted to be with him. To feel him against my naked body. It filled me with such excitement. Growing up, I never had much interest in girls, or boys for that matter, but I kept the option open because it was the “normal” thing to do. I had a few short relationships with a few girls, but they were mostly glorified friendships rather than anything romantic and none of these relationships ever resulted in sex. When I was around 17 or 18, I took a good hard look at my life and realized that chasing women wasn’t for me, and that longing for a “normal” relationship just for the sake of being normal was doing me more harm than good. I decided then to fully commit to zoo exclusivity.

A few (lonely) years passed and I met a female dog for who I felt things I could never feel for any human. I knew then I had no choice but to embrace the zoo exclusive lifestyle. It was who I was, and there was no turning back. I had already been longing for a relationship with a bitch for a few years before, but then having felt that for an actual dog who appeared to be everything I could ever ask for made that as solid as stone. We had to part ways, and I never saw her again. That point in my life marked the start of my descent into Hell. It warped my mind. Everything I could think about was having my own doggy girlfriend and everything I did was towards that end. Years passed with minimal dog contact and it made me very ill. I often considered suicide during that time.

My path thankfully led me to meet many dogs since then. I even managed to (finally) adopt one, too. And while I’m incredibly thankful for all for all that, I still never had a chance to enjoy intimacy with any dog. It’s driving me crazy. I’m afraid the lack of sex will drive me to resent my current companion. I’m already seeing it happening. When I first met her, I loved her so much. I wanted her to be “the one” like no other. But now I’m not seeing that ever happening. On my side of things, the relationship is deteriorating a bit more every day. It makes me feel like a monster, but I can’t help it. I am not satisfied with her and I’m getting increasingly unhappy with my current predicament. I’m already thinking about adopting more dogs, but my current situation doesn’t allow it and I despair.

I feel like everything is going from bad to worse. The economy is shit. Getting into a stable condition and living by yourself, especially in a house, seems to turn into a pipe dream just a bit more every day. Everything is getting so expensive and salaries don’t keep up. Younger people or anyone who couldn’t get ahead in life when the time was right are left with very little to aspire to in life. And on top of that, every week it seems there’s new law against bestiality somewhere in the world. While I’m aware laws aren’t the end of the world and that if you are smart about what you are doing the likelihood of getting caught is small, the practice is getting attention in the public eye and that is undeniable. A lot of what saved zoos in the past I feel is that society didn’t care much about it. For some reason or another, people care now. And that can be felt in the community. People are paranoid. It’s almost impossible to meet another zoo nowadays (and believe me, I did try.) Very few are willing to produce content and share it. I don’t blame anybody. I’m the same, really.

In many parts of the world, sterilizing animals is at best common practice or at worst mandatory and many animals are robbed of their sexuality because of that. Trying to find a partner by meeting dogs that aren’t yours is a waste of time.

I don’t have a problem with being zoo in and of itself. I’m not ashamed of this sexuality. I don’t feel guilty because of it. But the life it forces me to live is simply awful. I visit places like this forum and I get so envious of others… I know it’s not healthy to compare to others, but I seemingly can’t help it. So many people get so lucky while others get absolutely nothing. I know my life could be much worse and some will be eager to point that out to me. I am aware of that. But no amount of knowing how others have it worse brings any happiness in my life. All the people in my life have relationships. Even my other zoo friends have (zoo) relationships. I feel like I’m missing out. I feel like some perpetual child who never seems to make it to the next step.

I’ve been zoo my whole life, and it has never once felt like a blessing. I read others here saying it's a blessing, but I just can’t see it. It’s a curse. It makes me long for things I just can’t seem to manifest in my life and swallows my entire existence in this downwards vortex that never ends. It has never brought me anything but pain, sadness and yearning. Once again, I reach a point where I see no way out of this nightmare except suicide. The desires are never satisfied, the frustration builds up and there is no outlet for it. I think about suicide on a daily basis...

Well, that’s all the bullshit off my chest. Thanks for reading.

I have felt and still feel on occasion the exact same way. Please reach out to me if you would like to talk because I can definitely relate. Things get better and easier I promise

 

[Twelvepaws]

Your biggest problem is depression. It takes away all your strength and because of this you never reach your goals. I live in central Europe in a medium-quality country, and my salary is slightly above low. With this situation, most people keep 1 dog. Nevertheless, I have a lot dogs and we are happy. There are times when I can't even buy my favorite pizza...
You deal with things that are unimportant. This is also a sign of depression. Neutering exists (unfortunately), but is only mandatory in some countries. It can often be avoided in those too. Etc. It is unnecessary to deal with this, unnecessary negative information.

If you can solve your depression, you will have a dog companion in no time.
Regardless, the exclusive life is very difficult. You do everything alone and are also responsible for the life of your canine companion. Dogs live much shorter lives, they catch diseases more easily, you can't talk about your life in the zoo in public. And besides these, there will also be the basic difficulties of life.
It's hard, but it's beautiful. There are very few exclusive people and this makes you, your life, very valuable. The exclusive zoo people transfer all their vibrations only and exclusively to their animal companions, and devote all their energy to them. It's a treasure. You are valuable. Exclusive people have always been a special group of zoophiles.