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I Have...something you did because you were Horny

- silently wanking while my parents were sleeping in the same bed as me (we had to sleep in the same bed for just a night or two as we were moving to another place shortly after)

- cumming into my own face (post nut clarity just hits different when you do that ?)
 
Anyone who's been in the US military can relate. Spent my time having to run the floor buffer enjoying the feel of the handlebar pulsing against my junk. I thought the handles being non-adjustable and set so low was stupid until running the buffer for a few minutes was getting a reaction from my penis.

Then it was a question of hiding my boner while doing an hours long job of polishing the barracks floor and hoping I wasn't going to make a mess when I came. I wonder if women going through Basic Training enjoyed their floor buffing duty in a similar way?
It is reportedly a enjoyed event by select people I've met
 
I've wasted too much money trying to find a toy for men that is the same or better than an actual vagina. From my experience, it doesn't exist.
 
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