I have not been active in well over a decade and I still go through periods of guilt and shame over it. I created this account here to help me continue to deal with it and it really does help to talk about something I don't dare to with anybody I know in my life.
Having held on to it so tightly and for as long as I have I think the hiding part only contributes to and enhances the guilt. I have not yet found any answers or tricks to make it go away and honestly I was hoping there would be more discussion of this here and I really haven't seen much of it at all. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places for it but maybe it's a part that most people, including me, don't really want to face and work through.
You shouldn't feel shame or guilt unless you harmed someone or an animal.
I've seen enough in person now to full heartedly believe that these special critters are not stupid and full well know what they are doing when they do it, and are not only willing, but WANTING.
You aren't bad or evil for having the desire or thoughts. They are part of you and no loving God would put that there to torture you!
On the contrary. I feel those like us are actually more connected to nature and how things really are, and I feel it is society that is really blind.
We at least have reasons for doing what we do, and that also extends to who we do it with. If the reason is because we love and want to, then that is good enough.
What reason can society claim for shaming us? Because a book says so? Because they say so? Because beyond those reasons, which are baseless in themselves, there exists NO other reason.
Be proud of who you are! I know my pup loves his life, and us happy, and I will make no apologies for loving him.
I'm proud to know how much he loves me!
I know he's been better to me than any human ever has, and who's fault is that?
So realize that many humans are shit bags, and love trying to force their agenda and beliefs onto others to make themselves feel better at another's expense.
They ate the ones that need to be feeling shame and guilt for how they've treated not just other people, but animals as well.