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Bad Genie

Granted. There is so much porn of that now, that there is actually no other porn and the entire world is out to get you for ruining their fun.

I wish I had a blank white 9"x11" sheet of paper.
Granted. It's been through a shredder, but it's still paper.

I wish I was god.
 
The Genie sadly reports the demise of the next poster, died mid-coitus after 33 hours straight sex with several men, women a dogs. Closed casket, Mortician can’t get the scary grin on the face, off.

I wish everyone had a insatiable bestiality compulsion
 
Granted. Everybody dies of exhaustion within a few weeks.

I wish I had a wardrobe that always has something nice for me to wear.
 
Granted. Every psychology student will know about the experiments that will be done on you.

I wish cakes and pies would have half of their calory
 
Granted. You do a terrible job though and everyone wants to stage a coup d'etat.

I wish climate change would be solved
 
Granted. Yellowstone erupts and the world now has a long ice age.

I wish I was a demigod.
 
Granted, you are now the least known and popular part of mythology, but some guys will surely write some hot fanfiction about you in the future.

I wish people on this forum wouldn't be such assholes to each other
 
Granted. You replied to the post but missed out on your next five-year hookup.

I wish I had a house made of solid gold.
 
Granted. You are now a komodo dragon and live as an endangered species on an island with nothing more than other komodos.

I wish I was all-knowing.
 
Granted. Human males like to fuck elephants too though. Also good luck fitting one of their cocks in you.

I wish I was better at thinking of things I wish for in this thread.

Not less than 1000 letters
 
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