I haven't responded to one of these yet, I'm in the right mood, and I feel more comfortable with myself now to share.
that said. This is also a bit anticlimactic through my road to acceptance, as being able to identify the apocryphal in my lore is...uncertain!
I'm not not sure where this burning passionate love and desire I have for animal companion ship began. Just something that over time became more pronounced in my life over time. Which tells me that I can't give 1 story that ties anything back it was just a combination of things. Mixed with life experiences, that put me on this path.
But I do have 1 story in mind that I can hm back to that at least made me aware, immediately that I was interested in animals intimately, and never got an opportunity to explore it again, but it's impact on me gave me this burning impression that never left me and kept me interested in learning more and getting to know more people in this community to bring me where I am now where I no longer feel it necessary to be in denial about who I am.
So when after I had graduated from school, my family got 2 dogs. I won't say the breeds. I had exposure to dogs before this point but this was the first time learning to live with, and take care of them. This was also around the time when I was experimenting with my identity, and sexuality, as I wasn't sure what was yet, the only thing I knew for certain that never went away was that I was gay and loved dick, and at that time I was begining to explore crossdressing. I had a desire to be more feminine, its really hard to explain why unless I go into my life at that time. But I wanted to be a woman, and had fantasies, and desires of seeking male companionship and playing a more stereotypical feminine role, being a woman for a man, wanting, and craving that dynamic. This isn't super important to the story just. That's where it came from, and I started exploring this by crossdressing. I toke an interest in tight short shorts that would essentially have my groan squeezed under the shorts.
1 day I was going to the store with a friend and I was wearing this super cute tiel hoodie and these purple super tight short shorts. When I came home the dogs rushed to the door, excited to see me, and my friend, as they did. Now. One of them was super erratic as he was younger, and moved around a lot. Somehow I spilled something on myself and don't even remember how but my dog smelt that, and while my friend was turned around. He rushed up to my groan, pressed his snoot hard on my groan. Which put me in a very vulnerable, yet very... I don't know what id call that. Where just his snoot there. Feeling the warm air from his snoot, knowing he was male, just. Asserting himself like that. Made me flustered so much it turned to pleasure. As if. Subconsciously I became a bitch unknowingly waiting for his lead, not wanting to move from this curious explorative male. Then after a few seconds passed he began lapping my bulge for a few seconds, and the pleasure was unlike anything I felt before, that I almost fell over. I almost slipped up too and thank goodness this didn't happen because the embarrassment in that moment would have killed me inside. But I almost let out a very loud feminine yelp? I managed to cover my mouth before I did... So if I was also in denial about being effeminately gay too? Yeah I wouldn't have been able to lie to myself going forward at that point.
I never did anything beyond that though and sadly, we didn't keep the dogs much longer after that, as had to move, and the place we were moving to didn't allow for dogs. Such simple exposure right? That feeling did something to me in that moment that I can't even tell you or explain the psychology of it especially since it's not really black and white. Id like to say that was when I knew I had sexual desires for being mated by an canine. Because I kinda knew that already but it wasn't as extreme until after that point. It sort of unlocked this need now to be put in those vulnerable positions to be with a guy where we loved each other knowing when he came home if he wanted intimacy. Wanted sex. He could make me stop anything and just go feral because that also made me feel really. Really good.
But that was what unlocked it in me? I didn't want that from guys. I thought I did and tried. But I've known since then. I want that from an alpha, that he could claim me as his bitch and whenever he wanted sex I was his to mount. But I never explored it due to never being In a position to own a dog, and because I lacked confidence I was capable at that time I felt to take care of a dog on my own id need to learn more first about that, and then learn about the yes's and no's of having that connection with a canine to, not hurt them, or myself, in the pursuit of this exploration. Of course that led me down a lot of resources, eventually led me here, and other forums. Now I accept this is why I am, and i know what I'm seeking in life for companionship.
So I just scrolled through and am now realized just how long this post is. It's a lot and this is my second time sharing this story on here, but this is the first time sharing it in full. If you read the whole thing. I hope you enjoyed how 1 small intimate moment became the sail that set me at sea!