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What keeps you going.....

Mesond said:
Conviction.

I get results because I risk all to gain all. Every time. Losing everything can do that.

If you're afraid of "looking stupid" then you're holding back. There's a good reason a jester makes a good spy.

It's all a game. I'm toying with it all. Without being a demanding douchbag about it. Meanwhile other idiots get it wrong and fall into despair. Pretending to be in control when in reality they don't even consider their own flaws. Little by little it eats away at people. Like a cancer. Avoid. Ignore. Push away. Again and again. Turning people slowly hollow.

I wasn't going to let that be me. Fuck the "rules" and "social norms". Fuck the obligations and entitlement. I had to challenge it more. That's when I started turning my life around.

I don't try to obtain a "goal". If you do that then you'll want another. Instead I give direction. Wherever I follow the direction of another depends on wherever they can do their own thing enough. It's something to encourage by getting people to "fight back". Do your own thing. Most others will take things as a "personal attack". I'd rather smile when people show courage. Letting myself be a target does wonders. It's even saved lives.

Most people punish courage and reward cowardice. It's no wonder so many people get depressed. All this teaches people is to ignore concerns and avoid communication. It only teaches people to suffer in silence. The fact that people don't mean to do it makes it worse, not better.
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I guess I'm different from most people. If I was going to follow your advice then I'd be in a place I don't want to be in. There are SO MANY illegal things I would do if I was being myself and I'd likely be in prison for a lifetime with all of the non-violent felonies I'd commit. Not worth it.
 
I haven’t found much purpose, but I can say that I haven’t given up either because the people in my life keep me searching. Good people are rare these days, so the least I can do is be there for the ones worth caring about.
 
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