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Trying to get her interested

This morning I was play mounting and rubbing myself on her cookie. Nudging my cock head against her and grinding. After a moment I stopped and she turned around and started licking my cock. Which she has never done before.

She isn't a lick-y dog in general and doesn't lick my face or anything, she will only very very rarely give a quick little kiss when she is in an extremely good mood. So having her turn around and lick me after I was playing with her seems encouraging.
 
It's wonderful that you are being careful to consider her feelings, but I think you may be erring rather far on the side of caution. Based on what I've read, she's been giving you some very positive signs that she is open to a sexual relationship. For example when you touched her and she flagged, you dismissed this as an instinctive reaction. However, flagging is not an involuntary action. A dog can and will tuck her tail between her legs when being touched if she wishes to indicate she is unhappy with the touch. That she flags for you instead is her clearly saying, "I like this, please do more."
I am a little puzzled why you would think to try anal when you are still unsure of vaginal, as generally speaking only a few dogs are even just ok with anal.
 
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You could be right. She does give me mixed signals sometimes though. She'll flag her tail but also pull away. Or alternately, have her tail tucked only to flag it when I pet her (in heat), then immediately tuck it against after I stop petting. So I'm definitely erring on the side of caution.

The big thing, for me, is that she is a very nervous dog by nature. She used to be very reactive and she still has a tendency to get scared in any situation unfamiliar to her. I can't take her to the pet store for instance without her turning into a shaking mess. So all of the effort I'm putting in is in hope that she DOES like sex, but is just scared of it the same way she's nervous about most things. So I take it very very slow and hope that all the contact normalizes it for her.

I figure I'll know for sure during her next heat when I'll try to be a bit more proactive and see what she's comfortable with. For now it's just a matter of waiting and making little contact where I can.

E: oh and the anal thing is just me having a penchant for butts anyway, and the fact that she reacted positively to a bit of touching. Though I haven't really done anything back there anyway beyond what was previously mentioned.
 
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mrcrazy123 said:
She'll flag her tail but also pull away. Or alternately, have her tail tucked only to flag it when I pet her (in heat), then immediately tuck it against after I stop petting.
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You never mentioned before that she was actually tucking her tail. Why is she tucking before you even start touching her? Is she in a state of fear when you start your activities?
 
Not really, no. She's just a nervous dog as far as I can tell. She'll grumble and tuck her tail because she heard somebody talking in the hallway outside the apartment or w/e.

She's not scared of me and she is always coming up and asking for cuddles. She's a rescue and I got her when she was somewhere between 1 and 1.5 years old. She used to just be scared all the time, would hide in the bathroom alot or w/e, it's been a long process making her happy and comfortable. The sexual stuff has always been a secondary concern and I don't push it on her.
 
Tail tucking is an extremely negative reaction that indicates fear in most situations, or rejection of sexual advances specifically when a male is showing her attention. If she is tucking at all, it's not the right time to try anything.
 
amorousdog5 said:
Tail tucking is an extremely negative reaction that indicates fear in most situations, or rejection of sexual advances specifically when a male is showing her attention. If she is tucking at all, it's not the right time to try anything.
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You are right that tail tucking is negative reaction but I think you do not understand separation of stimulus. My girl tucks her tail under her while eating. Is she fearful of the food, is she fearful of other dogs eating nearby. Any could be correct but what we can't know is which imagined event she is fearful of.

The same with sexual advances they may not fear the males advances but fear some event they have imagined. Or if they have been bred before they may fear the knot being pulled out.

My girl is a similar nervous girl and we have progressed from being scared in every situation to having sex doggy style and trying to progress to missionary. It has taken 3+ years of patiently working with every situation and moving forward.

The zoomies of an orgasming 120lb dog is something to be scared of.

So your comment is not valid on a number of levels as a dog can go from tail tucked to happy in a second once her unfounded fears are proved wrong.
 
Black_Unicorn said:
You are right that tail tucking is negative reaction but I think you do not understand separation of stimulus. My girl tucks her tail under her while eating. Is she fearful of the food, is she fearful of other dogs eating nearby. Any could be correct but what we can't know is which imagined event she is fearful of.

The same with sexual advances they may not fear the males advances but fear some event they have imagined. Or if they have been bred before they may fear the knot being pulled out.

My girl is a similar nervous girl and we have progressed from being scared in every situation to having sex doggy style and trying to progress to missionary. It has taken 3+ years of patiently working with every situation and moving forward.

The zoomies of an orgasming 120lb dog is something to be scared of.

So your comment is not valid on a number of levels as a dog can go from tail tucked to happy in a second once her unfounded fears are proved wrong.
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Certainly past trauma can cause dogs to tuck for reasons only they imagine, but I maintain that while they are in this state is not the right time to be trying anything sexual. Soothe them as you normally would depending on the severity of their trauma, in this case he claims she is not afraid of him so I would think normal petting and speaking in a gentle voice would be appropriate. Only when they are relaxed and happy is it time to make any sort of advance, and certainly you would stop immediately if they were to tuck at that point.
I would say that regardless of what she may or may not be imagining, tucking when you touch her is her clearly saying, "No." If you continue despite this, thinking she'll get over it, then that is rape.
Instead be patient. In time, as you continue to treat her well, she will come to believe in her heart that you will never hurt her. This was my experience with my girl who was rescued from an abusive situation.
 
I mean, that's why I'm taking things slow yes. Also there are degrees of 'tail tuck' that I see out of her. There's the extreme amount when something really scares her like a thunderstorm, but there's also just the 'tail is down and still' that she does when it's just some amount of background nervousness.

I assure you I'm not running up and trying to fondle her despite her being scared or anything.

If she doesn't want me to do anything than I straight up don't want it anyway. Her enjoyment is fundamentally part of my enjoyment. This thread is more about me figuring out whether she CAN get there, and then HOW to do it. If it's not meant to be then so it goes.

Further, I do think she will get there based on the last few months. Though it's hard to be sure. Like other's have said, this is a multi year process.
 
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mrcrazy123 said:
but there's also just the 'tail is down and still' that she does when it's just some amount of background nervousness.
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We may have been talking about different things then; I don't consider this to be tail tucking. Tucking is when the tail starts to curl inward between her legs. In that case I'd say you are doing well, and support your idea to be a bit more proactive over the next heat.
 
To clarify, based on what you describe I don't think she is tucking and I don't think she is responding negatively. With her tail in the more neutral down position, and based on your description of her behavior, I would say she is not afraid but simply wary. This would make a lot of sense based on your difficulty getting her interested in sex, as a wary dog is not a relaxed dog.
Unfortunately this is where I have very little experience, as all my girls have been the lazy couch-cushion type. I would say there's nothing wrong with making advances while she is in this state, but you'll have to try to distract her and relax her so that she can more easily start thinking about sex.
 
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Pretty sure her heat is starting soon. I kind of want to wait to post until I'm more sure, but I'm too excited. She isn't bleeding yet but I think it's a bit swollen and it feels a bit different against my hand. A few behavior changes I've noticed and I've been paying close attention for a couple days, so i think so. Could be a false positive though.

I've been continuing to lightly play and stuff and she's been flagging a bit as I rub her these past couple days. She'll still get nervous and pull away if I do more than just gentle teasing, but she's definitely holding her tail aside and enjoying the attention at least a little.
 
That is great, this is the chart I use to know what part of the cycle she is in.

You still have a bit of a wait, but not too long.

My girl is going great and she really enjoys orgasms. I can do her doggy style and she allows me to lay over her but still she is unsure about missionary position.
 

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Thanks for the words of encouragement. We'll find out soon. I've waited so long I'm trying to continue to be patient and not push her for another week or so until the heat is in full swing.

Still rubbing/teasing with my hand, still play mounting with her and being affectionate. I'll wait for next tuesday or so and see what happens.
 
When I first mated my dog we did missionary only because that's what she was most comfortable with. She enjoyed rolling onto her back, getting tummy rubs, and that led naturally to me giving her attention in that pose. I don't think it's necessary or wise to manually move your dog, just let her take whatever posture she's comfortable with. If that ends up leading to doggy rather than missionary, then that's what is more natural for her.
 
amorousdog5 said:
When I first mated my dog we did missionary only because that's what she was most comfortable with. She enjoyed rolling onto her back, getting tummy rubs, and that led naturally to me giving her attention in that pose. I don't think it's necessary or wise to manually move your dog, just let her take whatever posture she's comfortable with. If that ends up leading to doggy rather than missionary, then that's what is more natural for her.
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This is what I did my first time and nearly every time after that. She just seemed to prefer missionary.
Also the tail works rather well as an indicator.
You can always tell by the position of her tail. The tail is a huge communication tool for dogs.
If you touch and the tail goes up GREEN LIGHT! but if it ever goes down RED LIGHT!
Even in missionary she will either lay her tail out flat on the bed (and wag) or she will tuck it up between her legs and kinda curl up to tell me no.
 
Okay, so the good news is she is definitely interested.

After being a little more forward (and also her heat progressing) she is at the point where I can kneel at her side and give her pets/comfort, then slide a hand under her tail and she'll flag while I play with her. I've been trying to get her to orgasm but the best I've managed so far is some pussy clenching.

She even let me kneel down behind her and give her oral.

On the other hand I think she might be too small (barely) to do anything.

I can get two fingers into her, but it's a tight fit. I know if she was happy and relaxed it would loosen up some, but she's a nervous girl and even though she'll stand there and let me do it, she's not 100% relaxed as she does it.

I tried to give her some attention and used some lubed fingers on her for awhile, working two fingers into her as far as i could, and then try to get myself in after that. Using plenty of lube. But the angle to get inside is kind of tough, and it's hard to maintain an erection wen you're just sorta struggling to find out how to get it in lol. Maybe if I was some 20 year old who could maintain an iron rod without effort, but my nerves get to me as I'm trying to get it in behind her. Even then she's real tight.

Still, it's progress and it's hot to finger her. I'll definitely do more oral on her as well, maybe she'll let me do that while lying on the bed so I can really relax and go to town on her. I'll keep trying to stretch her a bit with my fingers. I feel like it's possible to get it in, and two fingers definitely isn't making her uncomfortable. Either way, feels pretty good to have that relationship with her.
 
mrcrazy123 said:
But the angle to get inside is kind of tough, and it's hard to maintain an erection wen you're just sorta struggling to find out how to get it in lol.
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I can totally sympathize with this. With my first girl I couldn't figure out how to get in, and while she was happy enough to let me poke around for a couple minutes, eventually she got impatient and moved away.

Trial and error! You're doing great, and it's wonderful that she's enjoying the oral and fingering. :gsd_happysmile:
 
mrcrazy123 said:
Okay, so the good news is she is definitely interested.

After being a little more forward (and also her heat progressing) she is at the point where I can kneel at her side and give her pets/comfort, then slide a hand under her tail and she'll flag while I play with her. I've been trying to get her to orgasm but the best I've managed so far is some pussy clenching.

She even let me kneel down behind her and give her oral.

On the other hand I think she might be too small (barely) to do anything.

I can get two fingers into her, but it's a tight fit. I know if she was happy and relaxed it would loosen up some, but she's a nervous girl and even though she'll stand there and let me do it, she's not 100% relaxed as she does it.

I tried to give her some attention and used some lubed fingers on her for awhile, working two fingers into her as far as i could, and then try to get myself in after that. Using plenty of lube. But the angle to get inside is kind of tough, and it's hard to maintain an erection wen you're just sorta struggling to find out how to get it in lol. Maybe if I was some 20 year old who could maintain an iron rod without effort, but my nerves get to me as I'm trying to get it in behind her. Even then she's real tight.

Still, it's progress and it's hot to finger her. I'll definitely do more oral on her as well, maybe she'll let me do that while lying on the bed so I can really relax and go to town on her. I'll keep trying to stretch her a bit with my fingers. I feel like it's possible to get it in, and two fingers definitely isn't making her uncomfortable. Either way, feels pretty good to have that relationship with her.
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Sounds like you're right on track. No need to rush it. Just a little trial and error.
 
SaltyDog said:
I feel it's time to try missionary, like I've stated on the 23rd of last month. And even though amorousdog5 is not a fan of "maneuvering" a dog into position, here I feel it's warranted because she's so wary of life in general. Plus, there's the added benefit of this position significantly reducing the entry angle to nearly nothing, for most guys.

Hope this helps ?
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Certainly this would make entering her much easier, but I would say good things are worth the extra effort. If she is happy to lie on her back of her own accord, that is wonderful. Otherwise I would stay the course. Entering in doggy is more difficult, but you will figure it out eventually.
 
SaltyDog said:
I feel it's time to try missionary, like I've stated on the 23rd of last month. And even though amorousdog5 is not a fan of "maneuvering" a dog into position, here I feel it's warranted because she's so wary of life in general. Plus, there's the added benefit of this position significantly reducing the entry angle to nearly nothing, for most guys.

Hope this helps ?
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She isn't comfortable on her back. She'll fight and squirm if I try so I don't think it's an option.
 
mrcrazy123 said:
I can get two fingers into her, but it's a tight fit. I know if she was happy and relaxed it would loosen up some, but she's a nervous girl and even though she'll stand there and let me do it, she's not 100% relaxed as she does it.
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When she gets to the last stage of heat she will open up a bit. The swelling we see externally is happening to the whole vagina.

Yes when fumbling the angle is hard to get. People say sex with animals is rape but if a female is scared or not demanding sex entry is not easy. When they are hot to trot they play a part in getting parts to align.
 
Had a good day today. She was laying on her dog bed and I managed to sit down beside her and start petting her and cuddling and ended up lubing up a couple fingers and fingering her until she orgasmed while she just lay there happily. Rubbed her clit alot but also got two fingers in her and was pumping them in and out fairly hard and without having her show any signs of discomfort. Which should be a good sign I can fit inside at least.

She has relaxed a huge amount over the past month or so. It's very encouraging. Didn't do much for the week or two after her heat, just wanted to give her some time to relax, but she definitely enjoys some fingering now.

The way she lay there and I could see her body quiver and tremble with arousal and feel her squeeze on my fingers was so hot.
 
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