Top things not to say during sex

[oldgoat75]

I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me. Not hearing those words but having him pee inside me.

I love that feeling...

 

[Michioliphant]

I’m sorry. I don’t really care what your name is. Here. Now. Your name is Bitch.

 

[oldgoat75]

I know i promised not to laugh but the is the smallest dick i have ever seen,,,hahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[saddlebum66]

I know you said we'd play "Grab Ass"....I just wonder how you got that Donkey up three Flights of Stairs?

 

[Michioliphant]

He: Ok, so what are all these leathers straps and buckles you have me tied with for?
She: Vengeance

 

[Cheekymonkey2021]

This reminds me...this one time...at band camp...???

 

[BeastLover]

Jesus, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

 

[LordBeastly]

It burns when I cum.

 

[oldgoat75]

The condom fell off

 

[saddlebum66]

Urrrrrp....damn....was that the Fava Beans, or the....

 

[Michioliphant]

Wow! I’ve never imagined so many pimples!

 

[bee18]

Is it in?

 

[Pillar]

Is it in?

Oh yeah, he's in... Can you feel me?

 

[oldgoat75]

last time you have beans for dinner

 

[bee18]

When comes the good feeling?

 

[Michioliphant]

Was that your priest who just walked in? Wait, let me get the gags off, you can’t speak that way.

 

[Pillar]

Was that your priest who just walked in? Wait, let me get the gags off, you can’t speak that way.

I knew he was in on it! ?

 

[oldgoat75]

O-U-C-H

 

[DurgyDurg]

Oh, damn it, my dick's all itchy again. Ah, well. Thanks for letting me in bareback.

 

[saddlebum66]

Martha, you left the toilet running again....go jiggle the handle

 

[PonyLove]

what's your name again?

 

[Steven Raccoon]

Telling your gf or wife that you're fucking at the moment that 'Damn! Your pussy is very loose, leathered and really arid just exactly as I remember how my dear great granny's cunt used to feel like. God bless her soul.'

 

[Kuvaszfucker111]

Nurse Nurse ?? Enema's FOR ALL MY FRIEND'S !!! gigglies

Ha Ha, even funnier considering when you have a bitch with megacolon, that is just a part of life

 

[Steven Raccoon]

Smell my smegma.

 

[Kuvaszfucker111]

(warning possibly offensive, but intended purely in jest.)

Sorry, I'm a zoophile, but I'm not into whales.

 

[Michioliphant]

Hmm taste good. By the way? See an oncologist.

 

[oldgoat75]

that was really lumpy,i think you have polyps

 

[RGT]

Excuse me for a moment, I don't think that was a fart.

 

[RGT]

Are you always this dry or am I just not doing it for you?

 

[PonyLove]

Are you in yet (from a girl's point of view)