Hello!
I am IHO, short for "InHeatOnline".
A couple decades back, I was very prevalent in the community. I had a few of my own websites, one of which showcased my own homemade porn and an another that was a TGP for men-with-female-animals galleries and websites. I was also a moderator in a forum hosted by the PetLust guys for a while.
I've been attracted to animals as far back as I can remember. My first sexual fantasies were about female animal Disney characters. I enjoyed masturbating with my animal plushies. I lost my virginity to a friend's German Shepherd that flagged me while I was in their bathroom (which is posted here in the Stories forum). I've fondled mares, and have had (unforced) sex with both dogs and sheep, and made some videos of some of those relations for myself, but have shared them for those who appreciate it. I hope to share more should I be so fortunate to have such relations again.
Zoophilia feels "normal" to me. I know the majority shuns it, and I have been wise enough from an early age to keep it to myself. I don't stress about it, nor have I ever felt guilt or shame. Now I call it my personal "happy place" that nobody knows about except in forums like ZooVille (which I love, by the way). The only 2 people In Real Life I feel I could have "come out" to are dead now, and I really have no desire to be open about it to anybody except in this environment, where not only do I love to read and participate in discussions, but also share media when possible.
I am very much a consensual lover. I absolutely will not force myself on an animal that shows any signs of disinterest or discomfort. I prefer it when THEY initiate the sexual interest. While I haven't surrounded myself with animals, I have been very fortunate to know a few that either came on to me themselves, or didn't care what I was doing with them.
You may have seen my video with Snow, the Sexy Alaskan Malamute. To be absolutely candid, she was the love-of-my-life thus far, and that was nearly 20 years ago. She was amazing, and very horny when in-heat, and also accepted me off-season. We were inseparable for many years. Unless there were "no dogs allowed", she was with me. And that was what was beautiful about her: she didn't care what I was doing or where I was going as long as she could come along. She was such a happy dog. Not once did I ever see her get aggressive with any other dog or human. She slept in my bed with me every night for many years. I had a connection with her that I've never felt with people. She was smart, too. She could think around problems and achieve her goals. I taught her hand signals that she would respond to as far away as she could see them. She was always there for me, and I was always there for her. I even had her spayed when she got older to protect her from pyometra because she was more important to me than the sex. When she died, I was a fucking wreck for a few years. Even self-destructive with alcohol to the point that I ended up in the hospital. I have not had a non-human lover since her. But I survived that loss, and here I am, existing.
After Snow, I shut down for many years. I disappeared from the online zoo/beast scene. I destroyed all my personal animal porn and pretended I was not a zoophile. I had a few human relationships that lasted for a few years - some as many as 7+ years - but eventually it fizzled out. People are so much more complicated. I can't blame them; it's their life, they want want they want and they should strive for that. But after time shared life paths and goals can become skewed and you're biting each other's heads off at every opportunity.
I have been on my own for many years since my last human relationship. I'm okay with that, but it can be lonely. I made a choice to be zoo exclusive, even though I didn't have any animal prospects. I have had many dogs since Snow, but none have been my lovers. I rescue dogs from shelters - mostly older dogs with their days numbered, and I keep no more than 2 at a time - but they have all been "fixed" before I adopted them and have no sexual interest. That is totally okay with me; I don't adopt seeking a sex partner. That's not my M.O. If I find one that seems to connect with me, I just want to bring them home and provide a happy home for them to live out their life in. I have had more than a few that have died or been put down in my arms, and I cry like a baby every time.
I'm 50. That's right. I can hardly believe it myself. Where does the time go? I'm the same age Fausty was when he died of cancer. I read the book about him... such a tragedy. I'm glad he found some joy doing the Zooier Than Thou podcast and a loving, accepting partner before he left us. I chatted with him on a few occasions and was always impressed with his knowledge and wisdom (and staggering vocabulary... there were words he used I had to look up). Wish I could have met him in person; we probably would have gotten along and had some laughs.
I like sharing my personal porn. I hope to have more to share in the near future. I'm not sure what the "thing" about it is, but I relish the appreciation from those who enjoy it. I am a voyeur and exhibitionist, I suppose. I like other people's animal porn (provided it's homemade and their partner is willing or indifferent), and sharing my own. The fact that most deem it an extreme taboo, immoral or in some places illegal only makes it that much more fun for me.
I feel normal. I have a good career, and consider myself a productive member of society. I interact with humans well enough, and most people seem to like me. They don't know I'm a zoosexual, of course. That's none of their business.
I have no desire to talk to a therapist. Why would I if I don't feel "broken", nor have any hangups about my sexuality? I have seen therapists for other things and they never told me anything about me I didn't already know, whether I was dealing with it directly or not. If I'm to talk to anyone about zoophilia, I'd rather it be with another zoo than a psycho analyst.
I recently came into possession of a new, young, intact girl. She's a cattle-dog mix and a handful. I love her to death, even if she is a pain in my ass sometimes. However, I am not "grooming" nor "training" her as a sex partner. It must happen naturally for me to be okay with it. She recently went through her first heat... which I posted some pictures of her cute, puffy vulva from... but I am resolute on not making it a sexual thing unless she does. Of course I hope she wants me when she's ready... I really, REALLY do, but it won't change how I feel about her or treat her if she doesn't show such interest in me. She will always have a happy, playful and safe home here regardless.
I like dogs more than people. I have never met a dog that didn't like me. Even those that are "mean" or "don't like strangers" seem to warm up to me eventually. And they are what keeps me sane and distracted from the chaos that is humanity.
So... am I crazy? I don't feel crazy. I feel totally normal and average. I am an introvert and social outcast, and I prefer it that way. I get along well enough with people, but I do not seek/crave their company, nor their approval. Am I a deviant pervert worthy of being shunned by society? If so, I don't really care. I LOVE being a zoophile, and I always have. I'm not prideful... it's not about that. As I've said in other posts, I don't really care about being "accepted" as a zoophile, I'd just prefer not to worry about legal issues over it. It's mine and mine alone. I only come out in environments such as ZooVille.
once you master it, It will be wonderous.
