This is an excellent question and very valid dilemma. Living within our values is essential for congruence and inner harmony. At the same time there’s a very real level of risk in this situation. Obviously, the pinnacle of that risk is that your absolute best friend and adoring lover could have his innocent life put into very real danger, and if god forbid the worst case scenario did unfold it’s unimaginable how you could ever truly recover from him being “put out of his misery” which is the phrase they would use instead of murdered. With this all in mind a complicated balancing act is in play. Perhaps the safest way would be to act in a slightly manipulative manner by first testing the waters during the dating stage and then somehow cultivating things so it seemed like the guy was actually the one encouraging it. If they thought that the first time was with their encouragement and had no idea of the history perhaps by implication they would be less inclined to do anything toxic in the event of a messy separation etc. You come across as an emotionally intelligent being (not just based on your question but that’s the vibe I get in general) so you can no doubt place faith in your own intuition too. For you to be romantically interested in a man they are most likely a certain caliber of person which might mitigate some of the risk of them being capable of grossly disrespecting you and your privacy in any event. Unsure if this was helpful but hopefully there’s some confirmation of what your instincts were already telling you
Sincere question to the women who has a human male partner. How did you come out of the closet?
- Thread starter LilyBlue
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knotagentleman
Tourist
Been there, done that, got the T shirt 3x. Ome was a longtime friend from school, the other two I happened to meet along the way. One, I noticed scratches, the other, due to my size, and her short stature, it was really, really hard not to notice the "knot pocket".
All three ended fairly amicably. The first, she passed in a car wreck some years ago, but we were still.on fantastic terms. The other two, just sort of faded out like any other relationship. I think I might be unique in that I don't really like to be present all that much. I enjoyed the random txt of a huge knot straining in my partner's pussy, enticing me to come home and have my own way woth her later, etc.
But the dominance thing is just... very situational. If it isn't, then you're dealing with a very insecure human and you need to reevaluate.
Misty
Tourist
Well, I got pretty lucky I have to say! Because when I met my boyfriend we started out being pretty nasty in bed 
and one day he just asked me what porn I was watching - and I remembered what I was doing that morning. And that included some zoo-porn 
so he saw it, but had the same kink as me!!
and one day he just asked me what porn I was watching - and I remembered what I was doing that morning. And that included some zoo-porn so he saw it, but had the same kink as me!!
This is common. Insecurity is honestly the source of most relationship problems, from either side of it. If you like the person you started dating, then date that person. The controlling and changing aspects are weak and ruin all the fun.
ausbeast420
Citizen of Zooville
Idk, I did take the plunge and bring it up with an ex partner but only after lots of feeling out and reading between the lines, she made it seem like she was very against certain things but I had to take a gamble one day and see if that was deflection or something else, I'm glad I did because I read it right but it could have gone very wrong tbh, wish it was easier
Lascivious Scent
Tourist
I've only shared my zoo nature with one girlfriend, when I was much younger and more naive. It turned out unbelievably well as she admitted having fantasized about dogs as well. Neither of us had any real experience and the relationship didn't last long enough to include any furry friends into our sex life either.
In my current relationship, I am too scared to share anything about me being zoo. I am 95% she would not understand an most likely even be disgusted by it. That combined with my own guilt and insecurities around animal intimacy makes me keep this quite secret.
I still would love to share this intimate part of my life with someone and since I'm openly polyamourous, it's not impossible to meet a partner who is also zoo or at least open to it. But I'm very careful about sharing anything outside of places like this. There would have to be very strong vibes that she may also be into very kinky stuff. I would probably start by introducing the idea of exotic animal shaped dildos into our sex life at some point and see how she responds to that. Then eventually maybe mention the real thing carefully.
I don't think my chances of ever finding someone are very high though. So many men are just into it as a fetish and either give the rest of us a bad name or try to be controlling about it.
In my current relationship, I am too scared to share anything about me being zoo. I am 95% she would not understand an most likely even be disgusted by it. That combined with my own guilt and insecurities around animal intimacy makes me keep this quite secret.
I still would love to share this intimate part of my life with someone and since I'm openly polyamourous, it's not impossible to meet a partner who is also zoo or at least open to it. But I'm very careful about sharing anything outside of places like this. There would have to be very strong vibes that she may also be into very kinky stuff. I would probably start by introducing the idea of exotic animal shaped dildos into our sex life at some point and see how she responds to that. Then eventually maybe mention the real thing carefully.
I don't think my chances of ever finding someone are very high though. So many men are just into it as a fetish and either give the rest of us a bad name or try to be controlling about it.
LadyB
Tourist
Firstly, you are not alone in how you feel about this issue. Secondly, has the situation changed since you posted some while ago? Have you been been able to find someone? The reasons I kept it a secret is because of the reasons you cited @illegal, shame, bad press it and hence I have withdrawn into a shell of sorts. Of course, it would be wonderful to have someone understand and support you and hopefully it will happen to those of us who want it
Like some of the ladies mentioned, focus on the criterion you want in a guy and tone your ways of finding out his interests and acceptance if you told him before you start investing emotionally. By now you would have a serious check list ( sorry to make this sound like a task) to figure out the list of possibles and keep trying. once you narrow in, the only way in my opinion to have a heart to heart open conversation.
I hope you meet that special someone who will love you for who you are.
Like some of the ladies mentioned, focus on the criterion you want in a guy and tone your ways of finding out his interests and acceptance if you told him before you start investing emotionally. By now you would have a serious check list ( sorry to make this sound like a task) to figure out the list of possibles and keep trying. once you narrow in, the only way in my opinion to have a heart to heart open conversation.
I hope you meet that special someone who will love you for who you are.
Maylam
Tourist
I've answered it a few times with previous posts. My husband and I were already a couple, though dating and not married. It came about from him asking, as we were, and still are to some degrees, in the furry fandom. We had talked about having crushes on four legged animal characters and the artwork the fandom has.
Certain conversations lead to him outright asking. We both confessed to loving animals, and it was extremely freeing to know this was something else to help strengthen our bond as we didn't need to hide away these parts from each other.
Honestly, I could have most likely lived my life never coming out, as most do. My attractions to felines, and them being so small, keeps me from ever really being able to be fully intimate and I've long sense accepted these facts. While I've had sex with canines, these were more casual and I could live my life not having these interactions again if needed, as long as I can keep a close bond with my beloved cats.
I won't lie however, it is freeing to have someone that knows and understands. I really wish this was the case for all of us who want or have a human partner.
You mentioned cheating, and I'll be honest in that I don't exactly seeing having sex with an animal to be cheating with your human partner. The vast majority of animals are not monogamous (and many humans aren't either!) nor do they have any understanding of human relationship dynamics.
I do understand someone feeling hurt to find out their partner is having sex with an animal, since most would probably lose their minds over it, I can't say it's the same as cheating with another human, who do fully understand the social and relationship dynamics of our culture.
Navigating a relationship with someone you've no idea is zoo or not, while also having the identity being strong enough you don't want to keep it hidden hugely wrecks many of us. I cannot give a good answer on what to do about it, because you always have the chance of something going drastically wrong and I don't want to give advise that could lead to that.
Certain conversations lead to him outright asking. We both confessed to loving animals, and it was extremely freeing to know this was something else to help strengthen our bond as we didn't need to hide away these parts from each other.
Honestly, I could have most likely lived my life never coming out, as most do. My attractions to felines, and them being so small, keeps me from ever really being able to be fully intimate and I've long sense accepted these facts. While I've had sex with canines, these were more casual and I could live my life not having these interactions again if needed, as long as I can keep a close bond with my beloved cats.
I won't lie however, it is freeing to have someone that knows and understands. I really wish this was the case for all of us who want or have a human partner.
You mentioned cheating, and I'll be honest in that I don't exactly seeing having sex with an animal to be cheating with your human partner. The vast majority of animals are not monogamous (and many humans aren't either!) nor do they have any understanding of human relationship dynamics.
I do understand someone feeling hurt to find out their partner is having sex with an animal, since most would probably lose their minds over it, I can't say it's the same as cheating with another human, who do fully understand the social and relationship dynamics of our culture.
Navigating a relationship with someone you've no idea is zoo or not, while also having the identity being strong enough you don't want to keep it hidden hugely wrecks many of us. I cannot give a good answer on what to do about it, because you always have the chance of something going drastically wrong and I don't want to give advise that could lead to that.