Post Cum Regret
- Thread starter anon08f7f
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It's all a state of mind. For me at least, if whatever porno, or animal I'm sleeping with, is happy and well satisfied then I have no reason to feel any guilt over it. With porn in particular, as stated in your post, if the human is happy and more importantly, if the animal is also equally as happy then obviously no harm has come from this exchange. The happy feel good chemical were released by both parties. Good times were had by all, just not you, then consumer of the content. Obviously, if both parties didn't feel mutual satisfaction from the sexual encounter, then guilt/disgust is a reasonable response.
What isn't easy is getting over is your typical sapient programming. Humans are conditioned from an early age to generally try to fit in with the societal norms of their community and culture. Even if you feel like you're "unique and different than most people" you're still subjected to what society expect you to act and behave like. So the very fact that you're masturbating to bestiality porn is causing you to be in a state of cognitive dissonance. Most of society will tell you it's wrong, yet you find it sexually appealing despite what society says.
There's no easy way to just "turn off disgust" in a sense. I'd ask yourself why this content is appealing to you in the first place. Why this content alone is making you feel shameful. And, why you're feeling shame over something you find sexually appealing. Even then, this disgust is possibly just irrational.
What isn't easy is getting over is your typical sapient programming. Humans are conditioned from an early age to generally try to fit in with the societal norms of their community and culture. Even if you feel like you're "unique and different than most people" you're still subjected to what society expect you to act and behave like. So the very fact that you're masturbating to bestiality porn is causing you to be in a state of cognitive dissonance. Most of society will tell you it's wrong, yet you find it sexually appealing despite what society says.
There's no easy way to just "turn off disgust" in a sense. I'd ask yourself why this content is appealing to you in the first place. Why this content alone is making you feel shameful. And, why you're feeling shame over something you find sexually appealing. Even then, this disgust is possibly just irrational.
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HornySquid
Tourist
I’ve been feeling it a bit recently. It goes away after a while, but you’re not alone when you feel that.
Aussie Animal Lover
BANNED
if that's the case then maybe you should really consider if this is what you are into or want to watch.
iv never felt regret personally because this is what i find natural
iv never felt regret personally because this is what i find natural
Kristy
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
Your opening post and your headline aren't really in line with each other, so, I need to know: The "awful and depressive and physically ill" feeling - are you feeling that right after orgasm, or right after viewing "the content?" I have a specific reason for asking.
I’d like to know the answer to that question too.
anon08f7f
Tourist
Personally its more of the content itself because of all the stress I have built up over beastiality.
anon08f7f
Tourist
Why? I don't know well. Its probably since as a kid I was groomed by zoos and shown this content as a kid, told it was ok, asked to do this for them and so on. It was really traumatizing and it hits me every fucking time like a kidney shot to my mental health when I think about it.
anon08f7f
Tourist
i cant even do it, i just either have a full on panic attack and my stress gets very very bad or I end up in a lot of pain. Even know I'm very anxious and stressed
Aussie Animal Lover
BANNED
really doesn't sound like zoo is right for you. if you feel physically ill there is a reason for it
anon08f7f
Tourist
I don't disagree. but i cant really fucking stop or get help for it. therapy isnt too helpful, support from friends isnt enough. i seriously need help, but theres nothing really there for me.
anon08f7f
Tourist
Anything. pics, videos, writings, etc.
anon08f7f
Tourist
Just simply enjoying the stuff. The physical reaction I get.
anon08f7f
Tourist
never had one, And I don't want to.
Aussie Animal Lover
BANNED
if you really do enjoy it and you aren't watching sadistic shit then there is no reason to be ashamed. do you have emotional feelings towards animals or is your enjoyment purely sexual?
anon08f7f
Tourist
both, but mostly sexual right now.
im ashamed, but moreso, I'm seriously fucking scared about all of this, no matter how logical or broken down for me it is, i always freak the fuck out over this, afraid im going to die and shit.
Aussie Animal Lover
BANNED
look, i really cant weigh into your situation as its clearly quite the complex one to put it lightly. but if i was in your position id just simply take a break, reconsider whats right for you. and if you find yourself still coming back for more maybe take it as a sign that it really isnt so bad. i sympathize for you and hope you can get the help you need in this community or with a doctor. there is support out there you just need to seek it out
anon08f7f
Tourist
i hope i find a way to feel better soon. thank you.
Aussie Animal Lover
BANNED
no issues, if you ever want someone to chat to or even just to vent feel free to message me
If that is the case - that you were groomed into it, then you should seriously reconsider the lifestyle. Not everyone has to be, or wants to actively involved themselves in this lifestyle. Perhaps pause and reconsider your situation. Millions of people have pets and love them deeply without needing a sexual relationship with them. For many of us, however, we have a different bond that expresses itself with the intimacy of healthy, satisfying sexual relationships. If that's not what you're experiencing, then rethink things.
knotanewbie
Citizen of Zooville
Youre off to a good start. Discussing it and getting it off your chest. This is the place to do that and im sure there are many others that feel just like you do. Our minds are complex. we tend to over think things. Good luck to you.
Y
yariscode867
Guest
This sounds like child abuse. You were forced as a kid to participate in sexual activity by adults, and now have negative physiological consequences from it? Its absolutely normal psychological consequences of sexual abuse.
Most people only begin to feel better once they start the process of confronting their abusers, or following through with law enforcement involvement. I would recommend taking that route
Seriously, this is classic PTSD from childhood sexual trauma. NOT a conflict of sexual identity .
anon08f7f
Tourist
I've tried a lot to get several of my abusers arrested or at least had what they done to me as a kid posted online, but nothing ever happened. Not even my parents at the time even believed me, let alone when I was sexual assaulted multiple times in elementary/middle school.
I frankly don't know the seperation between sexual identity and trauma, its just always been the same thing- forced to serve others- or even just serving in general is all I can really enjoy. Because of this I like everything. and i really hate that. Its not something I can control, or change anymore. its who I am now.
anon08f7f
Tourist
Its more that I can't help but think about having those relationships, really giving me intrusive, frankly disturbing thoughts I really don't want to think of that gives me so much trouble.
i dont want to have that relationship, or be known as one. i dont want to be that one guy nobody likes, like a reforming pedo- yeah sure hes reforming hes trying his best.....but hes a pedo sort of issue. People see that, and dismiss you as worthless, nothing, less than dirt, and usually- only good dead.
Those are some strong conflicts. I'm sorry your past experiences have gotten you to this point. When you feel the worst, take a deep breath, consciously pause your thinking if it's leading to a downward spiral - say to yourself 'this isn't helping right now'. A walk outdoors can do wonders to reset these things. You will find great support from some members here. If it's not enough, seek good professional help. Not all professionals are good at what they do though. I hope this somehow helps. It's helped others I know.
You've stated what you don't want. What do you want?
Kristy
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
"...as a kid I was groomed by zoos and shown this content as a kid, told it was ok, asked to do this for them and so on. It was really traumatizing..."
Not every kid would be affected the same way, but I think we could have something there, especially since you used the word, "traumatizing." If enough bad things happened while you were shown the zoo porn while a child, you would easily be affected the way you are now as a adult, even while not being able to stop looking at it.
Some things may even have happened which your mind has caused you to forget, as an attempt at self-protection, but which may be causing you problems, no matter what. A gifted psych CAN help you eradicate this problem, but it take a VERY long time and LOTS of money.
Here is a semi-solution you won't get from any professional: Leave this site for your own good, and stay away from zoo porn from any other source. Replace it with some other kind of porn which doesn't make you feel the way zoo porn does. That's not a perfect solution, I know, but it will help a lot.
This is a very thoughtful and insightful response, Kristy.
OP, the thing I hope you can see is that you don't have to do this, you don't have to like this. Even if you don't know it or can't see it, you have it in you to decide for yourself what you want. It may be burried or lost but it's there. You did good to reach out in the first place. I have to believe most people here want the best for you. Let us, or someone supportive, know how it's going, or what issues you are getting stick on. Don't go it alone if you need help.
anon08f7f
Tourist
The issue is, I do want this though. I know I shouldnt but I do. I cant personally afford therapy, let alone from soneone good and the people I live with are serverely abusive to me. I have my partner helping me, and I love him for that. I know this is bad. yes it will hurt a lot. But I want it despite that anyway. I blame it on trauma but I can't just. Stop wanting it. Like how I want to be held, I want to not be alone. its all I need.
FordLannock
Citizen of Zooville
Maybe I'm reading black and white, and I'm no expert, so if I say something that rubs wrong, it's not intended. But if I'm understanding correctly, you don't want it because as a child you were told to want it. So since this was usually from an abusive situation, it disturbs you and seems wrong realizing that what they did, which was more for them, is wrong. Guilt through association with them. But on the flip side, you have also found you do want it because you do enjoy the thought and the feelings of pleasure and arousal it does invoke. Guilt for being told by bad people to want it, but shamed pleasure because you actually do desire it. At least that's what I think I'm reading.
I suppose the hard part is separating the two halves. Enjoy it for YOU, not because of the demands they put on you back then. If you're forced to eat chocolate ice cream because THEY say only chocolate is good, it shouldn't stop you from actually enjoying chocolate ice cream when they are gone if you really do like it. Perhaps it's the company you need to share this "secret" with that will make the difference. Rather than someone demanding you do it for them, someone who wants your happiness to be first and supports you for doing it for yourself.
Now the public is a different "animal" to begin with. This is not the sort of thing you should probably advertise openly due to the obvious fears you have expressed and we all know, whether curious or actually active. But perhaps a select few, or one, you can trust, who won't judge you, and will like you whether you want to pursue this for your pleasure. The past people sound like they were putting their desires and pleasures first with their demands and what they exposed you to. Find someone who puts your desires and pleasure first and is happy for you when you are happy and enjoying yourself.
Kydiell
BANNED
I used to feel this way when I was younger, however after I found out that communities like this - and the sheer number of people that are interested and engage regularly in this, I realised there is nothing to be regretful about. As long as things are totally consensual and not forced, everyone is having fun - it's all good.