I'm going to be 100% honest here

[Saintsash]

To each his own, but I wouldn’t hit a woman (even if she asked me to.) That’s just not cricket. ?

I'm open if they are into it. I find it really interesting that of all places, I'm getting consensual fetish conservatism from a zoo site. What I did wasn't even illegal, it was a consensual S & M arrangement between friends. It just blows my mind a little that we are discussing this on a forum about something that in most circles is judged to be incredibly negative, and yet here we are making wafer thin judgements. Cynically coming to immediately the worst case scenario of a parallel fetish.

Not to you personally, but just the lack of self-awareness from some folks. A woman has the right to choose what she enjoys, and she chose that.
Just like women have the right to choose zoo.

I think my biggest mistake was being colourfully drunk and having access to a laptop. I left it too ambiguous, and the wording a bit too flagrant, and allowed peoples imaginations to go wild and assume the worst. Obviously something I will just have to avoid in the future

 

[TheZipper]

I'm open if they are into it. I find it really interesting that of all places, I'm getting consensual fetish conservatism from a zoo site. What I did wasn't even illegal, it was a consensual S & M arrangement between friends. It just blows my mind a little that we are discussing this on a forum about something that in most circles is judged to be incredibly negative, and yet here we are making wafer thin judgements. Cynically coming to immediately the worst case scenario of a parallel fetish.

Not to you personally, but just the lack of self-awareness from some folks. A woman has the right to choose what she enjoys, and she chose that.
Just like women have the right to choose zoo.

I think my biggest mistake was being colourfully drunk and having access to a laptop. I left it too ambiguous, and the wording a bit too flagrant, and allowed peoples imaginations to go wild and assume the worst. Obviously something I will just have to avoid in the future

Ah, Jerry McGuire syndrome. ? Just for clarification, I wasn’t judging….only stating my opinion regarding me. Like I said, to each his/her own.

 

[Saintsash]

Ah, Jerry McGuire syndrome. ? Just for clarification, I wasn’t judging….only stating my opinion regarding me. Like I said, to each his/her own.

Absolutely. That's why I said, not you personally I appreciated the non-judgement which I feel should be the standard answer given context.

 

[Panda Chen]

I'm open if they are into it. I find it really interesting that of all places, I'm getting consensual fetish conservatism from a zoo site. What I did wasn't even illegal, it was a consensual S & M arrangement between friends. It just blows my mind a little that we are discussing this on a forum about something that in most circles is judged to be incredibly negative, and yet here we are making wafer thin judgements. Cynically coming to immediately the worst case scenario of a parallel fetish.

Not to you personally, but just the lack of self-awareness from some folks. A woman has the right to choose what she enjoys, and she chose that.
Just like women have the right to choose zoo.

I think my biggest mistake was being colourfully drunk and having access to a laptop. I left it too ambiguous, and the wording a bit too flagrant, and allowed peoples imaginations to go wild and assume the worst. Obviously something I will just have to avoid in the future

The way you presented it was in a boastful manner that was not explained. For a lot of zoos consent is a very important and sensitive topic considering being constantly told what they are doing is non consensual. There is also the need to be aware of abusers which anti zoos lach on to and make it look like all are like that. People have learned to be reactive when it comes to any kind of abuse perceived or otherwise as this community does not need to be associated with that. Whether it is right or not that is what society has done.
As for people being understanding that goes both ways. Misunderstandings happen but sitting there self rightous doesn't really help either. Perhaps try to understand why people are more reactive about a particular subject. Some people's sensory inputs are cross wired and they like pain. It's not my thing and people have the right to decide what their limits are. However as you have found out if you just start going on about beating people up without any context you will get negative reactions. You will probably get negative reactions with context also just not as many. People are judgmental in nature and when in a community that is under heavy scrutiny that is trying to show itself to be positive and also just trying survive you're going to get questioned and honestly the original comments are deserving of that. You have since explained and I hope that is true but only you know if it is. We only have what people present themselves as to go by and not all are honest. Hopefully there are some good lessons learned here.

 

[Saintsash]

The way you presented it was in a boastful manner that was not explained. For a lot of zoos consent is a very important and sensitive topic considering being constantly told what they are doing is non consensual. There is also the need to be aware of abusers which anti zoos lach on to and make it look like all are like that. People have learned to be reactive when it comes to any kind of abuse perceived or otherwise as this community does not need to be associated with that. Whether it is right or not that is what society has done.
As for people being understanding that goes both ways. Misunderstandings happen but sitting there self rightous doesn't really help either. Perhaps try to understand why people are more reactive about a particular subject. Some people's sensory inputs are cross wired and they like pain. It's not my thing and people have the right to decide what their limits are. However as you have found out if you just start going on about beating people up without any context you will get negative reactions. You will probably get negative reactions with context also just not as many. People are judgmental in nature and when in a community that is under heavy scrutiny that is trying to show itself to be positive and also just trying survive you're going to get questioned and honestly the original comments are deserving of that. You have since explained and I hope that is true but only you know if it is. We only have what people present themselves as to go by and not all are honest. Hopefully there are some good lessons learned her

At the time I wrote this, I hadn't really cared about optics, since I wrote it after a night drinking with friends. I just wrote what I was thinking and felt at the time. And I was enjoying just letting loose. Really I just wanted to write something for me, and just cast it into the wind. I just dumped my life out without filter.

I definitely do think I came off a bit brazen in hindsight. I tend to get very expressive and colourful when drunk, as my background is actually originally in writing. Probably not the best moment to choose poetic licensing and refer to S & M so loosely.

My main message was "Hey, I feel like I'm doing ok. I feel like my life is on the right track. I'm ticking all the boxes that I've been told I should tick, but that hasn't really made me happier or closer to sharing this lifestyle as part of an endgame relationship".

I was frustrated with that. Because I had a much stronger connection to this lifestyle, and other exciting memorable adventures when I didn't have anything - which I colourfully listed out. I really cherish those memories, because they were so unique and exciting. I just felt like I had sacrificed that part of myself to get somewhere. And that's new to me. I've only gotten my shit together in the past 3 years.

Also I had some vague rambling calls for "Women on my level" . Which is kind of funny now in hindsight. But I think meant, stable, motivated, looking for something long term. Have some shit worked out. And I didn't expect an answer, because it's obviously difficult to find - it was more just a call to the wind.

 

[saddlebum66]

Contrary to what appears to be popular belief, this taboo little hobby is not a "Check your mind and your morality at the door." Youre surprised because you caught so much resistance? Bub...if that didnt teach you not to drive drunk, I don't know what will. You may find a few sympathetic souls here....dollar to a donut hole they will be male, under thirty, and inexperienced in bondage, bestiality or six figure incomes.
You put your foot in it, AND there is truth to the old saw " In Vino, Veritas". Your original post rang truer than your subsequent imitations of Bill Robinson. You exposed your heart. If most of us noticed it is empty, you have only yourself to blame.

 

[Chris_Topher]

In his defense, he did say "ignore if you like" lol.

But man...I imagine if you're at the level you claim, the women on that level aren't t going to risk losing everything by broadcasting themselves - even lowkey frequency. And even if they were as sexually open-minded as you, chances are they may be very tightly wound, buckled down under the pressures of having to BE at a high level of status. Not everyone has the luxury of indulgence. You'll find her one day.

 

[labsareawesome]

OP: I know what you said and I understand the context that you meant. FWIW, I do not find fault with you. I hope you find what you're looking for in your love life.

 

[Panda Chen]

The fact is everything you choose to gain comes at a cost of something. It's always a matter of if what you gain is worth it.