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I'm going to be 100% honest here

Saintsash

Saintsash

Tourist
I'm going to be 100% honest here. I just need to vent for a second. ignore if you like.

I'm drunk after a night out with my friends. I have great friends, but I've always been mostly alone in this lifestyle.

I have great Job. I own my home. But I've never got it right with zoophilia. I'm 32. I make 6 figures, but the only time I've gotten to be around dog girls is when I was poor as fuck, and living on the edge.

To be honest I know why, but it still pisses me off.. I'm careful. I am so careful with this Because I know how much there is to lose.

Don't get me wrong. I've been with dogs. I've been through serious phases of delicious degeneracy. I've fucked girls in broad day light in cemeteries, in the middle of rainforests, on rooftop parking lots, and in stair wells. I've beaten girls who've begged for it. And yes, I've been with gf's that have I've seen get on all 4's for dogs.

But why the fuck does it feel like the more successful I get, the further I drift away from this lifestyle?

Not to be judgemental, but where are the girls on my level? You know what I fucking want? I want a wife that I connect with, but can't help but need to get fucked by dogs at every opportunity they have.

At the end of the day, I refuse to let my dreams only be dreams. This is what I want, and I'm going to find a way to make this happen.
 
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I been looking for years, never got to a 6 figure job tho.... they everywhere and nowhere at the same time. So if ya find one, hang on to her and dont let go, cause if they willing to show this side of them they trust you.... Or they a drug addict willing to do anything for a fix.... Just vet them well!
 
Saintsash said:
Not to be judgemental, but where are the girls on my level?
Click to expand...

You answered your own question: they're being extremely cautious, because just like you they have literally everything to lose. Regardless of status or wealth, most people are extremely cautious because guess what? Being outed guarantees the end of every relationship they've ever had, the end of their career, risks up to a decade in prison, and legitimately jeopardizes the lives of their partner(s). That's why you don't hear the clamoring of women desperate to be with you. Are you willing to risk everything you have to meet a girl who is a zoo?
 
LuvelyLeda said:
The way you talk reminds me of those motivational instagram influencers that give me the feeling that they're lowkey more interested in humble bragging rather than actually helping anyone.


Not to be judgemental, but don't act like the world owes you the perfect fetish wife because fucking in a cemetery in broad daylight just doesn't do it for you anymore.
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Ooof. I think you missed the very important context that I was drunk, and venting. Like so what? Those things have happened to me. I'm going to talk about them. Those are my experiences, and that's how I feel.

If that's makes you feel negative, then so be it. But maybe that's more to do with you, then with me.

You missed the entire point of that rant, and pin-point focused on the least important part of it. Material success doesn't equate to satisfaction or fulfilment, sexually or otherwise. There's frustration for me there. I feel less alive now than when I had nothing.

And I loved those experiences I had, thanks. They are memorable, I enjoyed them, and I think fondly of them. Those experiences are part of who I am, and how I'm built, and I accept that, and love them. Just like when I started with dogs as a teen.

And how exactly am I saying I am entitled to anything? My Final remark is me, drunk, resolving to achieve the things I want in my life. Like don't throw projected shade, and grubbiness onto a pretty cut and dry emotion dump about finding someone in my life to connect meaningfully with that I can just be myself with sexually.
 
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I'm drunk to right now?!! I was too with my friends!! and they don t know that about me either! I live in the same situation too!!:rolleyes:
 
xcelr8 said:
You answered your own question: they're being extremely cautious, because just like you they have literally everything to lose. Regardless of status or wealth, most people are extremely cautious because guess what? Being outed guarantees the end of every relationship they've ever had, the end of their career, risks up to a decade in prison, and legitimately jeopardizes the lives of their partner(s). That's why you don't hear the clamoring of women desperate to be with you. Are you willing to risk everything you have to meet a girl who is a zoo?
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I mean, I do have to agree with you. I think this was more of a rant about the problem, than expecting an actual solution. Because I know this. I understand because we are all cautious. That's part of the game we are all playing when we enter this lifestyle.This again was just me venting while drunk last night, because yes, it does make finding a compatible partner hard.

I don't think I'm banging a dinner gong, and expecting a bunch of zoo girls to come running. This is just an expression of a long held want, regardless of its infeasibility. I just wanted to pour it out somewhere.
 
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Material things which includes the fleeting pleasures of life never fill a void for long. They leave one wanting more endlessly.
The kind of woman that would make a good wife is going to be cautious and have high expectations. She is going to be confident and honestly not really need you. She needs a reason to want you and momentary thrills aren't going to do. She can get those with her dog if she wants to. I was told by an individual : a man has to be something really special in other ways because he won't be as good as a dog in bed.
My advice is to learn to be complete with or without someone.
 
Saintsash said:
I'm going to be 100% honest here. I just need to vent for a second. ignore if you like.

I'm drunk after a night out with my friends. I have great friends, but I've always been mostly alone in this lifestyle.

I have great Job. I own my home. But I've never got it right with zoophilia. I'm 32. I make 6 figures, but the only time I've gotten to be around dog girls is when I was poor as fuck, and living on the edge.

To be honest I know why, but it still pisses me off.. I'm careful. I am so careful with this Because I know how much there is to lose.

Don't get me wrong. I've been with dogs. I've been through serious phases of delicious degeneracy. I've fucked girls in broad day light in cemeteries, in the middle of rainforests, on rooftop parking lots, and in stair wells. I've beaten girls who've begged for it. And yes, I've been with gf's that have I've seen get on all 4's for dogs.

But why the fuck does it feel like the more successful I get, the further I drift away from this lifestyle?

Not to be judgemental, but where are the girls on my level? You know what I fucking want? I want a wife that I connect with, but can't help but need to get fucked by dogs at every opportunity they have.

At the end of the day, I refuse to let my dreams only be dreams. This is what I want, and I'm going to find a way to make this happen.
Click to expand...
"I've beaten girls who've begged for it."
Why do you beat up girls and, I assume, women? What makes you think it's okay to do that?
Does that make you feel like a real big man? I have news for you: REAL men do not beat up women. A male who beats up women is not a man, nor will he ever be. That is why no woman stays with you.
 
Success is measured by how much you have in the bank? Just to justify beating "girls who've begged for it"? Or you feel you somehow have a right to beat girls up because you are "successful"? My girlfriend, also my sub, is successful in that way too, but she doesn't beat anyone up, quite the opposite, and she is a zoo......As am I. Having had a couple of drinks does not justify your talking such hateful rubbish on here. Go do it with your "successful" friends.
 
I dunno, for every step of the ladder I’ve climbed someone has been there with a hand to “lift me up”, maybe it’s your turn for some inflection ( and it looks like the ladies have given you examples of places to improve). Perhaps turn around and lift the right partner up and they will enjoy the status as a partner, not a possession??‍♂️
 
Introspection....Socrates said of this,
" The unexamined life is not worth living"....
Funny how few of us "Rational Animals" do that even once in a life, let alone often.
If youve described a bondage situation as Beating....perhaps the problem lies in your vocabulary. Since you mentioned your income, and it really has nada to do with the parameters of your problem, Im wondering how many shades of grey are in your idea of relationships? Those damned books and the subsequent movies did no one any favors except the author and the production company; they were written for people who know nothing about such relationships, starred very pretty people, and added glam to the IDEA in the 14 yo audience that consumed them as if the potato chip was going out of style. The icing on the cake was silly little Ana and the butt plug. SUUUUURE. Like the tale of Goldilocks without the investigation. If this is your idea of relationships, there's another questionable issue. Even if your Enamorata SAID that's what she wanted, how would she know? As a dom, you're supposed to know, if she does not. In the REAL world, Ana would have waked ( late edit here....phones been wacky all day) with a very sore rectum, and likely have kneed Grey hard and Split.

The unfortunate reality is: Curiousity kills cats. It may just as quickly kill relationships. Baggage kills relationships...allergies kill relationships. Your mission, friend, is to figure out what kind of relationship YOU can keep alive. What nurtures it, what threatens it?

In the time I've been on this scene, Ive actually met ten women that were relationship worthy, but have found many more that for various reasons, theirs or mine, are online friends....some are very GOOD friends. I'm probably twice your age and broke most of the time....so that blows a number of your potential objections out of the water....Because, muchacho....it all STARTS with friendship. The rest of the work is yours to do, but now you have the place to begin. Good luck.
 
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bendmeoverrover said:
I been looking for years, never got to a 6 figure job tho.... they everywhere and nowhere at the same time. So if ya find one, hang on to her and dont let go, cause if they willing to show this side of them they trust you.... Or they a drug addict willing to do anything for a fix.... Just vet them well!
Click to expand...
"Everywhere and nowhere at the same time" - that's for sure! Myself, I'm not holding out too much hope.
 
I've been on both ends of the spectrum as well.. Broke as hell, yet living a fun life, and had multiple 6 figure jobs to boot.

When broke, we have less to lose, and just my opinion from my own experiences and watching others, when we have less to lose, we tend to play loose and take more risks.

The opposite seems to be true when we're doing well financially.

Unfortunately, it seems one is in opposition to the other. Finding the balance may be the key, although I can't speak to that because I have yet to accomplish this either.
 
knotjen said:
I know many. Men too. From the kink community. S&M is a thing, though it's a carefully negotiated thing with limits, safewords, yada yada.

Not the context he was talking about.
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Yes I'm aware of the S&M thing. And you're right. It's definitely not the same thing.
 
Saintsash said:
I'm going to be 100% honest here. I just need to vent for a second. ignore if you like.

I'm drunk after a night out with my friends. I have great friends, but I've always been mostly alone in this lifestyle.

I have great Job. I own my home. But I've never got it right with zoophilia. I'm 32. I make 6 figures, but the only time I've gotten to be around dog girls is when I was poor as fuck, and living on the edge.

To be honest I know why, but it still pisses me off.. I'm careful. I am so careful with this Because I know how much there is to lose.

Don't get me wrong. I've been with dogs. I've been through serious phases of delicious degeneracy. I've fucked girls in broad day light in cemeteries, in the middle of rainforests, on rooftop parking lots, and in stair wells. I've beaten girls who've begged for it. And yes, I've been with gf's that have I've seen get on all 4's for dogs.

But why the fuck does it feel like the more successful I get, the further I drift away from this lifestyle?

Not to be judgemental, but where are the girls on my level? You know what I fucking want? I want a wife that I connect with, but can't help but need to get fucked by dogs at every opportunity they have.

At the end of the day, I refuse to let my dreams only be dreams. This is what I want, and I'm going to find a way to make this happen.
Click to expand...
Don't give up. Just be careful.but keep looking. I've known a few women who are well into this lifestyle but always cautious.
 
tamlilcat said:
I don't know of any woman who begs to beaten. One of these days you'll come across one that will hopefully either seriously get your attention or end your suffering. My vote is for
knotjen said:
I know many. Men too. From the kink community. S&M is a thing, though it's a carefully negotiated thing with limits, safewords, yada yada.

Not the context he was talking about.
Click to expand...
it was carefully negotiated. She enjoyed bruises. It was a very interesting change of pace.
Click to expand...
 
Kristy said:
"I've beaten girls who've begged for it."
Why do you beat up girls and, I assume, women? What makes you think it's okay to do that?
Does that make you feel like a real big man? I have news for you: REAL men do not beat up women. A male who beats up women is not a man, nor will he ever be. That is why no woman stays with you.
Click to expand...
I think the colourful language may have gotten the best of you. I was describing a consensual S & M situation
 
I appreciate everyone’s input into this. Everything I did was consensual and was pre-arranged. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so flamboyant in my language.

This was requested by an s & m friend of mine several years back. We would arrange hotel rooms in the city and we both got a thrill out of the bruises. That was a great year.

And hey, if that’s not your thing. Then that’s fine. But we both enjoyed it. Which at the end of the day is all I care about.

Regardless the interest has been appreciated. Some of your messages have been really great ?
 
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Saintsash said:
I appreciate everyone’s input into this. Everything I did was consensual and was pre-arranged.

I find it very interesting some of you immediately assumed I was proudly talking about abuse. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so flamboyant in my language.

This was requested by an s & m friend of mine several years back. We would arrange hotel rooms in the city and we both got a thrill out of the bruises. That was a great year.

None of that was really the point.

But regardless the interest has been appreciated ?
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Good to note....but know that even a slight slip here can get you clobbered.

One reason why subs are usually offered a contract, with the wills and won'ts and other details spelled out, is to prevent ambiguity....and it makes sense. If You were in her hands, and helpless to prevent whatever turns things take, youd want to know you can trust her, yes? If thats to be part of what youre seeking in life, you need a realistic idea of what can and cannot happen....before you go a- hunting.

Beasty girls are The HOLY GRAIL....few and far between. No guarantees you'll ever find one but your best odds are right here. Again...good luck.
 
saddlebum66 said:
Good to note....but know that even a slight slip here can get you clobbered.

One reason why subs are usually offered a contract, with the wills and won'ts and other details spelled out, is to prevent ambiguity....and it makes sense. If You were in her hands, and helpless to prevent whatever turns things take, youd want to know you can trust her, yes? If thats to be part of what youre seeking in life, you need a realistic idea of what can and cannot happen....before you go a- hunting.

Beasty girls are The HOLY GRAIL....few and far between. No guarantees you'll ever find one but your best odds are right here. Again...good luck.
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Trust me. We had a contract of wills and won’t. I actually really dislike subs that want to feel like it’s exciting and dangerous to have no contract. It’s stressful because I have no idea what her limits are when I’m trying to manage the scene. Lesson learned very quickly, very early on.

The ambiguity in my post was from being absolutely hammered ?. I forgot there’s sharks in these waters and just emotion dumped.

Overall I’d say I’m more of a dabbler than a full on S & M peddler though. It can be a lot of work consistently managing a sub. It’s a refreshing and exhilarating thrill every now and then though.

Definitely right about the holy grail. I have gotten lucky before with a girlfriend… but I couldn’t look past some dealbreakers.

Still kick myself even if it was the right thing to not continue with her. I just couldn’t trust her.
 
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Saintsash said:
I appreciate everyone’s input into this. Everything I did was consensual and was pre-arranged. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so flamboyant in my language.

This was requested by an s & m friend of mine several years back. We would arrange hotel rooms in the city and we both got a thrill out of the bruises. That was a great year.

And hey, if that’s not your thing. Then that’s fine. But we both enjoyed it. Which at the end of the day is all I care about.

Regardless the interest has been appreciated. Some of your messages have been really great ?
Click to expand...
I am finding it very hard to believe you. The way you wrote your initial comment was not from this perspective at all. It came across as misogynistic at best and very much, "look at me, I'm rich"! Trust me, women couldn't care less about your bank balance. And "beating" is not a term any self-respecting Dominatrix uses.
 
Miss_Rachel said:
I am finding it very hard to believe you. The way you wrote your initial comment was not from this perspective at all. It came across as misogynistic at best and very much, "look at me, I'm rich"! Trust me, women couldn't care less about your bank balance. And "beating" is not a term any self-respecting Dominatrix uses.
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Then you didn't get what I was getting at all.

"you don't believe me"... OK. Give me a break :cautious:

My tone was very drunk. That was my tone. Which I said. And I stand by what I said, especially now that I have given sober context from where I'm coming from.

Like literally it's me complaining that material success doesn't equivocate to personal success or happiness. As I said I actually had more success with zoophilia connections when I had nothing. That was half of my entire point. That I'm even further away now from this lifestyle now then ever.

Everything else was fun deviancy, that I enjoyed. But I've never been able to form a sustainable connection with anyone into zoo. Which I've been into since I was 14.

I know me. And that was how I felt. You can choose to believe what you want. At the end of the day, I know what I said, what I meant, and how I feel. I just wanted to put it somewhere, maybe get some thoughts from other people struggling to find connections.

My biggest sin was being colourfully ambiguous and allowing 1000 different conclusions to be drawn about my statements. In some ways I don't blame you, but also... cmon. I've provided plenty of context now, it's on you if you continue to assume the worst.
 
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