Buy Microsoft and Apple stocks. Bet on when Mt. St. Helens explodes (May 18, 1980). You do not have to graduate college in four years: take ten if you want. Give that one girl your phone number! Don't believe that old actor when he says things - he was elected on popularity, not knowledge or competence. And, yes, of course, other betting shit ... just not too much, or the mafia might take an interest.
But first: try to kill yourself before second grade. All those other advantages from future knowledge might make life less shitty, but it will still be shitty.