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If you ran into your younger self...

I'd start with a confidence booster and make sure he understands there are many more people out there who enjoy the zoo life too.
I'd tell him to have a lot more sex and don't be afraid to introduce this lifestyle to his girlfriends. Either they are too afraid to mention their desires, or they don't deserve him. That he will meet that someone to share with.
 
When you're on the deep web and see people talking about a stupid coin called bitcoin buy as much as you can. Keep in on a space hard drive then move it over to a USB stick and keep all the info.
 
Buy Microsoft and Apple stocks. Bet on when Mt. St. Helens explodes (May 18, 1980). You do not have to graduate college in four years: take ten if you want. Give that one girl your phone number! Don't believe that old actor when he says things - he was elected on popularity, not knowledge or competence. And, yes, of course, other betting shit ... just not too much, or the mafia might take an interest.

But first: try to kill yourself before second grade. All those other advantages from future knowledge might make life less shitty, but it will still be shitty.
 
Nothing really, I genuinely don't know of a decision I've made that I regret.

I new about Bitcoin when it was cheep, but I was too young to buy any and I couldn't convince my parents to buy any as it was against their religion.
 
a) Don't be such a whimp with females, I passed many an opportunity to have way more sex early in life.
b) Don't deny zoo feelings and try to find a girl to share your life with that accepts that part of you.

I'm pretty OK with most other things in my life's journey so far. I dwell on these two things the most as my biggest regrets with b) being the biggest by far.
 
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