How to convince partner for a dog?

W

whippiez

Tourist
my partner and I had two small dogs up until about 10-12 years ago. We now have a cat and I really miss having a dog and want to be able to explore things as well. My partner is quite adamant about no dogs, mostly says the cat wouldn’t like one. We rescued the cat when he was 4, so who knows if he would like dogs or not. Any advice?
 
This definitely sounds like a tricky situation there!

First of all, your partner’s feelings and opinions matter greatly as much as yours do. 🙂 If they are not quite ready for a 10-15+ year commitment—financially, mentally or even emotionally? That’s all things to consider. If you plan to have a sexual relationship with your new dog it’s possible to be discrete, but it’s advised to be very patient with involving your partner. Please do not get a dog just for sexual use either way or you likely will be very disappointed. They are living beings after all.

As for the cat in the house, you can in some cases do adoption trials or even just meet and greets to see if the other animals in the house are accepting of new animals. Again, advised to be done slowly especially with cats.

There’s so many amazing animals out there waiting for loving homes, if done correctly you could be granted pleasure from so many different ways in your new companion.
 
whippiez said:
my partner and I had two small dogs up until about 10-12 years ago. We now have a cat and I really miss having a dog and want to be able to explore things as well. My partner is quite adamant about no dogs, mostly says the cat wouldn’t like one. We rescued the cat when he was 4, so who knows if he would like dogs or not. Any advice?
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You're in a relationship with someone you love and respect. Why are you on here asking for advice? You already know the right answer and that is... your partner says "No, we have a cat." Don't force something on your partner, it sounds like you are in a loving, equal and respectful relationship. Don't spoil it, please.
 
Pretty_Vixen said:
Don't force something on your partner, it sounds like you are in a loving, equal and respectful relationship. Don't spoil it, please.
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dubious12 said:
There’s so many amazing animals out there waiting for loving homes, if done correctly you could be granted pleasure from so many different ways in your new companion.
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Where I live, almost all shelters force sterilization during adoption. Sadly, the only way to avoid that is buying :(
 
Pretty_Vixen said:
You're in a relationship with someone you love and respect. Why are you on here asking for advice? You already know the right answer and that is... your partner says "No, we have a cat." Don't force something on your partner, it sounds like you are in a loving, equal and respectful relationship. Don't spoil it, please.
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If they are both equal partners in the relationship, shouldn't they have just as much say as the partner? If ever they want different things, should they always just roll over and do what the partner wants to keep the peace? I would agree that it's not worth destroying a relationship over, but something true that has lasted so long should be able to withstand a bit of disagreement. There ought to be a way to settle things other than just one person getting what they want while the other person doesn't. Negotiate a compromise. You'll know it's right when both partners are equally dissatisfied.
 
amorousdog5 said:
If they are both equal partners in the relationship, shouldn't they have just as much say as the partner? If ever they want different things, should they always just roll over and do what the partner wants to keep the peace? I would agree that it's not worth destroying a relationship over, but something true that has lasted so long should be able to withstand a bit of disagreement. There ought to be a way to settle things other than just one person getting what they want while the other person doesn't. Negotiate a compromise. You'll know it's right when both partners are equally dissatisfied.
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That's why you ensure you find out as much as possible before moving in together. If I decided to date humans, and they said "eww dogs", that's the end of the date, on spot.
 
tektop12 said:
That's why you ensure you find out as much as possible before moving in together. If I decided to date humans, and they said "eww dogs", that's the end of the date, on spot.
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My understanding is that they actually HAD dogs together when they first moved in. Read the original post.
 
amorousdog5 said:
My understanding is that they actually HAD dogs together when they first moved in. Read the original post.
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I did read it but like all humans I can make an error or Miss a word so, youre part right, I missed the my partner. But that also could be OP coming into the relationship with dogs, and her respecting while they were there, we'd need OPs response on that.
 
whippiez said:
my partner and I had two small dogs up until about 10-12 years ago. We now have a cat and I really miss having a dog and want to be able to explore things as well. My partner is quite adamant about no dogs, mostly says the cat wouldn’t like one. We rescued the cat when he was 4, so who knows if he would like dogs or not. Any advice?
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Perhaps consider adopting a puppy? Easier for the cat and pup to adjust to each other in the long run
 
tektop12 said:
I did read it but like all humans I can make an error or Miss a word so, youre part right, I missed the my partner. But that also could be OP coming into the relationship with dogs, and her respecting while they were there, we'd need OPs response on that.
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Either way it still means both that the partner accepted living with dogs at that time and knew dogs were important to the OP at that time. This pretty clearly isn't a simple matter of them not knowing one another well enough when they moved in together. It's been over a decade, and people change. That's why there need to be some new negotiations.
 
cbrnth said:
Perhaps consider adopting a puppy? Easier for the cat and pup to adjust to each other in the long run
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Test the cat first. It's older and set in its ways. If they do go ahead, arranging meet and greets with dogs of various ages and sizes will be necessary.
 
amorousdog5 said:
Either way it still means both that the partner accepted living with dogs at that time and knew dogs were important to the OP at that time. This pretty clearly isn't a simple matter of them not knowing one another well enough when they moved in together. It's been over a decade, and people change. That's why there need to be some new negotiations.
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Entirely fair points
 
There's an interesting read here.

Unfortunately I haven't figured out how to do links on here just yet, but it's the LGBTQ...Z? That you can download.

I think many have passed over it because of the title, but I found it to be something that I would want a potential partner to read.
 
tektop12 said:
Test the cat first. It's older and set in its ways. If they do go ahead, arranging meet and greets with dogs of various ages and sizes will be necessary.
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My old cat scratched my rescue pitbull when they met. Got along ok after that. Cat sometimes hurt doggy boys feefees but he got over it.
 
SxaBeast said:
My old cat scratched my rescue pitbull when they met. Got along ok after that. Cat sometimes hurt doggy boys feefees but he got over it.
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You mean feewers! Feefees are those pesky tiny fuckers that like to live in their fur and make them itch!
 
I definitely see her point of view, and reasons. But it’s very… her way or the Highway on this, I’ve had friends tell me to just bring a dog home and I know better. It does make me sad because I miss having a doggy companion and I hate that is so negative about it.
 
SxaBeast said:
Mine itched from inbreeding till i supplemented fish oil...
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My last one had enough wolf in him that he couldn't eat any kind of dog food at all without getting the squirts. Found that it all straightened out when I had cooked more meat than the family could eat and gave some to him.

After that, I just always cooked for him, and found that he actually ate less, was healthier in all aspects, and actually didn't beg, but would sit in the kitchen and watch and wait for his, and then would just take his sweet time eating.
 
whippiez said:
I definitely see her point of view, and reasons. But it’s very… her way or the Highway on this, I’ve had friends tell me to just bring a dog home and I know better. It does make me sad because I miss having a doggy companion and I hate that is so negative about it.
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Ok now armed with more info, I have only the following to say.

If by "same sexual interests" you are, in fact, including zoo, given that you've had dogs for years to no issue.

I think her reluctance may be to the idea of you have sex with said dog, and maybe her interests aren't quite as in line as you think, tho I'm speculating.

Either way, her way or the highway, is a very one sided thing, and it begs the question of "how much more of your relationship follows the same paradigm". I think you two need to have a real discussion, about this exact stance. Just my opinion obviously
 
K_9River_rat said:
My last one had enough wolf in him that he couldn't eat any kind of dog food at all without getting the squirts. Found that it all straightened out when I had cooked more meat than the family could eat and gave some to him.

After that, I just always cooked for him, and found that he actually ate less, was healthier in all aspects, and actually didn't beg, but would sit in the kitchen and watch and wait for his, and then would just take his sweet time eating.
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Damn, sounds like i should be yr dawg. Share girl?
 
Loki could bite thru a 1 inch oak stick but was such a sweety when grumpy ol cat scratched at his face hed just look sad. Miss that boy...
 
whippiez said:
my partner and I had two small dogs up until about 10-12 years ago. We now have a cat and I really miss having a dog and want to be able to explore things as well. My partner is quite adamant about no dogs, mostly says the cat wouldn’t like one. We rescued the cat when he was 4, so who knows if he would like dogs or not. Any advice?
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Many cats tolerate or even like Dogs; many dogs reciprocate with cats, as well...so thats not an excuse.

BUT....There are two (count 'em) humans in the relationship. Pushing for a dog when your partner doesn't want one may unintentionally threaten that relationship. You already know your SO is opposed to the presence of a dog. What, then, do you think will happen when he/she catches you with the critter? Because he/she WILL catch you. You'll get careless, tired, or drunk some night, and engage enough to let your secret life out....and when you do, the relationship is DEAD. Worse....in most places, you could be jailed, the dog COULD be euthanized....at the least, your SO will give the dog to a shelter, while you languish in the legal system....This is what youre willing to risk for a little game of Doggie Slap-and-tickle? You'd better be sure because this isnt even "worst case Scenario". If your mate owns a Gun, both you and the dog could end up on a Slab in a local morgue. The SO and the dog will pay the Bill for your gratified foolish libido. Think about consequences... NO HUMAN ACT comes free of them.
 
saddlebum66 said:
Many cats tolerate or even like Dogs; many dogs reciprocate with cats, as well...so thats not an excuse.

BUT....There are two (count 'em) humans in the relationship. Pushing for a dog when your partner doesn't want one may unintentionally threaten that relationship. You already know your SO is opposed to the presence of a dog. What, then, do you think will happen when he/she catches you with the critter? Because he/she WILL catch you. You'll get careless, tired, or drunk some night, and engage enough to let your secret life out....and when you do, the relationship is DEAD. Worse....in most places, you could be jailed, the dog COULD be euthanized....at the least, your SO will give the dog to a shelter, while you languish in the legal system....This is what youre willing to risk for a little game of Doggie Slap-and-tickle? You'd better be sure because this isnt even "worst case Scenario". If your mate owns a Gun, both you and the dog could end up on a Slab in a local morgue. The SO and the dog will pay the Bill for your gratified foolish libido. Think about consequences... NO HUMAN ACT comes free of them.
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We are both very much into zoo, and have dabbled with this in the past, but I'm actually just looking for a dog for pure companionship. My sexual preference is larger dogs, but prefer smaller dogs for companionship, which is what I'm seeking :)
 
The advice still stands. Being "very much into zoo" sounds odd in respect of the opposition....are you mistaking "zoo porn" for zooishness? Thst is simply voyeurism with a specialty. Most here, by a LARGE percentage, watch and get off on things they personally would not do. Either youre giving us half-a-story, or theres a reason even you dont know. But pushing an unwanted pet on your SO is not a good idea.
 
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