Friends spotted?

[CuriousSwede]

Maybe mind your own fucking business and respect their desire for privacy?

Right? JFC some people, I swear.

If OP (originating poster) is bringing up someone's kink without that person having been open about it from the start, then they're more or less holding a dagger at the other person's throat. "I know something about you that others don't". No matter how you slice it, that comes off as a threat.

This is one of those situations where it would be *less* confrontational to casually raise the topic when out of earshot of everyone else. I happily wear an enamel pin of the BDSM triskelion on the hoodie that I wear day-to-day. A coworker has even noticed it and brought it up with me - but she did so by waiting until we were both out of earshot of the wider social gathering, so that it wouldn't be so awkward discussing such things in front of other people.

OP's intent doesn't matter one whit, what matters is how the approached person interprets it. What a pathologically self-centered view, "Well, I didn't MEAN it in the way that any sane person would interpret it, so therefore I'm the victim for them not phoning in to the 1-900 Vulcan Mind-Meld line in order to know what I magically meant".

It's plainly obvious to me, as someone born with the ignominy of being on the autism spectrum, that the person OP is talking about is *obviously* not interested and uncomfortable - what's OP's excuse? I would try to act surprised, but a disinclination towards self-reflection seems sadly common to people nowadays. Seriously, what, is this person supposed to innately know your intent through, what, astrology or something? Give me a break.

Interactions via the Internet inherently put people on the back foot, so to speak. It might be more comfortable for you to approach them in that way, but it speaks to an abject inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes if you think that that's the best way to approach things.

You've blown your proverbial load, OP. Take the L, accept that you're never going to get it on with your friend or her dog - if she's even your friend after this - and move on.

 

[Dominion]

Unfortunately, it's people like you who get stolen from, ripped off, defrauded and blackmailed every single day.
There is such a thing as "too nice." You'd better get your guard up, and keep it up. That "kind stranger" of whom you spoke could turn that whole thing into a very effective con. (NOTE: I don't know how. Some of those people are very clever. They'd find a way.)

He's pretending to be naïve, this guy IS the con man. He'd happily blackmail them if he was in her position.

 

[Dominion]

I presume you think (wrongly, but we'll not address that at this point) you're being clever, and have just hit me with a "major zinger". Bad news, sunshine - It just ain't so. All you're managing is to demonstrate that you don't have the sense god gave a grasshopper.

In case you hadn't noticed, this is a lifestyle where *ONE WRONG WORD* slipping into the wrong ear can cause consequences ranging from imprisonment and effectively, total destruction of someone's life, to their critters being mutilated or destroyed.

When you figure that out, come on back and let us have the benefit of your wisdom. All you're doing right now is trying to horn in where you're not wanted, offering advice that's not just bad, but actively dangerous, to both people and critters, and patting yourself on the back over how good a job you're doing. All the while showing those of us who have been around this block more than a few times that you're part of the problem.

Give it a rest, dude. Someone poking their nose where it doesn't belong, as the OP did, isn't just a small misunderstanding - it carries the very real potential for *SERIOUS* harm.

But hey, you'll just blow this off the same way you've done with the rest of what you've been told, so I guess that leaves only one thing to do - write you off as hopeless and move on. Spare yourself the effort of coming up with some sort of what you think is a "witty response". You've already made it very clear where you stand. Just do everybody a favor - make sure we're kept advised where that is, so that we can avoid being clobbered by the fallout from your foolishness.

Even if we go into the fictional scenario where bestiality was legal and there was no threat of harm to the couple or their animals it is STILL nobody's business even if the OP suspected that it's her "friend's" living room.

 

[robb-nokuy]

Unfortunately, it's people like you who get stolen from, ripped off, defrauded and blackmailed every single day.
There is such a thing as "too nice." You'd better get your guard up, and keep it up. That "kind stranger" of whom you spoke could turn that whole thing into a very effective con. (NOTE: I don't know how. Some of those people are very clever. They'd find a way.)

I think it's a pity you have been taught to live in such a state of constant fears. I probably would too if I came from that society, where you're made to believe everything is a threat and danger is just around the corner.

However, reality is not like that. A stranger is more likely to help you than to harm you. Oh, sorry, this isn't an opinion, it's a fact well established by research. You can look into it, and maybe that can help you start living a less fearful life. I can only imagine that it isn't very pleasant at all.

As a matter of fact I do know how con artists turn situations around, which is the reason why I have never been a victim of any. It is like this: They exploit their victims fears, insecurities, and most importantly, ignorance. It's extremely easy to read, especially in those who tend to give knee-jerk, gut reactions. Word to the wise, here.

I have now tried to ask honest questions in the hope of getting honest answers a handful of times in this thread, but for some reason you decided to ignore them completely and give me unsolicited life advice, not to mention insulting me and making poor guesses about my person. I can only take from this that you are not someone I should take seriously. Which is a pity.

 

[UR20Z]

Isn't it amazing how folks with an account that hasn't existed more than a couple of weeks can know so much more, and understand how things really are in the zoo "community" so much better than those of us who have been around since pretty much the day word got out that there was this new thing called the internet where, if you looked in the right places, you could find other animal fuckers to talk to?

Amazing thing, being young, dumb, and too full of jizz for your own good...

 

[Kristy]

I think it's a pity you have been taught to live in such a state of constant fears. I probably would too if I came from that society, where you're made to believe everything is a threat and danger is just around the corner.

However, reality is not like that. A stranger is more likely to help you than to harm you. Oh, sorry, this isn't an opinion, it's a fact well established by research. You can look into it, and maybe that can help you start living a less fearful life. I can only imagine that it isn't very pleasant at all.

As a matter of fact I do know how con artists turn situations around, which is the reason why I have never been a victim of any. It is like this: They exploit their victims fears, insecurities, and most importantly, ignorance. It's extremely easy to read, especially in those who tend to give knee-jerk, gut reactions. Word to the wise, here.

I have now tried to ask honest questions in the hope of getting honest answers a handful of times in this thread, but for some reason you decided to ignore them completely and give me unsolicited life advice, not to mention insulting me and making poor guesses about my person. I can only take from this that you are not someone I should take seriously. Which is a pity.

On the contrary, I made no insults, and made no guesses about you at all.
YOUR first paragraph is nothing BUT wrong guesses about me. I don't live in fear, because I use common sense. Not everything is a threat, and danger is not around every corner. You demonstrated you know nothing about my upbringing, or the society in which I live.
I couldn't care less whether or not you take me seriously. In fact, I'd prefer someone like you didn't take me seriously at all.
Wow, you sure made a fool of yourself.

 

[Kristy]

Isn't it amazing how folks with an account that hasn't existed more than a couple of weeks can know so much more, and understand how things really are in the zoo "community" so much better than those of us who have been around since pretty much the day word got out that there was this new thing called the internet where, if you looked in the right places, you could find other animal fuckers to talk to?

Amazing thing, being young, dumb, and too full of jizz for your own good...

All true. That person has a lot to learn about the real world, which will, sooner or later, eat him up and spit him out.

 

[tamlilcat]

Ok this is a bit surreal even for me. Recently I spotted a users (lurker) picture part of which was in a living room that I recognised immediately as I’d visited two weeks before. Naturally I messaged to say I had no idea they were into our discreet lifestyle. I got no reply. So when I bumped into the woman to whom the room belonged I mentioned to her (almost in code) that I’d recognised her living room online. (They are swingers who we know intimately on most levels) She didn’t know what I was talking about… so, I asked my hubbie to call hers and enquire directly about their profile on here. Now, we’re out for a drink and food at the weekend followed by who know what, question is do I get her pissed and spill the beans so to speak? Btw the picture changed the same day as hubbie called (coincidence?) I guess it could be one of them is sharing too much without the knowledge of the other.

No. If they want you to know. They will tell you. Handle it just like any other secret about them that you know from the LS.

 

[Dominion]

On the contrary, I made no insults, and made no guesses about you at all.
YOUR first paragraph is nothing BUT wrong guesses about me. I don't live in fear, because I use common sense. Not everything is a threat, and danger is not around every corner. You demonstrated you know nothing about my upbringing, or the society in which I live.
I couldn't care less whether or not you take me seriously. In fact, I'd prefer someone like you didn't take me seriously at all.
Wow, you sure made a fool of yourself.

The fools are starting to come out of the woodwork, aren't they?

 

[Kristy]

The fools are starting to come out of the woodwork, aren't they?

More than ever.

 

[bluemoon2208]

Ok this is a bit surreal even for me. Recently I spotted a users (lurker) picture part of which was in a living room that I recognised immediately as I’d visited two weeks before. Naturally I messaged to say I had no idea they were into our discreet lifestyle. I got no reply. So when I bumped into the woman to whom the room belonged I mentioned to her (almost in code) that I’d recognised her living room online. (They are swingers who we know intimately on most levels) She didn’t know what I was talking about… so, I asked my hubbie to call hers and enquire directly about their profile on here. Now, we’re out for a drink and food at the weekend followed by who know what, question is do I get her pissed and spill the beans so to speak? Btw the picture changed the same day as hubbie called (coincidence?) I guess it could be one of them is sharing too much without the knowledge of the other.

Any update on How things went?